Is there anyone else here who want to ctb because of love?

[Christian5483]

Have you ever had a love story just like in a fairy tale? So strong and pure, but for some reason it ended? If that's why you want to ctb, I'd love to hear your story.

 

[genie]

No and I'm a very cynical person who doesn't believe in love being more than a chemical reaction. I just don't want to be alone.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

I don't think it really makes sense to kill yourself for something fleeting like that. Love passes with time and distance. It only really makes sense if it's a permanent affliction like an incurable mental health disorder.

 

[BlueButterfly111]

Yes. That's the main reason, (but not the only reason) I want to ctb. My boyfriend passed away 7 months ago, we were so in love, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I just don't want to live without him, he was like an angel and a teddy bear. It's hard to explain, but it's just hard to live without him. It's like losing a limb or something vital that you needed. I probably would've been one of those people that didn't understand it until I met him. When he passed, that was the last thing to break my heart enough to ctb. I miss him so much.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Yip, true love and fairy tales do exist. I'm one of those here because of love. I'm not going into details again. But yes, fairy tales happen and in them you will also find the dragons and demons, witches and curses, magic and enchantment. It's all real, unfortunately the happily ever after bit for the prince and princess is not true for all, or comes at least in sequels, to be continued like in the movies to who knows what the end will be. In my case it may just end here. If you want to read more, have a look at this thread. I still count myself as lucky to have found this kind of love.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ps-and-why-people-would-ctb-over-them.193795/

 

[SVEN]

Love, or the lack of ?

 

[ctb2soble]

Yes. The desire to ctb has always been there for me, but when I lost my best friend and ex boyfriend to death over ten years ago, it increased. The pain and longing has never went away and I just want to be wherever he is. I even got married, but that was like a bandage to the grief thats never went away.

And to be honest, I don't even think my husband actually loves me at this point. Seems like he sees me as an ends to a means, aka incubator.

 

[Reflection]

No fairy tale, I just loved a person with all I had only to get the middle finger in the end. It's why I want to ctb, just drives me insane ans hurts like hell everyday. I wish I hadnt loved her, she doesnt deserve a millisecond of my time. But I am unable to move on.

I don't think it really makes sense to kill yourself for something fleeting like that. Love passes with time and distance.

Not for everyone

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

Yes, my wife just left me after 20 years together. We had a wonderful loving relationship with 2 daughters, and we were successful and we owned 2 homes. It wasn't perfect, but we were happy. Then she decided to file divorce papers without any notice, it crushed me. Now my head is full of painful memories from our life together and I can't escape. It hurts so much that she just turned on me one day, and it makes me feel so betrayed.

Separating from her and the family we built together isn't the only reason I want to CTB, but it's one of the biggest reasons. Even after almost a year apart and heavy doses on antidepressants, the constant feelings of sadness and intense pain is too much to live with.

 

[NegevChina]

I'm still married and love my wife of 26 years. Shes a talented dedicated mother and wife. But its just a matter of time until she will leave me, I can see the love dying. We had great times together, raising the kids, vacations, trips around the world, getting over obstacles together. We did have our arguments and difficulties as well. We still live together in the same house, with my younger 20 yo son, but I'm unemployed for over a year now, money is running out, mental and physical health deteriorating, I see how difficult it is for her. When my physical condition deteriorated, causing my already bad mental condition to get very bad, I knew right away I need to CTB, I could clearly see how it will end, didnt want to lose her love in addition to every thing else Ive lost, rather die now than experience the separation. Staying alive is causing me and my family damage.

 

[Black Angel]

Many people used to think that die for love is just an ancient legend…

 

[Kassender]

More because of the complete absence of it in my life

 

[Throsby_Geneva]

I've fallen both in love and out of it. I haven't loved in a long time (but I am currently married).

Sometimes I feel sad, but I also think I made myself unloveable. I don't think not being loved is what brought me here.

 

[rs929]

I am pro choice but killing yourself over someone seems a bad idea. Time always heals that kind of wounds

 

[sadalways]

Uhh for me it's like the opposite. Because i've never felt love and i know that i never will. In my mind though, i do make up all kinds of fairytale love stories that i wish i could experience.

 

[true-ending]

Yes. While I understand why people say that love is just a chemical reaction, but I find that to be a surface-level 'edgy' idea. Everything you feel is a chemical reaction, and at the end of the day, we're killing ourselves over those exact chemicals. Personally, my death will not be for a specific love, but because of my BPD- It's very painful enduring a pattern of painful, agonizing love, even if people would say it's just chemicals. Chemicals or not, I suffered for it. Chemicals or not, I cannot bear to live without those I fell in love with.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I've never experienced romantic love, only endless rejection..

 

[Reflection]

I am pro choice but killing yourself over someone seems a bad idea. Time always heals that kind of wounds

If it is "always" then we could apply the same reasoning to basically any other problem in life unless it is some kind of incurable physical health condition.

Yes. While I understand why people say that love is just a chemical reaction, but I find that to be a surface-level 'edgy' idea. Everything you feel is a chemical reaction, and at the end of the day, we're killing ourselves over those exact chemicals. Personally, my death will not be for a specific love, but because of my BPD- It's very painful enduring a pattern of painful, agonizing love, even if people would say it's just chemicals. Chemicals or not, I suffered for it. Chemicals or not, I cannot bear to live without those I fell in love with.

That description of love always struck me as funny, it's technically true but it's also like saying that we're just a bunch of protein meatbags. It's just a way for people to cope I guess. In any case it's saddening that we have to bear hurtful things like these, wishing you the best.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

It's not the only reason for me, but my partner deciding to CTB has certainly pushed me closer to taking the same exit. Knowing that level of love and squandering it, knowing it will never return, is unbearably painful

 

[wishingiwasok]

For me yes, because I love deeply and fully and unfortunately the people I love don't love me back that way. Eventually there is always more I should be doing or something they don't like about me. If I get the chance to change, it never seems to be good enough, fast enough. It makes life feel much too long and hard. Of course there are other things that don't help like complex childhood trauma and constant struggling to survive in a world with more than enough resources for everyone but the love stuff is particularly sharp.

 

[2minutes2ctb]

Yes. In my opinion, some losses are just too difficult to grieve. The quote "We only realize the value of something when we no longer have it" sums up my story perfectly. Of course, we never know what the future holds, but just the thought of never be able to find true love again scares me like nothing else. I heard someone saying once, "You can't miss what you didn't cherish". Well I'm not sure it's true, when it takes to lose someone to realize you never understood the power of love.