Well, I had to un-disaster a good chunk of my apartment because my shower broke and I had to have maintenance come in. My muscles are still sore from all the cleaning, lol. It's not fully done yet and I still have a messy bedroom, but it's weird to see how different it looks when it's clean-ish.
I need to try and keep it this way this time. I bought some furniture to be delivered to hopefully make it too comfy to neglect, lol.
Recently, I've been thinking about the long-term consequences of my chosen isolation. Having the maintenance person inside my apartment made me so anxious and awkward. Also, I was in the store the other day and some other shopper started chatting with me casually, and it was like my brain went blank. I've always been a little socially awkward, but it's at a whole other level now. How do I rebuild social skills as an adult? Is it even a possibility? I like my solitude, but I don't want to ruin my ability to be social. I feel like I've stunted myself accidentally.
Regardless, I have a lot of things to do before I need to worry about my social life. My house is still pretty messy, my looks are bad (seeing a surgeon soon.... quite nervous), my health is... not great. I forgot to take my Prozac many days in a row and had a horrible panic attack/dissociative episode last night, so fuck. That's on me.
Every time I take a few steps forward in one part of my life, I feel like I inevitably drop the ball elsewhere. How do people constantly juggle everything so effortlessly? Why am I so bad at being human???
Idk. A win is a win, as they say. Hopefully I can keep this win up for at least a little bit of time.
