Introduce yourself

[PoisonedJuliet]

Hello. I'm almost 30, from Canada, and I found this place when researching methods online. I've been homeless for the last year and a bit. I sleep in a very dangerous homeless shelter at night, and try to temp work when I can for money.

The shelter offers breakfast lunch and dinner so food isn't really a problem...even though it forces me to hang around the bad area. Line ups are long and usually full of drama. The portions are decent so I can usually get by with just lining up for dinner.

I sleep on a blue mat on the floor shoulder to shoulder with many other homeless, most with addiction and mental health issues. Or both. There are constant fights, yelling, drug dealing and use, and just everything else you think goes on at shelters.

The temp work I occasionally can get allows me a little freedom. Sometimes I can get a airbnb for a few days, if i want to say have some drinks by myself one night. It provides for my smokes, medication, phone bill, food, and the odd treat here and there. Sometimes it can be awhile between jobs so it's far from stable income.

I have no friends to speak of, and I dont have a good relationship with my family, never have. They are toxic. I chose to be on my own and handle my life solo. I have no dependents thank god.

I've seen so much and been through even more on the streets. If you have any questions about living on the streets, or living in a shelter, let me know. I'm full of valuable information regarding that.

I'm tired of living day to day with nothing real to look forward to. My life is nothing but a drawn out race to a early death anyway. As soon as I find a good method, the next time I snap and get sick of everything will probably be my last time. Hopefully my last.

I've had several attempts before, but I can honestly say they were half hearted. I do believe I will succeed the daily it truly becomes enough. That day is inevitable and approaching fast, but I'm not anticipating it. I'm basically on auto pilot ready to evacuate the plane at any moment, with no reason to stay, or no reason to leave. Whatever happens happens. All I know is I cant keep this life up much longer. If things dont change, and it looks like they never will, I'm going to end my own life.

I hope to meet some of you and get to know some like minded people. My struggles with suicide and life have been so private. It would be a welcome change to openly talk about it and have my choice accepted. Much love

Hi and welcome to the forum :). I'd be happy to get to know you and I hope you know this place is a great community full of kind souls. I wanted to welcome you so you can feel just as accepted as I did when I first got here. Lots of love and warm hugs

 

[BlackPoppet]

Hello. I'm almost 30, from Canada, and I found this place when researching methods online. I've been homeless for the last year and a bit. I sleep in a very dangerous homeless shelter at night, and try to temp work when I can for money.

The shelter offers breakfast lunch and dinner so food isn't really a problem...even though it forces me to hang around the bad area. Line ups are long and usually full of drama. The portions are decent so I can usually get by with just lining up for dinner.

I sleep on a blue mat on the floor shoulder to shoulder with many other homeless, most with addiction and mental health issues. Or both. There are constant fights, yelling, drug dealing and use, and just everything else you think goes on at shelters.

The temp work I occasionally can get allows me a little freedom. Sometimes I can get a airbnb for a few days, if i want to say have some drinks by myself one night. It provides for my smokes, medication, phone bill, food, and the odd treat here and there. Sometimes it can be awhile between jobs so it's far from stable income.

I have no friends to speak of, and I dont have a good relationship with my family, never have. They are toxic. I chose to be on my own and handle my life solo. I have no dependents thank god.

I've seen so much and been through even more on the streets. If you have any questions about living on the streets, or living in a shelter, let me know. I'm full of valuable information regarding that.

I'm tired of living day to day with nothing real to look forward to. My life is nothing but a drawn out race to a early death anyway. As soon as I find a good method, the next time I snap and get sick of everything will probably be my last time. Hopefully my last.

I've had several attempts before, but I can honestly say they were half hearted. I do believe I will succeed the daily it truly becomes enough. That day is inevitable and approaching fast, but I'm not anticipating it. I'm basically on auto pilot ready to evacuate the plane at any moment, with no reason to stay, or no reason to leave. Whatever happens happens. All I know is I cant keep this life up much longer. If things dont change, and it looks like they never will, I'm going to end my own life.

