hopelessghost
disabled depressed pinup
- Jan 18, 2026
- 33
Things are, from an outside perspective, working out for me. I'm in a loving relationship, have saved up a considerable amount of money for moving out with my partner, got a better job (I'll start tomorrow), I'm talking again with my sister that i was no contact with for three years. Everything I wished for.
Still, I want to die. There's something inherently broken inside of me and every day when I have to make choices, control everything, keep a routine etc I just think about ctb
Going out of the house alone makes me panic completely, I feel so alone and have essentially no friends, I'm in phisycal pain 100% of the time and I have to make MAJOR life decisions on the next two weeks. Making decisions and changing things in my life is so hard because of autism and past trauma.
I can't tell anyone irl that I'm sick in the head again or things will be even worse. What would you do?
Still, I want to die. There's something inherently broken inside of me and every day when I have to make choices, control everything, keep a routine etc I just think about ctb
Going out of the house alone makes me panic completely, I feel so alone and have essentially no friends, I'm in phisycal pain 100% of the time and I have to make MAJOR life decisions on the next two weeks. Making decisions and changing things in my life is so hard because of autism and past trauma.
I can't tell anyone irl that I'm sick in the head again or things will be even worse. What would you do?
