I,too, am lonely as well. Most people I used to talk to and the little conversations of those who will still find the 20 seconds in their day to talk to me are pretty content and of course have more than I could ever dream. Lately I've been trying to find a A.I to talk to, but most of them either don't like naughty words or are stupid beyond my realm of converstation. I hope it gets better in time because that's all I have. Life is a crimeless incarceration. There is barely any difference between existing and being in jail other than a few altercations that can take place. Constantly blame myself because I feel at some point in my life I must have did something bad to warrant this soul crushing loneliness, but everytime I think hard I can't think of what I've done in order to be as lonely as this. Never mistreated women, Never stole or back stabbed anyone, always been kind, still am to those who are as such and gave what I could.. Don't understand it at all. I don't require much to be content really. Just want love and be loved in return, have a couple friends that will chill with me once in a while and enjoy some brews. Just that alone would lift this dark veil that follows us, but fate has more Bullshit in store for us who have tried and may continue to try. Just beat us down until we can't do it anymore.
One thing that highly annoys me lately are these damn ADS that state Group Coupons so you and your friends can save $20 on your bill or games that preach about having friends to play and have fun I am sitting here in a rage thinking "WHAT FRIENDS!? DOES THESE PEOPLE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THIS CONCEPT EXISTS, IF SO WHERE IS IT SO I CAN PACK UP AND GTFOH!" Alas such a place doesn't exist for us. Continue to feel that familar sting in our hearts, cry until we are dry and just merely existing because mental health specialist (brainwashers is a better word) said so. They say "If you're suffering, don't do so alone call our hotline number!" WTF.. have you ever tried those? People there don't give a damn for starters AND they 5150 you if mention anything regarding CTB... We live in the most loneliest timeline in recorded history that I've been in. No one really gives a shit about you unless they can use you for something it would seem. I hate it.