Knife

[darkenmydoorstep]

Found myself running a steak knife across my wrist today. I didn't, someone came in but it felt therapeutic to feel the bumps of the blade. And the control aspect, knowing I could if I wanted.

I've never done anything like that but every day now I just want to feel something. And I have the urge to see the blood too. I love red it's my favourite colour.

I realise this makes me sound completely crazy but I don't care - hell, I'm on the suicide website so if I can't tell you guys, who can I tell eh?

 

[sadone2122]

If you want to self harm, please do it safely. CTB by blood loss via wrists/arms rarely works and it's not a fun way to go. I always buy fresh razors that are sterile, and make sure I keep my arms clean. Infection fucking SUCKS so just be careful. I've been cutting for like 20 years now

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Thank you, I appreciate that comment.x
What drives you, can you describe it?

 

[CloudyNightSky]

Don't worry you're not crazy or we all kinda are- but I kinda relate. Like- I once drew with this shit on my wall and think blood is really aesthetic. So I liked the idea of ctb via cutting but it's just too unreliable.
Just to let you know I was kinda drunk when I painted on my wall so you could imagine the expression on my face the morning after x-x. Bc I just fell asleep and cleaned it up the next day.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Bless you xx