Discussion Seniors Thread for Members 55 Years Old and Older

[SinisterKid]

Amen to that fella.

 

[WaterUnder]

Reading about the experiences of other oldsters on here and being able to relate has been really valuable for me, and this is a place to vent and complain about our lot after all. However, I would literally rather CTB this minute than have another exhausting online debate about whether men or women have it worse or who has privilege or whatever. Really done with all that.

Okay. I thought you wanted to talk about such things. Not trying to trigger you. Peace and love.
Chest pain. Two days.
Anxiety Attack? Heart Attack? Indigestion? Hypochondria?
Can worrying that an anxiety attack may be a heart attack cause a heart attack? Or stroke?

Is this relatable or am I just being odd (again)?

 

[stbdchick]

• women's suicidal rates increase with age, with the largest increase in those 60-64.

Well,they always said I was mature for my age. (57 now, dad died at 58, mom in early 60s)

 

[SinisterKid]

My case worker got me to write down how I felt before, during and after a full blown panic attack/anxiety attack. She read them over a period of about 6 weeks and instantly said "Yeah, you are having a panic attack" GP appointment was made, she confirmed diagnosis, more medication, which I must say, has helped somewhat. The attacks were causing a rapid increaase in heart rate, which, if left to its own devices, would probably lead to some form of heart problem at some point. Since being on Propranalol, my BP has been much better, heart rate whilst still elevated, is acceptable and my panic attacks are not so severe. I take 50mg in the morning and the same at night. I would gladly give up other meds, but if anyone tried to take that one away, they would have a fight on their hands.

So, what I do with most things these days, as my short term memory is so poor, I write shit down that happens on a regular basis, as and when it happens.

 

[WaterUnder]

@SinisterKid re: Propranalol
Thanks for sharing this, I checked it out. My BP has been good without meds for the most part, but if it starts creeping up, I'll discuss this with my doctor for the side benefits.

Glad this is working for you.

 

[stbdchick]

I used a sublingual form of kava kava when I was subject to panic attacks; interrupted them instantly.

 

[Crematedashes]

Sorry, not in your demographic but hey, not like I'm bringing the plauge if chime in.

I can't even give begin to guess the number of suicidal who are 55+ but I'm loosely confident they are a minority (<30%) due to my myopic view how anyone that old can go on is baffling to me assuming suicidality is was with this person several years before they reached 55.

I guess humans really are good at existing through the worst...

Also not a senior but suicide rates are the highest in elderly men and middle aged women as opposed to teenagers. But we only hear about the teenage suicide. And yes, suicide is the 2nd or 3rd leading cause of death in teenagers, but that's because it's so unusual for people to die at that age.

 

[WaterUnder]

QUESTION:
For those of us who have planned out our exit, how many have planned something fun, like a last hoorah or indulgence or something?

 

[SinisterKid]

Nope, cant say as I have anything like that in mind. I want to just expire with as little fuss and attention as possible. I wont be making any sweeping announcements or leaving letters, just want to go to sleep and not wake up again and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen when the time comes. Quiet in life, quiet in death, that would probably be on my headstone if I were to ever have one, which I wont.

 

[LaBrava]

I'm planning to have a last day or so in London where I used to live doing some of the things I used to enjoy. I'm also toying with the idea of buying myself a Seiko automatic watch - I've been watching YouTube channels about watches recently and never owned a non quartz watch, so might treat myself. I've had a lot of enjoyment out of Lego in recent years, so might buy myself one last set to build. Might buy a couple of clothing items. I should have funds for a small treat or two, but not for any big holiday or anything.

 

[WaterUnder]

I'm planning to have a last day or so in London where I used to live doing some of the things I used to enjoy. I'm also toying with the idea of buying myself a Seiko automatic watch - I've been watching YouTube channels about watches recently and never owned a non quartz watch, so might treat myself. I've had a lot of enjoyment out of Lego in recent years, so might buy myself one last set to build. Might buy a couple of clothing items. I should have funds for a small treat or two, but not for any big holiday or anything.

Your final bucket list is a simple one and I like that, especially going back to London and the last Lego adventure. The timepiece made me smile.

I'd like walk on the beach with my feet in the ocean in the early morning. I'd also like to get high and listen to music and just chill out (I've always been such a goody-goody). I want to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes (I quit over 10 years ago). Take a bubble bath. Simple pleasures. Maybe I'll bake my Grandmother's cake (or brownies) from scratch to enjoy for the last time. Make my donations to the human and animal shelters because it will make me feel good to leave something useful behind.

