I do not feel like anything is real anymore, it is like watching a show and not being part of it. Life is complicated and I feel like an observer of my own life.
I cannot see anything as worthwhile and it almost seems like a trial run on life as if my existance is an experiment and the result will be statistics in some research being conducted something humans can't comprehend.
The reason I want to die is that life never seems precious as people say it is, people die everyday and no one knows, cares or understands that it happens. The worst part of humanity is that if something doesn't affect you, you don't care.
Being a human and part of that does not seem like it matters. People choose to ignore the pain of others cause they don't know them.
The people here try to help each other and try to understand because everyone here lives in pain everyday and understand what it is like. There are always people who will never try to care and they make everything worse by pretending.
I spend all my time searching for a better way to live but never yet past the certainty that life is not worthwhile and it would be better to be dead. No matter how I look at it there is no reason to being alive and enduring all the suffering of life.
I don't want to suffer everyday and j don't want to ignore it, so I can't live feeling like things could be better and never seeing it.
Is it so wrong to decide life is not something I can suffer through? I tried asking my family for help and got dismissed, i work full time and when I bring up issues I got dismissed.
I feel like i don't really exist and I am a placeholder for something and have not found out what that is. Everything points to death being the best option but I still look for a better way to live and cannot find it in my 29 years of searching.
Life seems to exist for the sake of it and i am too tired to continue with a fake life that does not seem real, it seems like living in a tutorial for something better that no one can pass. Everyone seems like npc's in a story with no mc.
I want to meet someone with a reason to live to understand what the point in everything is but I feel like all ill get is the most basic primal way of living, procreate to contine the species type answer.
I can only think of dying and an end to everything and death looks like the only thing that can bring be peace.
I have never looked at going to a psychiatrist as beneficial or talking to people I know as worthwhile. Being disregarded by people has made me not care because no one really wants to help even psychiatrist's are in it for money given you need to pay them.
Is there a point to the suffering we feel everyday? Is there a reason to continue living just to die at a later point in life? I can't find answers to these questions.
I cannot see anything as worthwhile and it almost seems like a trial run on life as if my existance is an experiment and the result will be statistics in some research being conducted something humans can't comprehend.
The reason I want to die is that life never seems precious as people say it is, people die everyday and no one knows, cares or understands that it happens. The worst part of humanity is that if something doesn't affect you, you don't care.
Being a human and part of that does not seem like it matters. People choose to ignore the pain of others cause they don't know them.
The people here try to help each other and try to understand because everyone here lives in pain everyday and understand what it is like. There are always people who will never try to care and they make everything worse by pretending.
I spend all my time searching for a better way to live but never yet past the certainty that life is not worthwhile and it would be better to be dead. No matter how I look at it there is no reason to being alive and enduring all the suffering of life.
I don't want to suffer everyday and j don't want to ignore it, so I can't live feeling like things could be better and never seeing it.
Is it so wrong to decide life is not something I can suffer through? I tried asking my family for help and got dismissed, i work full time and when I bring up issues I got dismissed.
I feel like i don't really exist and I am a placeholder for something and have not found out what that is. Everything points to death being the best option but I still look for a better way to live and cannot find it in my 29 years of searching.
Life seems to exist for the sake of it and i am too tired to continue with a fake life that does not seem real, it seems like living in a tutorial for something better that no one can pass. Everyone seems like npc's in a story with no mc.
I want to meet someone with a reason to live to understand what the point in everything is but I feel like all ill get is the most basic primal way of living, procreate to contine the species type answer.
I can only think of dying and an end to everything and death looks like the only thing that can bring be peace.
I have never looked at going to a psychiatrist as beneficial or talking to people I know as worthwhile. Being disregarded by people has made me not care because no one really wants to help even psychiatrist's are in it for money given you need to pay them.
Is there a point to the suffering we feel everyday? Is there a reason to continue living just to die at a later point in life? I can't find answers to these questions.
