Help People with chronic illnesses, how on Earth do you hold down jobs??

[FTL.Wanderer]

I tried to clean my bathroom yesterday, after a few times bending over and up and down with my stupid head spinning condition and post jump back injury I felt like I was dying. Room tilting, sweating, pain in my bones, needed to make like 4 breaks to even finish, my parents calling me lazy the whole time. I tried to buy groceries and I keep getting woozy and disoriented and walking into glass panes like Im on drugs or something.

But I need this job! I need to get away from my toxic family. But my boss wont care that Im in pain, Im supposed to do my job, but how can I do my job when it makes me too sick to function? My mother is in pain everyday from an autoimmune condition and she just slaps a morphine patch on her arm like its nothing and works all day, I dont get it?? How do you do this? Am I just weak or something?

Maybe I need my opiates habit back...
Im tired of people telling me Im not trying!

I've had a car-related back injury since ~ 2014. I know what you mean. Everyone else sees you and just assumes you can labor for them. You look whole. And they don't care that you're in pain. They just want their work done. And since there are millions of other citizens who make the gov money (taxes...), they don't care about you, either. You're like a lame workhorse. And I gave up on the idea to seek help from the gov (disability...).

I spend most of my time working from home. It pays poorly, but I can take breaks more often... What kind of environment do you work in?

Just this morning, for the first time, I looked up legal CBT/THC dispensaries in my state. My pain is so severe, lately it's a chief driver of suicide for me. I bought organic "certified" CBT on Ebay. Did absolutely nothing for me no matter how much I took. I used to take ~ 16 200mg Ibuprofen/day 'til over Thanksgiving my stomach gave out. Luckily, giving up ALL NSAID's has gotten my stomach back. Sorry for so much detail...

What's worked for YOU? What have you tried?

 

[BridgeJumper]

I've had a car-related back injury since ~ 2014. I know what you mean. Everyone else sees you and just assumes you can labor for them. You look whole. And they don't care that you're in pain. They just want their work done. And since there are millions of other citizens who make the gov money (taxes...), they don't care about you, either. You're like a lame workhorse. And I gave up on the idea to seek help from the gov (disability...).

I spend most of my time working from home. It pays poorly, but I can take breaks more often... What kind of environment do you work in?

Just this morning, for the first time, I looked up legal CBT/THC dispensaries in my state. My pain is so severe, lately it's a chief driver of suicide for me. I bought organic "certified" CBT on Ebay. Did absolutely nothing for me no matter how much I took. I used to take ~ 16 200mg Ibuprofen/day 'til over Thanksgiving my stomach gave out. Luckily, giving up ALL NSAID's has gotten my stomach back. Sorry for so much detail...

What's worked for YOU? What have you tried?

Nothing. Im now an opiate addict and nsaids were always placebo to me. Psych meds dont control my depression, they just give me shakes and panic attacks. Im hooked on opiates and now EVERYTHING quit working, cbd and valium or xanax used to calm me but now I need to snort or Im in agonizing pain, no other way to not be in pain...My blood quit clotting, Im loosing weight, I have nothing. Lost all my friends, they treat me like scum because Im a junkie The solution was diagnose and try to fix my pain, but nah, they just sent me away. So I decided, remove pain, illegal pain remover....

I didnt even manage to get any job, yet. Just asked theoretically. Im an invalid, my vertigo is so bad I needed to get crutches cause I hyperextended my foot and almost smashed my head open...
Landed a big art commission but it all fell apart due to me being an addict, now back to the square one.
Under the bridge with rope every few weeks. This story has no happy ending..

 

[TooConscious]

Nothing. Im now an opiate addict and nsaids were always placebo to me. Psych meds dont control my depression, they just give me shakes and panic attacks. Im hooked on opiates and now EVERYTHING quit working, cbd and valium or xanax used to calm me but now I need to snort or Im in agonizing pain, no other way to not be in pain...My blood quit clotting, Im loosing weight, I have nothing. Lost all my friends, they treat me like scum because Im a junkie The solution was diagnose and try to fix my pain, but nah, they just sent me away. So I decided, remove pain, illegal pain remover....

I didnt even manage to get any job, yet. Just asked theoretically. Im an invalid, my vertigo is so bad I needed to get crutches cause I hyperextended my foot and almost smashed my head open...
Landed a big art commission but it all fell apart due to me being an addict, now back to the square one.
Under the bridge with rope every few weeks. This story has no happy ending..

I hope your situation gets better. You sound like you have talent or at least interesting aspects that people are drawn to but if people have disowned you for your problems that's on them they aren't real people and your free to find a new network. Unless you stole from them or broke their trust effecting their lives directly no excuse to cut someone off.
Just replied as I am like you crippled with a history of addiction but have no talents I only got by hod carrying my whole life and even some good people like me despite my flaws. Don't let them get you down.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Nothing. Im now an opiate addict and nsaids were always placebo to me. Psych meds dont control my depression, they just give me shakes and panic attacks. Im hooked on opiates and now EVERYTHING quit working, cbd and valium or xanax used to calm me but now I need to snort or Im in agonizing pain, no other way to not be in pain...My blood quit clotting, Im loosing weight, I have nothing. Lost all my friends, they treat me like scum because Im a junkie The solution was diagnose and try to fix my pain, but nah, they just sent me away. So I decided, remove pain, illegal pain remover....

I didnt even manage to get any job, yet. Just asked theoretically. Im an invalid, my vertigo is so bad I needed to get crutches cause I hyperextended my foot and almost smashed my head open...
Landed a big art commission but it all fell apart due to me being an addict, now back to the square one.
Under the bridge with rope every few weeks. This story has no happy ending..

I'm really, really sorry. I wish I had something helpful to offer. I'm living with pain, too, but yours sounds like it's at a whole different level. :(

I empathize with your frustration over how people (including medical professionals) treat others dealing with chronic pain. It's like the way people who aren't suffering from great depression treat those who are--alienate, ignore, stigmatize. We're left on our own to patch together whatever we can.

I also agree with what you're sharing--that a lot of us turn to things we become addicted to because there's no effective relief from pain. If the standard therapies worked (for us), we'd be overjoyed to use them.

So even medical-grade cannabis didn't work? Did you try both CBD & THC? Together? I read on a medical research website that the two together seem to be more effective than either alone. And that the indica strain in clinical tests seems to provide more relief... I haven't tried yet. I bought a TENS unit (mail order) today and hope it'll take the edge off. Have you tried TENS?

If you ever just want to vent, I'm happy to listen. Really sorry you're hurting.

 

[finalexit]

I have no idea. Been barely hanging on for too long.