 

[WaterUnder]

There are several members who are facing issues related to later in life.

Seniors have a lot of concerns, from workforce discrimination, ageism in healthcare, loneliness, isolation, reduced income, increased medical expenses, lack of advocacy, as well as declining health/mobility and mental health challenges.

Suicidality in seniors may be from lifelong struggles or from new life challenges.

Maybe we can share our struggles and successes and find emotional support and coping mechanisms.

Please share your thoughts and stories. Maybe we don't need to be so alone in facing our struggles.

If you are "Over the Hill" this thread belongs to you. It is not something I created for me. Feel free to use it as you wish. I relinquish it to you.

 

[been_there]

Didn't mean to take that political rant down a men v women path. Was trying to illustrate some of the problems for us old guys.

As for last plans, that would make it too much of a celebration for me, which it isn't. All of yours sound good though.

Will leave letters for certain people to minimise their pain as much as possible.

 

[WaterUnder]

Didn't mean to take that political rant down a men v women path. Was trying to illustrate some of the problems for us old guys.

As for last plans, that would make it too much of a celebration for me, which it isn't. All of yours sound good though.

Will leave letters for certain people to minimise their pain as much as possible.

I appreciate the things you have to say, @been_there. You add a lot to this forum. You're all business when it comes to your final hours. I want to give myself one day. I did it for a dog I put down, gave him a day of his favorite things before I had him euthanized. He had a great day, of course, he didn't really know it was his last. (Tangent. I can't keep a thought.)

Your input is important here. You perspective is needed.

 

[been_there]

Thank you. Tangent's a good name for a dog.

 

[WaterUnder]

I'm wondering if any of you have elected to opt out of preventive care as a way of hastening your demise?

 

[Divine Trinity]

Nice to meet you too, despite the circumstances. Lets cut to the chase. World's fucked. But you don't really notice for a few decades, which is both the arrogance of youth and life's biological selfishness. I mean, it really is fucked. Humanity is up shit creek not only without a paddle, but without even the notion that it need one. Our species is, I fear, doomed to be little more than an anomaly of chance.

Being the worrying kind is the curse. Look at all those non-thinkers. IMHO obligation and compassion are as good reasons as any for living, better tbh. I find absurdity helps too (any port in a storm), which seems to be the last refuge of survivors.

Strange how good it feels to hear someone else mention the elephant in the room. I think it's safe to assume the worst-case scenario as a recent report just showed that the canadian-arctic perma frost is now melting, while it was expected to in 70 years. The feedback loops will soon, or may already be starting, that's the end for humanity, whether it be 50 years or 2 centuries.

There needs to be an emergency survey of Alaska, Greenland, and Russia's perma frost as well.

 

[stbdchick]

Eh... to some degree. I basically only take meds that make me feel better right now. So yes to insulins, prednisone, liothyronine, lasix, but no to the long list of other scripts and supplements I used to take.

Also, technically, I should be hospitalized right now, as bad as the CHF is, but all they'd do is give me IV lasix and I've got lots of lasix so see no reason to be subjected to bad food and a shortage of cats. ;)

I also have a very severe advanced directive that forbids almost everything without my explicit, competent consent.

Last summer, when hospitalized for the CHF, they thought I was also having another MI and wanted to take me to the cath lab. And I said I wouldn't go anywhere that a DNR wouldn't be in effect, so didn't go.

I'm a bad patient. ;)

 

[Cleopatra123]

There are several members who are facing issues related to later in life.

Seniors have a lot of concerns, from workforce discrimination, ageism in healthcare, loneliness, isolation, reduced income, increased medical expenses, lack of advocacy, as well as declining health/mobility and mental health challenges.

Suicidality in seniors may be from lifelong struggles or from new life challenges.

Maybe we can share our struggles and successes and find emotional support and coping mechanisms.

Please share your thoughts and stories. Maybe we don't need to be so alone in facing our struggles.

I'm a senior citizen with an ever worsening chronic illness, and a disabled son, and I would be very glad to have a special thread for related issues.

 

[Cleopatra123]

I'm wondering if any of you have elected to opt out of preventive care as a way of hastening your demise?

The old nurse says, yes, opt out of all preventive and intrusive care, it's just bound to cause you more pain, and possibly another problem. and be careful of the meds they would suggest, many new ones have outrageous side effects.

 

[WaterUnder]

The old nurse says, yes, opt out of all preventive and intrusive care, it's just bound to cause you more pain, and possibly another problem. and be careful of the meds they would suggest, many new ones have outrageous side effects.

