Spent Christmas alone but had to lie

[Lostworld01]

How embarrassing to get asked - did you have a nice Christmas? To only lie to ppl, because you spent it alone, never spoke to anyone and wished you were dead… " yes it was nice Thankyou " I hate my life

 

[lionetta12]

How embarrassing to get asked - did you have a nice Christmas? To only lie to ppl, because you spent it alone, never spoke to anyone and wished you were dead… " yes it was nice Thankyou " I hate my life

This has been the worst holidays of my life. I wish it could be over soon so I can stop getting holiday stuff rubbed in my face by happy people. It just reminds me how bad my life is and how lonely I am.

 

[outrider567]

This has been the worst holidays of my life. I wish it could be over soon so I can stop getting holiday stuff rubbed in my face by happy people. It just reminds me how bad my life is and how lonely I am.

My feelings exactly

 

[makethepainstop]

How embarrassing to get asked - did you have a nice Christmas? To only lie to ppl, because you spent it alone, never spoke to anyone and wished you were dead… " yes it was nice Thankyou " I hate my life

Me too! Oh I had a wonderful Christmas! Not since about 1980, but thanks, a hole.

 

[Reallysad]

How embarrassing to get asked - did you have a nice Christmas? To only lie to ppl, because you spent it alone, never spoke to anyone and wished you were dead… " yes it was nice Thankyou " I hate my life

I was the exact same woke up on Xmas morning with nobody.never had that before and it was awful esp with my kids away. Prob the one of the worst experiences of loneliness I've ever had tbh

 

[FuneralCry]

All those people who appear to be content now will likely just suffer more in the future, as anyway all that humans have to look forward to is ageing and deteriorating with no limit as to how awful things can get for us. And other people are never usually as 'happy' as they appear to be, we cannot know how they truly feel, they only show what they want us to see. But it must had been tiring having to pretend around other people.
For me christmas was just another day of being trapped in an existence that I despise, I just hate the fact that I'm still here and will sadly very likely still be here next year.

 

[Wannagonow]

I stopped giving people the honest run down of my holidays long ago. People don't listen and they don't care. It's like when people say "hi, how are you"? They don't care. As for the holidays, it's really easier to just say "oh, it was good" and be done with it. They'll move right on anyway. It'll make me feel like shit. But I'm used to that.

 

[StruggleWithin]

I was the exact same woke up on Xmas morning with nobody.never had that before and it was awful esp with my kids away. Prob the one of the worst experiences of loneliness I've ever had tbh

Divorced 2021, Christmas that year I needed to distract myself by going to the bar and drinking. That year I was out until bar time, 2am, and I wound up sleeping most of Christmas Day. This year I tried to do the same but I wasn't "feeling" it at the bar. So after 3 hours I went back to my apartment, alone, and distracted myself with continued binge-watching of a sitcom. I needed the distractions from the not being there Christmas Day morning, and not watching the joy and excitement and wonder on my children's faces. It sucks. Merry F***ing Christmas! I don't enjoy the holiday anymore. I just try to make it through. I have no words of comfort. Just solidarity that, I get it.

 

[Rairii]

I hate it so much. They ask what I did. I go blank, like what I did? I had horrifying flashbacks, cried, anxiety attacks, and just did absolutely nothing after that. Did I spend it with family? No, I don't have a family. I have no one. I spent it alone, just like every other year. Did I have a good one? I haven't had a good Christmas in my entire life, they were all tainted with some kind of trauma or just completely void of any celebration because I was deemed unworthy of partaking in it and being around others. Then they have to ask what I'm doing for new years. Like absolutely nothing, I don't do anything for any holiday. Every holiday brings me more pain. I wonder if at this point I should just claim I don't celebrate any out of some belief system but then id have another lie id have to explain which isnt worth the trouble. Either way, I always lie and say "yeah it was good. I spent it with family. Etc." Because I know no one wants to hear the truth and I can't blame them. It's just common social norms or whatever but I still dislike it regardless.

 

[TydalWave]

I hate it so much. They ask what I did. I go blank, like what I did? I had horrifying flashbacks, cried, anxiety attacks, and just did absolutely nothing after that. Did I spend it with family? No, I don't have a family. I have no one. I spent it alone, just like every other year.

Yes, I feel this way all the time with holidays. Like at this point if I have given up on myself, I feel like I should atleast be able to give up caring what other people think.

Or perhaps your right and it is just following social norms to avoid an awkward unpleasant conversation for both parties. But it is always so cringe. Lying is so hard for me even with trivial shit like this that it lingers in my mind like it has with you.

 

[RW__Asher23]

How embarrassing to get asked - did you have a nice Christmas? To only lie to ppl, because you spent it alone, never spoke to anyone and wished you were dead… " yes it was nice Thankyou " I hate my life

That is exactly what I did. No family calling or my kids or grand kids, friends did text me say Merry Christmas!! How is your Christmas? Me: Oh Hi yeah Merry Christmas to you! Yeah it's nice. Thanks. Them Ok great well bye. Lie to them and know I just want to die. That was only one who called me. Hate myself also. Just die is all I wanted. I get you 100%. Peace.

 

[looseye]

I feel all of you so much!
A coworker asked me how my christmas was. The question came so unexpected, I looked him dead in the eyes for some 2 seconds, only to end up mumbling "yeah, it was pretty good, how was yours?"... would've liked to tell the truth, that I spent it all alone and got some entertainment out of video games, but you're expected to celebrate this holiday with your loved ones, exchange presents and pretend everything is beautiful. You either do it this way or you'll get labeled as weird.

I'll spend NYE alone as well, maybe listen to some music and chat to fellow depressos on here, but nobody wants to hear that. Gotta make up an exciting fairytale in case someone asks about this day.

Truly a shit show, guys. Well at least we can be alone together here.