Suicide jokes

[feels_like_rain]

So i pass this auto shop on my way to work every day, and they always have unique or witty sayings on their sign.
This is their current sign.
Obviously i get the actual joke they're intending, but every time i pass by it all i can think of is suicide and SN and cyanosis from the SN. Kind of makes me laugh internally. Whyyyyyyy am i like this. Who the the fuck looks at an auto shop sign and sees suicide lol
PLEASE i hope someone other than me thinks this is funny, or i'll feel like a crazy fuck who just sees suicide everywhere
Anyone have a suicide joke to add that isn't stupid like mine? Lol

 

[Csmith8827]

IF YOU COMMIT SUICIDE YOU GO TO HELL...YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT???

 

[MyLifeisHell]

There is an exercise called "suicides" where you run back and forth a little farther each time. The trainer I used to see asked if I knew how to do suicides. I thought "if I did I wouldn't be here talking to you".

 

[expired_dreams]

This is great lol. I've had many times where I would laugh outwardly when I hear or see suicide jokes in general (around a friend, etc) but internally I'm always like, "if only they knew". But then even if they did know I'd end up locked in a psych ward again..

So yeah, you're not a crazy fuck. Some of us just think about ctb a lot more than others I guess.

 

[jodes2]

What's the difference between a suicidal hooker and a dead hooker? I don't have a suicidal hooker in my basement

 

[lukas19]

IF YOU COMMIT SUICIDE YOU GO TO HELL...YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT???

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you can't tell, 99.9% on here are atheists. Who's hell? Christian's hell?, Mo's hell?, Jew's hell? 10,000s of Gods we don't both worshiping now? Let's take the Christiane god. (which is an minority taken across the world but popular in the west.) I think i have broken single commandment
and i think God is a c**t!! Pretty sure If something created hell (Only a malicious twisted creature would done that) Then I am heading to hell anyway, why suffer uneccessary 'til then.

 

[Bardo]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you can't tell, 99.9% on here are atheists. Who's hell? Christian's hell?, Mo's hell?, Jew's hell? 10,000s of Gods we don't both worshiping now? Let's take the Christiane god. (which is an minority taken across the world but popular in the west.) I think i have broken single commandment
and i think God is a c**t!! Pretty sure If something created hell (Only a malicious twisted creature would done that) Then I am heading to hell anyway, why suffer uneccessary 'til then.

As Billy Joel wrote, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints."

 

[lukas19]

As Billy Joel wrote, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints."

Can you imagine what a horrendous gulag ''heaven'' would be with God as the head warden. It would be 1984 on steroids, one wrong thought and chucked out the sky.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Suicide is mans' way of telling God, you can't fire me, I quit!!

 

[Dot]

Slf usd 2 mke suicde jkes in betwn clls whn volnteerng on suicde ht-lne

Jst lke 'ideas of advce 2 hlp ppl fl bettr: Nt wrry -- thre = alwys 2mro...O w8'