Pointlessness of living another day.

[thisiswhoiam-]

There's no point in writing anything, but I still do. There's no point in doing anything. I'm blindsided from every direction. Since I have health problems, i need to spend money on it. When i spend money on it, i can't make more money, since i only have one way of doing it that requires capital. In the end I can't fix my endless health problems, can't pay my taxes, can't make more money, can't buy drugs for my addiction and i'm stuck in a loop of being broke in pain and spiraling to hell.
There's just no point in continuing this any longer. All I will witness is more and more unbearable pain, nothing will change for the better. I'm tired of this shit. I have no plan for tomorrow because there is no tomorrow and wasn't any for a long time.
I wish I could at least lose all my feelings, i don't need them anymore. And the pain doesn't change anything at all.

 

[FuneralCry]

Feeling trapped in this world certainly can be torture and it's very much understandable wishing to be free from this futile and endless cycle of suffering, it sounds so awful what you have to endure. I really hate how there is no straightforward way to finally exit this hellish world.