Help Plan on ending it this week, have questions. (SN)

[noctiva]

Yeah not to mentions all the aquarium stuff to test it too! Wish the pet shop would just sell N instead that would be SO much easier.

I refuse to test my SN any other way than drinking it! (Not true I actually ran a test, turned blueish and was satisfied with that)
Also, I will shake mine, in a 50 ml autoclaved Eppendorf tube, weighed on a precision scale. So we also need to add those to the shopping list. At this rate SN will be more expensive than N from A :P

 

[MeltingHeart]

I refuse to test my SN any other way than drinking it! (Not true I actually ran a test, turned blueish and was satisfied with that)
Also, I will shake mine, in a 50 ml autoclaved Eppendorf tube, weighed on a precision scale. So we also need to add those to the shopping list. At this rate SN will be more expensive than N from A :P

Lol. How did u tests yrs may I ask?

 

[noctiva]

Lol. How did u tests yrs may I ask?

I filled it in 00 capsules, it's about 0.7-0.8 g of SN, I calculated. I just took one. I thought, what's the worst thing that could happen? It might kill me, sure.. but that is kinda the point why I bought it. Within ~25 minutes I started to feel slightly dizzy and headachy, my skin around my cuticles/ nails whatever it's called turned grey-ish/blue and my lips as well. Nothing happened otherwise though. It obviously didn't kill me, my ears were fine and my vision was okay too, such as it is.
I will say: This is a very dumb idea to do, I would not recommend it. But I have enough trust in its quality now that if I take 10g in capsules and drink 15-20 g in water, that I will be out. I want to take the capsules in addition to ensure a continued release after drinking it. This is most likely total overkill, no pun intended, but I just like the idea. This might change, depending on the day, I have enough capsules to only take capsules, I have enough powder to not need to take capsules. But I'd like to have both so I can decide what I like later on.
I am storing my capsules dry, dark and cold on silica (no direct contact, just to remove the humidity in the air tight sealed container), just thought I'd add that in case someone fills them and doesn't keep them stored right, they will disintegrate otherwise.

 

[LMLN]

Oh my goodness! Those symptoms just from 0.8 grams. That's reassuring then if the dosage is 20 grams.

 

[noctiva]

Well, some people have died from just 2 g, according to published case studies online, so it's not particularly unexpected. With the 15/ 20/ 25 g we are taking a massive overdose. LDLO for SN for a 65 kg person is 4.6 g according to google. I weigh less than that.
I did not black out, I did not get the 'ringing in the ears' or anything like it. Just enough to believe myself that I do have a certain amount if methemoglobin resulting from the SN intake.
I myself have 99.5% pure reagent grade SN (very old, opened in 2002, which is why I wanted to test it).

 

[Moonicide]

What if you PM someone reliable on this forum and they can send the letters to your friends after you ctb. If you have your friends email addresses, text / scanned documents could be forwarded. I understand this is risky though. I think it will help them accept your choice and cope better dealing with the aftermath if you leave something behind for them. You sound sweet though. I hope you find your happiness

I would really like that. But I don't know anyone here and if I can trust them... I'm not even sure if anyone would offer to help as it is a very heavy thing to do, you know?

 

[SuperSid]

I can offer but I understand the trust thing as well. It's still better than nothing to follow through with one method of relaying information to them to give them peace of mind. If you find a new way we have not mentioned already, that's even better. Hope it can happen. And you can rest if that is what you choose.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I filled it in 00 capsules, it's about 0.7-0.8 g of SN, I calculated. I just took one. I thought, what's the worst thing that could happen? It might kill me, sure.. but that is kinda the point why I bought it. Within ~25 minutes I started to feel slightly dizzy and headachy, my skin around my cuticles/ nails whatever it's called turned grey-ish/blue and my lips as well. Nothing happened otherwise though. It obviously didn't kill me, my ears were fine and my vision was okay too, such as it is.
I will say: This is a very dumb idea to do, I would not recommend it. But I have enough trust in its quality now that if I take 10g in capsules and drink 15-20 g in water, that I will be out. I want to take the capsules in addition to ensure a continued release after drinking it. This is most likely total overkill, no pun intended, but I just like the idea. This might change, depending on the day, I have enough capsules to only take capsules, I have enough powder to not need to take capsules. But I'd like to have both so I can decide what I like later on.
I am storing my capsules dry, dark and cold on silica (no direct contact, just to remove the humidity in the air tight sealed container), just thought I'd add that in case someone fills them and doesn't keep them stored right, they will disintegrate otherwise.

kinda surprising (worrying?) that you got a headache with such a small amount- although in the grand scheme of things having even a really bad headache for say 20mins during last moments is preferable to me than proceeding with life in the long term. thnks for the feedback.

