Manic episode

[Abandoned Character]

Hypomanic is a better description. Does anyone else experience these pulses of energy and creativity, particularly late at night?

It feels like everything is going to be okay, like all is resolved, I just have to keep moving forward. But in the morning, the depression hits. All motivation is lost, and I want to die, I want it all to disappear.

I lay in bed until mid afternoon, terrified to face the day, feeling like sludge. Yet in these late night states, all of that lack of motivation is completely forgotten and I feel like I become a different person with ambition and hope for the future.

I've taken medication for bipolar type I in the past, but medication scares me. I gained weight, and it didn't really do anything. Maybe the dosage wasn't right. I don't want to permantently shift my psychology in a way that I dislike. If anyone has success stories with medication I would appreciate hearing that.

 

[noname223]

I am bipolar and my personal conclusion is manic episodes are not worth it. Yeah the short term pleasure is great but the insane pain of the depression weighs way more for me. I have found an antipsychotic which can be used as mood stabilizer which barely affects the weight. But I do not want to write the name publicly.

I try to avoid manic episodes as good as possible. I think longterm in many instances.

 

[bellinda]

Kinda angry at myself for this. Somehow, on olanzapine it seems that I was not depressed or manic in a while. But I miss the mania, I miss the rage, the fire and my will to live. I miss loving life. Being the life of the party even where there was no party. Sure, the depression was crippling. But fuck, I get more mania/hypomania than depression. If I miss my dose, give it a few days and I can't sleep because of my energy slowly elevating.