Introduce yourself

[FriesLovee]

I'm pretty sure the message function is locked until you've interacted with the forum for a blit, same as the chat and the search function :(

(Blocked for me too obviously)

Sorry for the double post, maybe we can find a topic in Offtopic to chat if you wanted to DM me? I haven't explored that section yet, but if you have ideas I'm listening!

I dont even know where is that lol

 

[daisymayhem]

Hi everyone.

I struggle with dysthymia, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and feelings. I'm extremely lonely. I'm not the person I once was...I used to have friends, a social life...but now I've been cut off by everyone , even my family, becaus I talked about my problems. Not everyone wants to hear it apparently. I grew up hearing if you had problems talk to family and friends? So I did?

My issues started with me falling in love with a girl at school which I never got over. She was my best friend. I told her how I feel but she didn't feel the same.

We're still in touch.

I did meet someone else years later, after being friends with them on a forum for 10+ years they admitted they had feelings for me. We dated for a year. It was perfect. I went to USA to see her, she came to UK.

Then she stopped taking her meds and broke up, got a sex change, said she didn't want to date anyone ever again and then ended the friendship.

So yeah, that broke me. I told her I couldn't go through another heart break. She knew about the last girl. I don't know why she did it. Why we even dated. I just don't know.



Either way I'm very alone now, and it doesnt seem to look like it will change. Suicide crosses my mind often. I've tried a few times but never been successful.

Anyway..that's me in a nutshell.

The life you once had, was it the life you wanted or like me, was it the life you knew was expected by society? Being lonely sucks, tho to me it's the lesser of the evils, better than getting it wrong again. I lost my family for speaking about my past so get where your coming from. I fully intend to end it. I just have loose ends to tie up.
On that cheerful note, hi and welcome. I've joined a few days ago.

 

[FriesLovee]

I'm pretty sure the message function is locked until you've interacted with the forum for a blit, same as the chat and the search function :(

(Blocked for me too obviously)

Sorry for the double post, maybe we can find a topic in Offtopic to chat if you wanted to DM me? I haven't explored that section yet, but if you have ideas I'm listening!

I messaged u but idk if u have the pm feature

 

[mrnob0dy]

im nobody or I wish I was

 

[daisymayhem]

I messaged u but idk if u have the pm feature

I think I have

 

[BobSmoked]

Only found this thread now I'm not very good at introductions but I'll try I'm from the UK and long struggled with dark thoughts and used self destructive means to manage the issues I grew up in a broken home lived in and out of the care system occasionally with other family members who I'm forever grateful to as they helped make me the person I am today, recently in the run up to Covid I began to take a bad turn and decided it was my time to CTB in the week leading upto my departure date as it were my Uncle CTB by hanging it threw a spanner in the works as even though I mentioned a bad childhood I'm still trying to do right by mum so I resolved to help support her and prepare the funeral so nearly a year later I find myself planning to CTB again only for her other brother to CTB via the same method as her older brother.

My apologies for the long winded ramble but here we are I've been treading water for roughly 3 years now so I would like to say thank you if you managed to reach this point I hope you all are having a good day and hello .

 

[daisymayhem]

Only found this thread now I'm not very good at introductions but I'll try I'm from the UK and long struggled with dark thoughts and used self destructive means to manage the issues I grew up in a broken home lived in and out of the care system occasionally with other family members who I'm forever grateful to as they helped make me the person I am today, recently in the run up to Covid I began to take a bad turn and decided it was my time to CTB in the week leading upto my departure date as it were my Uncle CTB by hanging it threw a spanner in the works as even though I mentioned a bad childhood I'm still trying to do right by mum so I resolved to help support her and prepare the funeral so nearly a year later I find myself planning to CTB again only for her other brother to CTB via the same method as her older brother.

My apologies for the long winded ramble but here we are I've been treading water for roughly 3 years now so I would like to say thank you if you managed to reach this point I hope you all are having a good day and hello .

uk based here to .That your pooch? Mines the only reason I'm still here, when I think of ctb she is the only thing that stops me. Them big brown eyes don't half hit the bullseye. My girlie is a woodland moocher more than beeches. How you doing? You keeping your head above water?

