Discussion Not even depressed but still think I need to go

[spinningship]

Seriously i'm on antidepressants to fuck and I just had a really good day with a friend and felt happy the whole time and still do but it still just seems like it's all leading to nowhere.

I honestly have so many problems that are just gonna make life shit. I have bad body odor which somehow some ppl aren't completely repelled by, autism so can't socialise well at all, and cptsd so barely developed sense of self. I don't even think they'd let me stack shelves at the shops.

Suicide is just kinda the thing to be done isn't it? Does anyone else kinda not look beyond even a year because it doesn't feel like you'll exist then? It kinda creates a tunnel vision effect where i'm barely connected with how old I am currently because I never expected to still be existing and this is kinda a post game credits you know. Im 19 ffs...

 

[paintedbutterfly676]

That still sounds like depression. Not saying the feelings aren't valid, I get feeling like nothing is going to come from life.

 

[spinningship]

That still sounds like depression. Not saying the feelings aren't valid, I get feeling like nothing is going to come from life.

You're probably right. At the very least i'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

Same here. Not depressed, just see no point in this.
Why don't people just admit that life isn't for everyone before *diagnosing and trying to fix* whoever not wanting to live or not wanting to live in the "normal" way?

edit: I know if I'm depressed or not. I'm not. I have no other obvious symptoms of clinical depression. I wonder how possible it is for me to still get diagnosed and even involuntarily hospitalized if I go to a hospital (or general MH professional) and say that I'm planning on ending this shitshow. It's interesting that I know someone irl that has severe clinical depression but is super pro-life, having a very "healthy and upbeat" attitude towards life in general lol.