I hope to meet some of you and get to know some like minded people. My struggles with suicide and life have been so private. It would be a welcome change to openly talk about it and have my choice accepted. Much love

Hi it's nice to meet you!
I'm here if you ever need to chat!

 

[Hollow Point]

Hi and welcome to the forum :). I'd be happy to get to know you and I hope you know this place is a great community full of kind souls. I wanted to welcome you so you can feel just as accepted as I did when I first got here. Lots of love and warm hugs

Thanks for the welcome. The place seems really cool. Hope you're doing as well as you can be.

Hi it's nice to meet you!
I'm here if you ever need to chat!

Nice to meet you too. And cool I might take you up on that :)

Hi it's nice to meet you!
I'm here if you ever need to chat!

Nice to meet you too. And cool I might take you up on that :)

 

[Abused and Suicidal]

Hello,

I am still young, but my life has been ruined by bipolar disorder, bullying, being a chronic overachiever with severe anxiety, and my narcissistic mother.
I don't see any purpose in my life anymore, and people only see me either as a freak or only for my grades. So I'm going to stay here until I work up enough courage to ctb.

 

[Kokichi]

Hey hey. I'm a 19 year old woman from the US. I guess I'm gonna go by Kokichi or just Kichi on here since I have a habit of taking on names of fictional characters on websites (yes I'm using the name of a male character despite being female) I have a lot of interests, mostly various video games and shows. Also I'm bad at talking about myself. I have various mental disorders such as ADHD, depression, (probably) OCD, and dissociative identity disorder. I don't necessarily want to die, but I feel like I'm not going anywhere in life and things just keep getting worse and worse, and I don't think I really deserve to exist. I don't actually think I'll ultimately CTB anytime soon, but it's an option in the back of my mind. Whenever it may be, I'd like my life to end at my own hands, on my own terms. Things kind of really suck right now, but I'm trying to bank on things improving in the future. At the time being, I think I'm mostly here for support and to meet people in similar situations. It's nice to meet you all! <3

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Warm welcome to all new members who grace our forum. I'm sorry for anyone who's been pushed to this point in their life. I'm here for anyone who needs to vent or talk.

 

[Jumper Geo]

I'm from London UK, I have been a member since February 2020, the reason I'm here is because I had an episode about two years ago and I was prescribed Risperidon and the side effects have fucked up my life, I worked in an office for over 35 years cleaned shaved, suited and booted and now I haven't got the energy to wash in the morning.

I have been clean of all medication for over a year now and nothing has changed, can't believe a fucking psychiatrist gave me this shit and never told me about the side effects, they should issue these dangerous psychotic pills for a 3 month period only and then wait to see if the symptoms return, not leave me on them unsupervised I didn't have a clue but now I have researched them thoroughly, I know they have dangerous side effects.

The reason they don't tell you is they are in denial I have told them hundreds of times, it has made me brain damaged and they won't accept it, you always get the same dumb answer, oh some people have some side effects but everyone is different and not everyone will experience them.

Anyway that is my story and why I'm here talking to similar minded people.

Geo

 

[racek]

Jacek, from Poland, frequently losing a hope

 

[muchomango]

Hi.
I've been lurking for a few days now and decided to join. I don't have plans to ctb, but it's always in the back of my head, just in case.
F/18, diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ocd. I feel like I have more issues though because so many of my behaviors are unexplained. I'll save my long backstory, but I wanted a community where I could actually express myself without someone freaking out, you know? See you guys around in more threads

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

Hi.
I've been lurking for a few days now and decided to join. I don't have plans to ctb, but it's always in the back of my head, just in case.
F/18, diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ocd. I feel like I have more issues though because so many of my behaviors are unexplained. I'll save my long backstory, but I wanted a community where I could actually express myself without someone freaking out, you know? See you guys around in more threads

Welcome <3 vent/chat/rant/love/scream anytime you want

Feel free to pm me whenever :) (when you're able to of course)

 

[NotGonnaLast]

Hi all!

