Stuck at home, no job, no life, nothing.

[FiryPheonix]

All my life all I wanted to do was live, but from a young age, all I was, was a reject. I was never able to succeed in school, I was never able to progress in my career. I found a community that accepted me and cherished it and held onto it for dear life, but now everyone is growing up and building their futures. People are getting old, I am getting tired. I love my friends so much. And after all this, just when I found a reason to live, just when I started to come out of my shell, everything broke down, I broke. I'm not me anymore, this person that I've become is not me. I am selfish for being suicidal I know, but it hurts. I don't want to be here anymore. I changed, I used to be such a happy and lively kid. I don't want to continue to live as this hollow shell I became. I want to die and be remembered for who I was before the pain, before the trauma and the hurt. I might go to hell for this, I hope God has mercy on my soul, I know his love is endless and I am excited to be with him in his kingdom. I hope on Judgement Day ,even though I have a long list of horrible sins, God will remember who I was before this world changed me and won't judge me for what it turned me into.

 

[tonicer]

Go doesn't judge you for suicide because he knows why you do it. That you made it this far is a sign of strength.

I know how hard it is and that it gets harder with time. I am 43 now and i have barely any strength left but i have to go on just a couple of years longer until my parents die. I just can't go before them.

I truly believe the only thing god hates is when you murder someone else. You weren't asked to be born so you have the right to be unborn if you want to.