notaperson
Member
- Mar 15, 2025
- 8
I've picked out a date, ordered SN, and am preparing for when I do ctb. Compared to the rest of my life, less than 1% of it is remaining. It's hard trying to imagine not existing, like how it was before I was born, but I've accepted that it's just a concept that's impossible for the human mind to understand. I tried tried getting over it, I tried anti-depressants, I tried hrt, nothing worked. This is just who I am: it's who I have always been and who I will always be. I'm such a bad person and doing this to my family, my friends, and my best friend who has already been through so much; just solidifies how horrible and selfish I am. I just hope that they'll understand why I did it and not be too upset. I'm sure it will be scary and sad at first but I know that over time any evidence of my existence will fade away. And one day they will wake up and I will simply feel like a bad dream.