M/24 I joined because my thoughts have been getting worse lately and it's nice to be able to talk about it.
I have general/social anxiety, depression and gender dysphoria (which really doesn't help).
The first time someone described me as depressed I was 8, so I guess that's a win?? I don't even know.

 

[FusRohDracarys]

Hi there,

I'm 25 and from the USA. I've struggled with depression and suicidal ideation for most of my life. I've made a few spur of the moment attempts, the most recent of which was the most serious and landed me in an outpatient clinic a few years ago. I swore to myself the next time would be the last time and... well. Starting to wonder if it's time.

All this COVID-19 bs has me in a rapidly deteriorating mindset. I can't stand how the government is willfully choosing to crash the economy for everyone to protect the lives of the minority of at risk people. I can't stand being forced to stay indoors while everyone paints a smile and is all #AloneTogether and #FlattenTheCurve and all that stupid shit while our future is basically being destroyed. I can't stand how the media is fear mongering and reporting the numbers misleadingly to keep people scared and in line. And I really dread to think about how this will affect our freedom and civil rights in the future. It's a bad precedent that people are embracing that can only lead to no good. Things just look really bleak to me. Getting the virus and dying feels like it would be the cleanest get away, yet there's a less than 1% chance that would happen... which means I would be one of the unfortunate ones who have to deal with the aftermath of all this. I don't know. I just know this needs to end soon because I'm losing my ability to function, and if it won't end on a large scale, then I may need to end it on a personal scale. And this is all stuff that I know you can't say out loud without sounding like a conspiracy theorist or nutcase fanatic so I've stopped talking to my friends... but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was lonely. So hi there. I'm not completely nuts, I promise.

 

[imsorrybear]

Hey, I'm 18 and turning 19 this coming 30th of May. I'm a Biomedical student studying for my Diploma and I just finished the first year.

The two people I hold dearest in life is the man I'm currently seeing now and my mom. I love them so much and I'm absolutely blessed to have them in my life. But I'm tired of my own head and I don't want such a useful vessel like me dragging them down anymore.

I've struggled with suicidal thoughts and depressive episodes ever since 4-5 years ago. I was never diagnosed and it only escalated to an eating disorder, self harm, impulsive acts and a ton of other self destructive behavior. My 2-3 years of disordered eating drives me insane and I hate it with every inch of my soul. Its cost me my health, relationships and tons of money.

I'm planning to attempt SN in a months time if my SN comes successfully on time, I've made three orders so far and two has been cancelled and refunded with no detailed reasoning from the sellers. I suppose it might be because SN is illegal to own without a license in my country under the explosives act. But Im hoping everything runs smoothly, I'm so tired, absolutely drained, hopeless. It would be great if I could go silently.

Since I'm planning to go in a month's time, I've been eating mostly normally/binging on some days because well..I'll be dead soon anyway and I've been trying to be more patient with my mom and more giving to my partner, doing whatever, whenever as much as possible. I just want to give him the best days before I fall into eternal sleep.

 

[GreyMagic]

FusRohDracarys - welcome to the forum. Hope you settle in okay.

I agree with your opinion on the whole covid-19 issue. Sick of all the media coverage. Although I will add that our NHS workers (aka healthcare workers doctors nurses etc) in my country are fantastic.


imsorrybear - I'm pleased to hear you won't be alone in your final weeks months.

I've had disordered eating too so you aren't alone in that either.

 

[littlemisssunshine]

Hey

I'm female 29 uk Near London. I live alone with my son. He has severe special needs. I hope to ctb once he starts residential school and no longer needs me.

I have had fleeting waves of low mood and thoughts of suicide but this is my story of how I've been tipped to the point of no return.

