RedFruit
Red Fruit.
- Feb 17, 2026
- 101
This past Sunday, I went to my exes house unannounced to talk to him. We've been broken up for a couple of months but still saw each other periodically and we're trying to make things work or so I thought. He told me that he missed me and wanted to see me and he did not answer me for a few days prior to me going there so I thought I would just show up. He told me that he hung out with a woman over the weekend and I confronted him on it being a date to which he told me that it wasn't but he was laughing the entire time he said it so who really knows. He told me he was single and that he could do what he wanted and I guess it's true but I couldn't imagine going on a date right now. I have struggled so much without him in my life already when we took a break in the past and I know that I've never loved somebody as much as Ive loved him. He then told me that that that would be the last time that we would be seeing each other/speaking to each other. I admittedly started talking about how I wanted to kill myself and he ended up calling the police on me which really sucks because now I have a $5000 medical bill that I will be avoiding paying, but I shouldn't have to deal with that. Anyways, I am just so desperate for him to be back into my life, but he has already gotten into a relationship since that incident, it's so painful to me that he could just move on from me after I had a miscarriage with his baby. I know it's been a few months, but it still pains me and he said that it makes him sad sometimes too, but that he just needs to move on, and that I am the source of my own suffering. It doesn't feel like I'm the source of my own suffering. It feels like the suffering has been hoisted upon me and I can't escape. we had a lot of really shitty things happen in our relationship, but I just can't imagine finding somebody else who I genuinely clicked with so much. Someone that I found to be the most attractive person. Somebody that told me they wanted to marry me and told me they wanted to have children with me. It's so hard to go through with catching the bus. What else can I do? All I do is sit in bed and cry and suffer and feel like life is not going to get better. I don't want to suffer, but it doesn't matter what I do. Doesn't matter where I go. I'm always reminded of him and things from our relationship and Just so much BS that I don't know how to live anymore. Has anybody overcome something like this? I know people have but it really feels impossible. How do you mourn somebody that's still alive?
I have a premade noose that just needs to be tied to something. I really want to try ph but also want to hold on to that hope that maybe he will come around to loving me again, but I know I'm stupid.
I have a premade noose that just needs to be tied to something. I really want to try ph but also want to hold on to that hope that maybe he will come around to loving me again, but I know I'm stupid.
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