Well, some people have died from just 2 g, according to published case studies online, so it's not particularly unexpected. With the 15/ 20/ 25 g we are taking a massive overdose. LDLO for SN for a 65 kg person is 4.6 g according to google. I weigh less than that.
I did not black out, I did not get the 'ringing in the ears' or anything like it. Just enough to believe myself that I do have a certain amount if methemoglobin resulting from the SN intake.
I myself have 99.5% pure reagent grade SN (very old, opened in 2002, which is why I wanted to test it).

bet yr heart was racing too? I think i got that from a tiny speck-but could have been weird nerves tbh

 

[noctiva]

kinda surprising (worrying?) that you got a headache with such a small amount- although in the grand scheme of things having even a really bad headache for say 20mins during last moments is preferable to me than proceeding with life in the long term. thnks for the feedback.

bet yr heart was racing too? I think i got that from a tiny speck-but could have been weird nerves tbh

I didn't say anything on the heart because I cannot trust what I was feeling at that point to be honest. I would say my heart was faster, but as you said, that could be nerves. I didn't have massive tachycardia, that is for sure.
I'm not surprised I got a headache to be honest, 0.7-0.8g should be enough to lead to an effect, seeing that some people have died from 2 grams, and that the LDlo for my weight is less than 4.6 g. So I took 5.7 - 6.5 times less than the LDlo (4.6/0.7=6.5; 4.6/0.8=5.7).
By taking 20g/ 30g we take a deliberate overdose to ensure death, and death that is fast and reliable. Not the amount for 'just barely made it to the status of dead', but definitely dead dead, and fast.

EDIT: I ran the test for the quality assessment of my old SN, but I also needed to take it to practice, so I know, when the day comes, that I can do it. I have run an elaborate meto test, I've taken the milk of magnesia, and I've tried the SN pill and, for taste a few grains on my tongue. I believe practice makes perfect, and I don't want anything to interfere on the day it happens. Not any stupid mental blocks a la 'But what if I take this pill and ...' then I at least have the peace of mind knowing that I've done it all before, I just need to do it again.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I didn't say anything on the heart because I cannot trust what I was feeling at that point to be honest. I would say my heart was faster, but as you said, that could be nerves. I didn't have massive tachycardia, that is for sure.
I'm not surprised I got a headache to be honest, 0.7-0.8g should be enough to lead to an effect, seeing that some people have died from 2 grams, and that the LDlo for my weight is less than 4.6 g. So I took 5.7 - 6.5 times less than the LDlo (4.6/0.7=6.5; 4.6/0.8=5.7).
By taking 20g/ 30g we take a deliberate overdose to ensure death, and death that is fast and reliable. Not the amount for 'just barely made it to the status of dead', but definitely dead dead, and fast.

I get ya, what's the lo bit in LDlo? (LD being lethal dose I presume), you seem like yr very good/quick at maths/ calculations! i'm around 57kg (I guess around 125lb) what would my minimum lethal dose be?

 

[Meant2Die]

I filled it in 00 capsules, it's about 0.7-0.8 g of SN, I calculated. I just took one.

Holy crap you are hardcore!

I want to take the capsules in addition to ensure a continued release after drinking it.

This is something I've thought about a lot too. I might PM you some thoughts/Qs I had about it.

Btw you guys are hilarious. The cement mixer gave me a nice chuckle

 

[noctiva]

LDlo is the Lethal Dose low, it can be measured in humans and animals as far as I know. LD50 on the other hand is the lethal dose where 50% of the population have died after exposure to a certain concentration. But we don't test LD50 in humans, because someone would have an issue to test until 50% of the human test population is dead... So we just estimate it as the 'lowest dosage causing death' or LDlo.

So wiki gives me:
Sodium nitrite is weakly toxic. The LD50 in rats is 180 mg/kg and its human LDLo is 71 mg/kg, meaning a 65 kg person would likely have to consume at least 4.6 g to result in death.