I got bullied at secondary school, i struggled with making and keeping friends, and also was unhappy at home. Having no bond at all with my mum as well as being sexually abused by a close relative. I just didn't fit in anywhere. I remember going home and being so lonely id watch the tv for hours and repeat the same cycle every night.

I hated my body then and still do. My mum obsessed about my weight along with my sisters constantly. Monitoring closely what we ate. I absolutely hate my breasts. Hate my face. I hate how I look full stop. My mum mocked my breasts etc and since then men I've been with have. most have mocked my looks in one way or another and some boyfriends have said I am deformed.

I had my son extremely young and was abused by his father along with my parents during the pregnancy. I was also mistreated during the birth of my son by some of the nurses and midwives 'looking after' me who abused their positions of power and tried to do me emotional and physical harm. I got very sick soon after my sons birth and thought I was going to die. I was put in itu and was saved. I got severe ptsd and this is when my mental health issues went off the rails. I went back and forth different therapists who fobbed me off and told Me what I had experienced was everyone's experience in birth - when it hadnt been. I was severley mistreated and it felt like everyone in my world at that time was in on it - I eventually aster a few years saw an amazing psychologist who helped fix me as best she could. But everything still feels very raw

my sons early years was hard. We were separated due to my illness so I felt no connection to him. I went back and forth my parents and his dad - unsure what type of abuse was best to endure. I then moved in with his dad because I was under so much pressure and the abuse my parents were putting me under was making me ill. We were repeatedly made homeless and I kept getting ill whilst he drank. I had no break from my son but felt no bond there. He made me sleep on the floor in my sons room days after being discharged from hospital. All I remember from the early days is agtession and screaming. I then went back to live with my parents because the abuse was so bad. I felt sad I didn't have somewhere to call home to raise my baby. I'd let him down whilst everyone was letting me down. Eventually we got back together and after numerous different houses we got settled when my son was about two - things got a bit better but the abuse continued and he was strill drinking heavily- cheating on me at every opportunity - eventually we split and since then I've gone from one abusive man to another because i genuinely can't see how I would be worthy of anything else. Who'd want a fat ugly girl with small boobs like me. The trauma from my pregnancy , birth, and my sons early years never left me abd never will. It's permenantly scarred me.

I've never been able to form a stable connection where the feelings I've had have been mutual. I struggle to understand the rules around relationships and friendships and I strongly suspect I'm autistic as well as having bpd which kind of helps me understand why I can't do what other people can socially. Half the time I totally get it but it seems like the other time I'm outside the bubble to everyone else - this explains why I clung on so hard to friends I did have at school - as well as boyfriends. I didn't like change.

Life gradually got better. My son turned 3 and I went back to work but within a couple of years it was all going to shit again. he wasn't getting on at school - he couldn't cope with the different transitions on different days - so after 3 years I gave it up to refocus on being a mum.

My son got diagnosed with autism and has since been diagnosed as having severe sen and I fought tooth and nail to get him into one of the best residential schools in the country as he's been kicked out of every other special school - which again has been spun to be my fault. I want him to have a chance at a future - even if I'm not around to see it. He is also Abusive to me which is massively triggering given my past

my most recent on off boyfriend has pretty much left me for his best friend. He treated me like shit but also like gold. I've also been distanced from some of my friends so become lonely. I don't have much quality of life anymore so I do question the point. I'm plagued by past events daily and I don't have anyone to share the good times with. That's all I want from life and in reality it's unlikely I will ever get it.

I'm sure I've missed huge chunks out but this is my story. This is why I am the way I am x

 

[GreyMagic]

Littlemisssunshine - oh wow you have been through a lot. Will be honest and say not sure how to respond. But one thing I do know is how amazing you are to have survived all this abuse.

I'm very concerned about your son being in such a toxic environment though. Do you have any other relatives he could stay with?