My husband was on Avodart for years and then it started affecting his memory. We thought he had the beginning of dementia. We took him off of it and he was back to normal within 2 weeks.

My original intent was to see if anyone was opting out of routine exams and screenings, such as gyn, urology, colorectal, skin cancer and so on.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Sorry, not in your demographic but hey, not like I'm bringing the plauge if chime in.

I can't even give begin to guess the number of suicidal who are 55+ but I'm loosely confident they are a minority (<30%) due to my myopic view how anyone that old can go on is baffling to me assuming suicidality is was with this person several years before they reached 55.

I guess humans really are good at existing through the worst...

I'm glad that you are chiming in.
I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 7 (1972), but until now (age 56), I had people who needed me.
Was able to soldier on in order to spare my child, parents, etc.
("I've been 'pulling myself up by the bootstraps' for so long that they'll make an excellent noose!")
There is extremely rewarding freedom in having met my traditional obligations and finally being able to ease my own pain.
Please ask me any questions you might have about being suicidal for 49 years. I appreciate dialogue with others.

I wish I could contribute, but I'm not quite there yet. I can relate though so will follow with interest.

You can contribute. Are any of us, "there yet?"

 

[Cleopatra123]

My husband was on Avodart for years and then it started affecting his memory. We thought he had the beginning of dementia. We took him off of it and he was back to normal within 2 weeks.

My original intent was to see if anyone was opting out of routine exams and screenings, such as gyn, urology, colorectal, skin cancer and so on.

If one has a long term chronic illness and is already suffering with NO cure what is the advantage of routine exams?

 

[Pan]

Suicide rates for men our age are terrible and indicative of society's increasingly uncaring nature. Which is mostly due to politicians serving corporations rather than people. With financial inequality as it is, the US health system, UK austerity, surveillance capitalism, the rise of the 'populist' right and so on, it won't get any better. Multinationals asset strip entire countries, aided by politicians, and put little back in. $20-30 trillion offshore.

While governments are ignoring this and instead demonizing and attacking the sick, poor, disadvantaged and disabled, they encourage society itself to violence. Either in desperation at our own hand, or by those who bully and oppress in imitation.

Critical thinking isn't taught for a reason, most believe in the meritocracy myth and try to climb a ladder that ends one rung above where they started. Meanwhile, the media ignore the big picture and instead divide people further with identity politics and propaganda.

Look at the supposed democracies: Trump, May / Johnson, Macron, Putin, Xi. The world won't become more caring anytime soon, productivity and profit only. No progress, just different statistics.

Its illustrated by the experiences on this site. Yeah, lets reduce suicide, without actually addressing the reasons to ctb. Housing, welfare, employment, divorce & children, bullying, violence, poverty. Mental health awareness is fine in theory, but stigma, discrimination and what-is-expected-of-men are the same as they ever were. Which is why men don't talk about it, which is why men walk away from their children, which is why so many men of our age give up and ctb.

You said it and it is frightening . As a gender we have been marginalized and automatically identified as "hindrances to progress".

 

[Rushon]

I am almost 60 years old so I do fit in this demographic. I would like to say that I absolutely agree with having a continued thread for people 55+ as we have issues that are situational to our age. I would like to share a little of my story for the people that do not know anything about me.
I have been living with my girlfriend for the past 7 years, 2 years ago I was told I had prostate cancer. A shock but life did not stop. I had surgery to remove my prostate July 2017 and everything seemed fine.
Last December 26 my girlfriend had heart value surgery and she was in and out of the hospital for a month. I took care of her every step of the way. I talked to every doctor, scheduled every appointment, etc.
This past April I was told my PSA was climbing again, and by the summer they said my cancer was back. So in August I started hormone therapy and in late Aug I started 40 straight days of radiation. Needless to say the treatment caused me to miss almost the 2nd half of 2109 and my income fell off hard. My GF started complaining about the money at first, then it got worse, she started screaming at me, called me a worthless piece of shit, even slapped me a few times. She kicked me out after I had taken such good care of her. So now I am living with my 80 year old mom that sleeps all the time and I am so depressed and hopeless.

This Christmas is killing me. I miss my GF, my dogs, my way of life. I know I said this in another post but its true, I miss my life!

I think people my age suffer age discrimination in jobs which leads to financial issues. but I feel that I have lost everything.

Just watched City of Angels, what I wouldn't give to have everything back.