So if you calculate with 57kg, you'd get 57kg*71mg/kg= 4047mg, which equates 4.047g of SN. This is the lowest dosage causing death, so not a sure amount to take. Just to compare it to the LD50 in rats, let's check that: 57kg*180mg/kg= 10260mg which equates 10.260g. Which is a huge difference (but rat does not equate human!). That's why, to be sure we just run with large amounts.

EDIT: I just want to add, if you compare the wiki numbers for example with this case report: https://www.hindawi.com/journals/criem/2016/9013816/
They say: The estimated lethal dose of sodium nitrite in adults is approximately 2.6 g [5]; however, a case of a patient surviving after ingesting 6 g sodium nitrite has been reported [6].
Which, comparing the numbers 2.6 g as estimated lethal dose in human adults vs the 4.6 g for a 65kg person, that is a huge difference as well. As the numbers differ so vastly, it does make sense to run with a deliberate high dose.

 

[Morphosis]

So if you calculate with 57kg, you'd get 57kg*71mg/kg= 4047mg, which equates 4.047g of SN. This is the lowest dosage causing death, so not a sure amount to take. Just to compare it to the LD50 in rats, let's check that: 57kg*180mg/kg= 10260mg which equates 10.260g. Which is a huge difference (but rat does not equate human!). That's why, to be sure we just run with large amounts.

Possibly to do with their lower overall weight to begin with compared to amount needed for toxicity?
You're not going to get a 57kg rat. Or I wouldn't like to meet one anyway.
Congrats on the calculations, you've done an amazing amount of research and I agree it makes sense to go overboard with the dosage just to make sure.

 

[noctiva]

Possibly to do with their lower overall weight to begin with compared to amount needed for toxicity?
You're not going to get a 57kg rat. Or I wouldn't like to meet one anyway.
Congrats on the calculations, you've done an amazing amount of research and I agree it makes sense to go overboard with the dosage just to make sure.

I work with rats, the biggest ones we had were deliberatly bred for obesity and just over 1 kg. So no, you won't find a 57 kg rat. :)
But the point is, that the differences between species vary, even if relatively closely related. For example when putting down rats, we use 100mg/kg pentobarbital, when putting down mice, it's 120mg/kg. Mice just seem to be a bit more 'hardy' than rats when it comes to barbiturates.
That's why I think it makes sense to look at the numbers for humans through the few case studies published to estimate where we're actually at. This is being reflected in the gradual increase in the numbers in the PPH. It's not, as some people claim, that PN has no idea what he is doing, but rather that due to new case reports being published, we just know more now.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I didn't say anything on the heart because I cannot trust what I was feeling at that point to be honest. I would say my heart was faster, but as you said, that could be nerves. I didn't have massive tachycardia, that is for sure.
I'm not surprised I got a headache to be honest, 0.7-0.8g should be enough to lead to an effect, seeing that some people have died from 2 grams, and that the LDlo for my weight is less than 4.6 g. So I took 5.7 - 6.5 times less than the LDlo (4.6/0.7=6.5; 4.6/0.8=5.7).
By taking 20g/ 30g we take a deliberate overdose to ensure death, and death that is fast and reliable. Not the amount for 'just barely made it to the status of dead', but definitely dead dead, and fast.

EDIT: I ran the test for the quality assessment of my old SN, but I also needed to take it to practice, so I know, when the day comes, that I can do it. I have run an elaborate meto test, I've taken the milk of magnesia, and I've tried the SN pill and, for taste a few grains on my tongue. I believe practice makes perfect, and I don't want anything to interfere on the day it happens. Not any stupid mental blocks a la 'But what if I take this pill and ...' then I at least have the peace of mind knowing that I've done it all before, I just need to do it again.

So organised/ well planned!

 

[TowerUpright]

What is the website you are using for conversion?

I don't claim to know precisely how much SN would a tablespoon provide (esp, US since Im in the US), but here is what I do know:

- 1 US Tablespoon is marked as 15g for dry contents (generally speaking) , 1 US teaspoon = 5g (I always thought of doing 1TB + 2x TS of SN to equal 25g)
- This site someone had found shows weight per tablespoon and teaspoon of ground SN (see pics below)
1 tablespoon = 17.76g
1 teaspoon =5.92g (not sure if those are heaping or not, but prob not)
View attachment 19871View attachment 19872

- In this instructional video from the Nov2019 Pph Dr. N measures out 25g of SN on a scale and it looks a lot more than I anticipated. His scale maxes out at 20g, so he first does that (which is the amount you see in the small cup which is on the scale) then he moves that over to the big beaker and then he measures out an additional 5g and adds it into the big beaker (which is the 2nd pic)

I don't know if this helps at all, but for me it would to visually see it.
View attachment 19873View attachment 19874

 

[Meant2Die]

What is the website you are using for conversion?