 

[Rinzing]

Hey there :)

F/19 Not to sure on how to start this, i have been dealing with mental illness for most of my life i had a rough start i suppose, i'm a lost case oh definitely, i been obsessed with suicide since the at of 11 along those time i had a lot of failed and painful attempts due to fear and ignorance towards the methods. I got severely bullied on my 6th grade of school causing my anxiety to get much much worse as the bullying went on. my teacher was a big aspect of my trauma from that grade, all the stress and conflict caused me to develop agoraphobia causing me to have panic attacks when i felt trapped in things such as school, groups and appointment days it's still affecting me to this day. My teen years where not existent, i had no friends i never attend school only for about a year but i never really went due to bullying once again, i had many loops of up and downs, trying so hard to become what everyone wants of me as i now see why waste my time becoming what others want me to, i'm at ease of the idea of dying and it's truly my plan for a peaceful outcome, 2019 was definitely my worse i met some horrible people, two caused me so much emotional trauma, one put me through so much pain, making me do things that were dangerous, she made me go through alot, i also got my first bf but he ended up being a abuser he threatened suicide when ever i wanted to break up, one night we got drunk (my first time drinking) he raped me that night, that was also my first time. i'm not involved with those two anymore at least. Me as person i like many types of art, drawing, painting, crafts, photography. I also like anime and manga as also video games. I have a child like attitude i like stuffed animals, kid shows and most childlike activities, always been like that i guess i never really grew out of such things but i enjoy it, also i'm a huge animal lover there just so precious. I left a lot out of my past as i don't want this to drag on to long.

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

Hey there :)

F/19 Not to sure on how to start this, i have been dealing with mental illness for most of my life i had a rough start i suppose, i'm a lost case oh definitely, i been obsessed with suicide since the at of 11 along those time i had a lot of failed and painful attempts due to fear and ignorance towards the methods. I got severely bullied on my 6th grade of school causing my anxiety to get much much worse as the bullying went on. my teacher was a big aspect of my trauma from that grade, all the stress and conflict caused me to develop agoraphobia causing me to have panic attacks when i felt trapped in things such as school, groups and appointment days it's still affecting me to this day. My teen years where not existent, i had no friends i never attend school only for about a year but i never really went due to bullying once again, i had many loops of up and downs, trying so hard to become what everyone wants of me as i now see why waste my time becoming what others want me to, i'm at ease of the idea of dying and it's truly my plan for a peaceful outcome, 2019 was definitely my worse i met some horrible people, two caused me so much emotional trauma, one put me through so much pain, making me do things that were dangerous, she made me go through alot, i also got my first bf but he ended up being a abuser he threatened suicide when ever i wanted to break up, one night we got drunk (my first time drinking) he raped me that night, that was also my first time. i'm not involved with those two anymore at least. Me as person i like many types of art, drawing, painting, crafts, photography. I also like anime and manga as also video games. I have a child like attitude i like stuffed animals, kid shows and most childlike activities, always been like that i guess i never really grew out of such things but i enjoy it, also i'm a huge animal lover there just so precious. I left a lot out of my past as i don't want this to drag on to long.

Welcome. I hope you find this place comforting and understanding. Always open to a talk <3

 

[littlemisssunshine]

Littlemisssunshine - oh wow you have been through a lot. Will be honest and say not sure how to respond. But one thing I do know is how amazing you are to have survived all this abuse.

I'm very concerned about your son being in such a toxic environment though. Do you have any other relatives he could stay with?

my son will start residential school in September so he will no longer need me then. I will wait til he's happy and settled then ctb.

the environment at home is not toxic anymore his dad and I are no longer together and I've no man living here. It's just us abd most the time peaceful. My son has ptsd and severe mental health problems so we can clash as we trigger eachother sometimes but it's not toxic. He knows he's very much loved and I'd do anything to protect him

x

 

[Rinzing]

Welcome. I hope you find this place comforting and understanding. Always open to a talk <3

Thank you for the kind welcome, much appreciated

 

[Grendel]

I have struggled with multiple mental illnesses since the age of 8 after being sexually assaulted by two men. I have severe memory problems due to PTSD and other mental problems that produce a duality in me that are as distinct as night and day. I was a prolific self-harmer but have since found other coping mechanisms. The threat is always present though and is quite draining to stay on top of. I live a reclusive life, only going out for food shopping and medical appointments with the help of support workers and short drives around surrounding areas.

