NSFW How do people get through the pain of a job?

[spacefreightergirl]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post it on but I'm starting to feel uneasy again. My day was mostly going well until I remembered again that I really need to find a job at some point.

To pay my rent and some medical expenses I had to break no contact with my family after a year which was insanely embarrassing and awkward in itself. I didn't ask for money but I was honestly praying (and I'm ashamed of it) that they would get the hint that I was in a very bad financial situation, so I've been living off of my mother's money again for a few weeks now. I mostly feel guilty for it, I hate depending on her out of all people.

Honestly if I was prettier (and if I found it easier to talk to people when I don't want to) I'd try prostitution, but I can't imagine someone paying to spend any time with me. I don't really have it in me to try online either, I tried already and it felt exhaustingly annoying, and I haven't had the energy to make myself look pretty for strangers in a really long time. I can't really afford makeup anyway.

I'm an university drop out so all I can do is customer service jobs but they drain me. I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel like I hate jobs a lot more than the average person, either that or I don't understand how people haven't shot themselves en masse by now.

Spoiler: Small rant + out of pocket mention of SA

I understand that the average person doesn't like their job but I genuinely feel like I want to throw myself out of the window whenever I was at work, whenever I'd see a customer come in it'd genuinely ruin my mood. I really don't like attending people and I specially don't like having to fake a smile or answering questions – I really fucking hate answering dumb questions too. (Side note: What's the deal with people that ask "What do you have"? What kind of question is that?) The closest I was to CTB was always after a shift, I either felt like I could not hold onto life or like I hated people too much to deal with anyone anymore. I've been raped before and there's been times at work where I genuinely thought to myself "I'd rather be raped right now".

I guess it doesn't help that it's always minimum wage. I don't get how I'm supposed to be even mildly satisfied with a job that barely covers my rent and groceries. Yes, that is technically better than no job at all and being homeless, but I think I have the right to want to drink down a bottle of bleach anyway.

For anyone who's read this this far here's a fun fact: The word for "to work" in a lot of romance languages (for example, "trabajar" in spanish) comes from a verb from vulgar latin, "tripaliare", supposed to refer to work as torture as it was a reference to "tripalarium", the name of an old torture device.

 

[xXiloveyouXx]

well historically it's been because there's been something more than just survival motivating people to endure it, usually that's taking care of a family who relies on them, which is less feasible to even have nowadays. Some other kind of higher goal could work just as well, something you want to accomplish and work is just the stepping stone. But work for its own sake? Not worth it.

 

[whywhywhy]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post it on but I'm starting to feel uneasy again. My day was mostly going well until I remembered again that I really need to find a job at some point.

To pay my rent and some medical expenses I had to break no contact with my family after a year which was insanely embarrassing and awkward in itself. I didn't ask for money but I was honestly praying (and I'm ashamed of it) that they would get the hint that I was in a very bad financial situation, so I've been living off of my mother's money again for a few weeks now. I mostly feel guilty for it, I hate depending on her out of all people.

Honestly if I was prettier (and if I found it easier to talk to people when I don't want to) I'd try prostitution, but I can't imagine someone paying to spend any time with me. I don't really have it in me to try online either, I tried already and it felt exhaustingly annoying, and I haven't had the energy to make myself look pretty for strangers in a really long time. I can't really afford makeup anyway.

I'm an university drop out so all I can do is customer service jobs but they drain me. I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel like I hate jobs a lot more than the average person, either that or I don't understand how people haven't shot themselves en masse by now.

Spoiler: Small rant + out of pocket mention of SA

I understand that the average person doesn't like their job but I genuinely feel like I want to throw myself out of the window whenever I was at work, whenever I'd see a customer come in it'd genuinely ruin my mood. I really don't like attending people and I specially don't like having to fake a smile or answering questions – I really fucking hate answering dumb questions too. (Side note: What's the deal with people that ask "What do you have"? What kind of question is that?) The closest I was to CTB was always after a shift, I either felt like I could not hold onto life or like I hated people too much to deal with anyone anymore. I've been raped before and there's been times at work where I genuinely thought to myself "I'd rather be raped right now".

I guess it doesn't help that it's always minimum wage. I don't get how I'm supposed to be even mildly satisfied with a job that barely covers my rent and groceries. Yes, that is technically better than no job at all and being homeless, but I think I have the right to want to drink down a bottle of bleach anyway.

For anyone who's read this this far here's a fun fact: The word for "to work" in a lot of romance languages (for example, "trabajar" in spanish) comes from a verb from vulgar latin, "tripaliare", supposed to refer to work as torture as it was a reference to "tripalarium", the name of an old torture device.

If you are considering prostitution I'd imagine waiter or bartender is much better. There are also a lot of decent jobs that dont require a college degree maybe a course but you will have to choose something that you are willing to be somewhat passionate about. A lot of 9 to 5 office jobs arent that bad specially if you can work from home. If you are decent at it you dont even have to spend the full time working but its mostly programming jobs

 

[Dingo23]

I work in a measly paid dead end job. However, for someone in my situation, it was the only option that was left. I work in an electronics factory and do very repetetive manual labor. It is soul draining and I'm doing it for 4 years now. Nothing about it is fun. The worst about it are the human interactions that I sometimes have to go through. Just smalltalk can destroy you mentally. Boomers talking about their retirement (while they know full well that I will never be able to retire). People in similar situations like mine usually spend their hours complaining how bad they have it. After work, you take this nonsense back home and suffer the rest of the day.

I can't imagine how bad it must be to actually have to deal with humans as the main part of your job. Since I understood this a few years ago, I always try to be nice to workers wherever I see them. Cashiers, customer support, cleaning personell. You mentioned that you'd rather be raped than have to deal with the bullshit. From my perspective, you are being raped. You have no choice. You need the money and you have to allow people to abuse your soul, just to keep going. I may not be in your situation but this is exactly how it feels for me every single day.

How do I deal with it? I became competend at my job to the point where people are too afraid to mess with me mentally, for the most part. It's still shitty pay and I still suffer physically. Badly. And of course I want to be dead. I'm just a big coward who can't pull it off. And I guess I got used to being abused as a wire monkey.

I wish I had nice words that could make your situation more bearable but the reality is that life is not nice for people in our position. If you have family, use them. I don't know how old you are but if you can still use them as a pillar of stability, do it. Personally I can't return to my family there was too much abuse.

 

[Codename_Joryu]

There's really not much you can do. Working, especially in today's economy, is just modern day slavery. I don't know a single person who actually enjoys their job, the majority of them are also either on antidepressants or abuse substances. It's just a part of life that everyone participates in, and unless your plan is to kill yourself, the best thing you can do is try to find things that make working actually worth it (hobbies, animals, people, etc.).
One more approach you can take is try to file for a disability check and just receive money from the government each month, but I don't know how the situation looks like on your side, so I recommend doing some research about it.