The website is hyperlinked to the words " This site" in that post :) You must have missed it. But thats okay, Its https://www.aqua-calc.com/calculate/volume-to-weight

 

[Moonicide]

Almost done with all my goodbye letters. Finally wrote one out to my mother and sealed it in an envelope... Unfortunately, she will be the one finding my body. Which breaks my heart, but in the end I'd want it to be her instead of someone else. Just gets to me how nonchalant I am over here writing these letters and listening to soothing background music.

 

[Shinbu]

I'm trying to get meto without a prescription through a Canadian online pharmacy. This isn't a smart idea is it?. I can get punished for it?. 60 pills is the lowest quantity I can get on that site, and the site says no prescription required. Im from the US. Damn what should I do?. Give up on this idea, or risk getting in trouble?.

 

[Time]

I'm trying to get meto without a prescription through a Canadian online pharmacy. This isn't a smart idea is it?. I can get punished for it?. 60 pills is the lowest quantity I can get on that site, and the site says no prescription required. Im from the US. Damn what should I do?. Give up on this idea, or risk getting in trouble?.

I'm not sure but I got mine without getting in any trouble. Things got a little sketchy during the shipping process but that seems to not be too uncommon when ordering this stuff.

There are other sites. I used a very popular one & there is another that seems to be popular among the SS community. I could PM you the information... If only you had more than 4 posts (minimum 5 required to PM)...

 

[Moonicide]

I'm sad. I've been hiding away from people as I plan to make my exit and I decided to talk to a friend today... One of the first things they said was they had missed me. That shit is hard. But I can't keep living for others anymore.

I'm not sure but I got mine without getting in any trouble. Things got a little sketchy during the shipping process but that seems to not be too uncommon when ordering this stuff.

There are other sites. I used a very popular one & there is another that seems to be popular among the SS community. I could PM you the information... If only you had more than 4 posts (minimum 5 required to PM)...

Is it okay to DM you? Thought I'd ask instead of intruding.

 

[Time]

I'm sad. I've been hiding away from people as I plan to make my exit and I decided to talk to a friend today... One of the first things they said was they had missed me. That shit is hard. But I can't keep living for others anymore.


Is it okay to DM you? Thought I'd ask instead of intruding.

Yeah, sure.

 

[Moonicide]

I was able to find and order Meto! I might postpone my ctb due to this as it might make my exit much more peaceful.
Does Meto really make a huge difference?

 

[Time]

That's excellent, Moonicide!
(So you can just ignore my long PM detailing how to get it then. )

I might postpone my ctb due to this as it might make my exit much more peaceful.

Yeah, I know. I did the same. Now I have to wait a lot longer than I originally thought. At least now I think that I have a better chance @ a smoother exit, so...

Does Meto really make a huge difference?

I don't know for sure but from what I've gathered, since the SN needs to stay in your stomach so that it can be absorbed, the antiemetics (Meto) helps keep you from throwing it up. But I suggest that you do your own research in order to get the best understanding of this method.

 

[Passersby]

That's excellent, Moonicide!
(So you can just ignore my long PM detailing how to get it then. )

Yeah, I know. I did the same. Now I have to wait a lot longer than I originally thought. At least now I think that I have a better chance @ a smoother exit, so...

I don't know for sure but from what I've gathered, since the SN needs to stay in your stomach so that it can be absorbed, the antiemetics (Meto) helps keep you from throwing it up. But I suggest that you do your own research in order to get the best understanding of this method.

Hello Time,
Was wondering if you could help me with getting the meto? I already have sn and that is my next step. Could you pm me and let me know where is the best and safest place to get it? Would really appreciate it. Also would it just be possible to go into like a cvs store and buy whatever they had instead?
Hi moonicide, glad it's working out for you and that you now have your supplies. Hopefully you won't have to ctb though. I will soon have the supplies for 2 methods and then it time to decide which one to go with or maybe both to be sure. I was also considering that.