I work from home making stained glass in a studio in my garden which I supply to an antiques shop in a nearby town. When I'm not working I indulge in most things to do with horror (films, books, manga, art, creepypastas, life (!) ) and keep fit with boxing drills and martial arts weapon training. I do this to try and retain full range of body motion as I get older in order to stay out of hospital for as long as possible.

I have been giving much more thought to CTB recently after losing my two cats within a week of one another. One was diagnosed with cancer and deteriorated quickly and the other was run over. They were everything to me, especially the one who died of cancer. When I bought my house he came out of nowhere and ran straight into the house before I could. He was the single constant good thing in my life and the house feels so empty and dead without the pair of them. I promised I would stick around for them and with such little self-worth I don't see any reason for carrying on.

On a positive note, I like dark humour and shaving my head.

 

[Fizzel87]

I work from home making stained glass in a studio in my garden which I supply to an antiques shop in a nearby town.

That's cool as hell bro.

 

[MissKatrina]

Hi Everyone! I'm Katrina. I'm 23 and a student that loves animals, fiction, baking, Netflix, and travelling.

Growing up, I have been through more than I should have, but ultimately I have really bad brain chemistry. My first suicide attempt was when I was 6 years old with bleach and it wasn't for any particular reason. I've just never liked the idea of existence and only stayed alive to not hurt the people I love. I've been on three different antidepressants, seen a couple specialists but honestly I only gained new issues and disorders. I've recently disowned my family after some serious quarrels and my boyfriend who I thought I'd marry, left me so I really don't have much interest in sticking around. I'm planning to wait it out for two more months until my University exams are complete, in case I survive and to see whether I change my mind.

 

[Grendel]

That's cool as hell bro.

Hey, thanks Fizzel87. It's really nice to be able to work alone and you can learn how to do it online for free.

 

[Jumper Geo]

I have struggled with multiple mental illnesses since the age of 8 after being sexually assaulted by two men. I have severe memory problems due to PTSD and other mental problems that produce a duality in me that are as distinct as night and day. I was a prolific self-harmer but have since found other coping mechanisms. The threat is always present though and is quite draining to stay on top of. I live a reclusive life, only going out for food shopping and medical appointments with the help of support workers and short drives around surrounding areas.

I work from home making stained glass in a studio in my garden which I supply to an antiques shop in a nearby town. When I'm not working I indulge in most things to do with horror (films, books, manga, art, creepypastas, life (!) ) and keep fit with boxing drills and martial arts weapon training. I do this to try and retain full range of body motion as I get older in order to stay out of hospital for as long as possible.

I have been giving much more thought to CTB recently after losing my two cats within a week of one another. One was diagnosed with cancer and deteriorated quickly and the other was run over. They were everything to me, especially the one who died of cancer. When I bought my house he came out of nowhere and ran straight into the house before I could. He was the single constant good thing in my life and the house feels so empty and dead without the pair of them. I promised I would stick around for them and with such little self-worth I don't see any reason for carrying on.

On a positive note, I like dark humour and shaving my head.

Sorry to hear your story man life has been cruel for you and the evil bastards in this World ruin people life's without a thought for the poor victims, I am not a big fan on religion but I really hope there is retribution in the afterlife, you work from home so it's an ideal situation to have pets I know you find it hard to replace them but why not see if you can get a few rescue kittens and you will have that knowledge and satisfaction of giving them a wonderful life after having a shit start being abandoned.