 

[Pan]

Nice to meet you, LaBrava. Thanks for responding. Your post is totally relatable.
I feel badly for today's youth as well, as they are a generation out of context. They don't really seem to belong to the world or the world to them, being focused on digital distractions and consumerism. And of course this isn't a declaration against a whole generation, but the people with whom I have interacted view the world almost entirely through the "I" perspective without regard to family, community, etc. They don't know what they have missed. How exactly we failed them, I'm not sure, but clearly it is the older generations' responsibility to actually raise their children.

Maybe money is the root of all kinds of evil afterall.

I miss thought-provoking conversations. We talk about actors rather than plot intricacies. Appearance and branding reign.

I'm ranting tangentially. Sorry.

You are not ranting, friend you speak the truth

 

[LaBrava]

I am almost 60 years old so I do fit in this demographic. I would like to say that I absolutely agree with having a continued thread for people 55+ as we have issues that are situational to our age. I would like to share a little of my story for the people that do not know anything about me.
I have been living with my girlfriend for the past 7 years, 2 years ago I was told I had prostate cancer. A shock but life did not stop. I had surgery to remove my prostate July 2017 and everything seemed fine.
Last December 26 my girlfriend had heart value surgery and she was in and out of the hospital for a month. I took care of her every step of the way. I talked to every doctor, scheduled every appointment, etc.
This past April I was told my PSA was climbing again, and by the summer they said my cancer was back. So in August I started hormone therapy and in late Aug I started 40 straight days of radiation. Needless to say the treatment caused me to miss almost the 2nd half of 2109 and my income fell off hard. My GF started complaining about the money at first, then it got worse, she started screaming at me, called me a worthless piece of shit, even slapped me a few times. She kicked me out after I had taken such good care of her. So now I am living with my 80 year old mom that sleeps all the time and I am so depressed and hopeless.

This Christmas is killing me. I miss my GF, my dogs, my way of life. I know I said this in another post but its true, I miss my life!

I think people my age suffer age discrimination in jobs which leads to financial issues. but I feel that I have lost everything.

Just watched City of Angels, what I wouldn't give to have everything back.

Sorry hear that life has treated you like this, that's really rough.

Although I'm still not technically quite in this threads age range and may never get there I'm glad to see it lives on.

 

[LivingToLong]

I think people my age suffer age discrimination in jobs which leads to financial issues.

You're 100% right there. And when you consider that retirement ages are increasing in some countries, it just makes any gap even more difficult to bridge financially.

I feel blindsided by age discrimination in that I'm not overtly aware of its presence. I suspect I've been the victim of it but what can one do? It certainly adds to the helplessness I'm feeling.

 

[Cleopatra123]

My husband was on Avodart for years and then it started affecting his memory. We thought he had the beginning of dementia. We took him off of it and he was back to normal within 2 weeks.

My original intent was to see if anyone was opting out of routine exams and screenings, such as gyn, urology, colorectal, skin cancer and so on.

I was suicidal in my 30s, got past it, went on.

A few years ago, my daughter died. I was already several years into disability, which is getting much, much worse. I'm pretty close to nursing home admission.

So yeah, stuff now is a helluva lot worse than when I was suicidal before. There is literally no hope as my body is broken beyond repair.

I can't even fantasize about what might be, as I literally can't do much of anything anymore. When the brain fog hits, I can't even use my computer very well (not that I could *ever* type!)

Am in the same condition, living too long with a chronic condition. Lately, I've been having exacerbations so bad I couldn't even write here, like all of life has ended but I'm still here miserably uncomfortable, in financial mess. I came here to find a method to cbt, but I got so much worse, I don't have the ability to obtain the methods or complete the task. Body broken, nowhere to go, continual challenges, a schizophrenic son I've been trying to help to no avail. I'd rather be dead than go to a nursing home, I'd rather be dead all around. An old nurse, reliving the past in memory, never suicidal before, can tell you from personal experience the US health system stinks, the richest country in the world ranks worldwide 24th. SO>>>>>>what's to do about the situation before we have to suffer more? Any ideas?

Subcutaneous chips with GPS, "Vital Statistics", and monetary credits for purchases.

Subcutaneous chips with GPS, "Vital Statistics", and monetary credits for purchases.

I've heard about the coming of subcutaneous chips, in Christian prophesy, it signifies the coming of Satan. The faithful are supposed to reject the chips. Am too old and confined to worry about it, I don't even have a cell, lol.

 

[Pan]

I live with a chronic condition too. It's called LIFE.