Cheers Geo

 

[Grendel]

Thank you kindly Jumper Geo.

Spoiler: SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO A MENTION OF INJURIES

The cat's died very recently and I'm still struggling a bit with the mental images. The one who was run over had his eyeballs knocked clean out of his head. It must have been a hard impact so I think he died immediately which is a comfort. I was aLlowed to cup the other one's head in my hands while he was euthanised but he didn't die without a struggle.

I'm hoping that the memories won't be too raw after this lockdown is over. All the rescue places are closed at the moment but I'd be happy to take in a few strays. Especially one's that aren't 'cute' enough to be chosen by others for whatever reason. The house just feels so empty at the moment and everytime I hear a floorboard creak I automatically get up and open the door to let them into my room. Something that I used to do all the time while they are alive. It'll be great companionship for me to take a few strays in so it's not a selfless act. My suicidal thoughts fluctuate all the time and I think if I take on the responsibility of owning more pets, I'll do everything I can to stay alive for them.

Thank you again for your kind words!

 

[Jumper Geo]

Thank you kindly Jumper Geo.

Spoiler: SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO A MENTION OF INJURIES

The cat's died very recently and I'm still struggling a bit with the mental images. The one who was run over had his eyeballs knocked clean out of his head. It must have been a hard impact so I think he died immediately which is a comfort. I was aLlowed to cup the other one's head in my hands while he was euthanised but he didn't die without a struggle.

I'm hoping that the memories won't be too raw after this lockdown is over. All the rescue places are closed at the moment but I'd be happy to take in a few strays. Especially one's that aren't 'cute' enough to be chosen by others for whatever reason. The house just feels so empty at the moment and everytime I hear a floorboard creak I automatically get up and open the door to let them into my room. Something that I used to do all the time while they are alive. It'll be great companionship for me to take a few strays in so it's not a selfless act. My suicidal thoughts fluctuate all the time and I think if I take on the responsibility of owning more pets, I'll do everything I can to stay alive for them.

Thank you again for your kind words!

I understand my cat died 30 years ago and I still miss him, he new when I needed comfort and would always appear can't you go out and nick one of the street, lol only joking yes maybe check online they must still be open, they need to feed the animals but we are all in isolation if you do go out maybe keep an eye out for any stray kittens I used to see 100's when I was younger that's how I got my cat it was a kitten on it's own and I took it in but they neutered all the strays and they disappeared.

Anyway good luck with your search I hope you find a companion soon.

Best wishes

Geo

 

[roor]

Hi, you can call me Roor. I'm a 28 queer poc who suffers from depression and bi-polar disorder. I feel like I've lost my family and have been abandoned by friends who can't keep up with my moods. My physical health has been an issue over the past year as well. There's just so much physical and mental pain. I feel ready to CTB.

 

[Shades]

I'm not much of a person. Just a blob of apathy and anhedonia, wrapped in a technically-still-alive outer layer. I find it very difficult to care about anything in this world anymore.

I almost succeeded in hanging myself a few years ago. The buildup to that moment was one of the most intense periods of my life, a full 10 months of preparatory self-abuse. Afterwards... nothing. My personality literally changed overnight, I stopped hurting myself, I stopped hurting. Life has been exceedingly boring ever since, but I've lost the capacity to feel motivation of any sort.

This post represents the biggest change in my behavior since then. It's been ages since I've done something other than exist, and complete the tasks that other people ask of me. But I've been feeling the familiar call of the void... so here I am. For a certain definition of "am."

 

[dietsodamnsad]

Hi friends, I'm sorry you're on this site reading this post because I know how much pain you are in. There isn't much for me to say here really, no one actually cares what led me to this point but hopefully I won't be here for long. I don't plan on living past this week, if I can help it this hell will all be over by tomorrow. I've attempted to take my life multiple times but this is going to be my last hoorah. I simply can't go on any longer.