 

[BobSmoked]

uk based here to .That your pooch? Mines the only reason I'm still here, when I think of ctb she is the only thing that stops me. Them big brown eyes don't half hit the bullseye. My girlie is a woodland moocher more than beeches. How you doing? You keeping your head above water?

I'm still treading water thank you for asking I wish my Shadow was but he passed away in 2020 after 12 years of companionship, I'm happy to hear you've a dog and I bet she enjoys her woodland wanders .

 

[daisymayhem]

I'm still treading water thank you for asking I wish my Shadow was but he passed away in 2020 after 12 years of companionship, I'm happy to hear you've a dog and I bet she enjoys her woodland wanders .

Oh no, I'm so sorry. Me n my mouth. Thats my cheeky girlie. Shes 10 now and on Arthritis meds and injections but shes still chatty n cheeky. She was a failed foster, just couldnt give her up.

 

[BobSmoked]

Oh no, I'm so sorry. Me n my mouth. Thats my cheeky girlie. Shes 10 now and on Arthritis meds and injections but shes still chatty n cheeky. She was a failed foster, just couldnt give her up.View attachment 148856

Awe she's adorable thank you for sharing I've taken on a couple of rescue cats I just can't think of replacing my boy, truly animals and the outdoors are some of life's real pleasures and ones I really enjoy sorry for the ramble I'll offer up one of my favourite places in the whole world as compensation.

 

[daisymayhem]

Awe she's adorable thank you for sharing I've taken on a couple of rescue cats I just can't think of replacing my boy, truly animals and the outdoors are some of life's real pleasures and ones I really enjoy sorry for the ramble I'll offer up one of my favourite places in the whole world as compensation.

Thank you. I have a cat as well. That photos beautiful, looks like Wales or the lakes. there's something about trees and water. Nature is therapy on another level. I'm so up and down at the moment. My mental flood defences don't seem to be adequate. You can ramble all you like

 

[BobSmoked]

Thank you. I have a cat as well. That photos beautiful, looks like Wales or the lakes. there's something about trees and water. Nature is therapy on another level. I'm so up and down at the moment. My mental flood defences don't seem to be adequate. You can ramble all you like

Kinda close my friend Scotland and it's ok and quite relatable the days ebb and flow like the tide just take it one day at a time we are only human.

 

[daisymayhem]

Kinda close my friend Scotland and it's ok and quite relatable the days ebb and flow like the tide just take it one day at a time we are only human.

Lol that looked to lush and green to be Scotland. Though I liked the make do n mend attitude. Learnt alot from a grumpy Scottish builder.

 

[BobSmoked]

Ah the quintessential grumpy scot lol our little isle is verdant and green.

 

[daisymayhem]

Which Isle? Not shetland there's to many trees in your photo, Orkney has more trees, but im guessing skye

 

[BobSmoked]

Which Isle? Not shetland there's to many trees in your photo, Orkney has more trees, but im guessing skye

lol my bad I'm in line with Sky but I meant Britain is a verdant green Isle I'm based on the mainland these days I'll say that it is a fantastic little Salmon river thank you.

 

[nekrofawn1]

hi everyone, i'm a 23 year old girl from the US.
i'm bipolar schizophrenic, & have had SI since early childhood (first time was around 8 years old).

i wasn't meant to live this life, or be here for a long time. i've always been this way, or attempting/self harming. im content with the idea of no longer being here. i'm fairly antisocial & don't have any friends at all.

i do ballet, study philosophy, and im a huge music lover. i also have a jewelry business & enjoy playing video games. these things are keeping me stagnant until the inevitable, nice to meet you all

 

[daisymayhem]

lol my bad I'm in line with Sky but I meant Britain is a verdant green Isle I'm based on the mainland these days I'll say that it is a fantastic little Salmon river thank you.

No it'll be me not cottoning on. I like salmon, infact I learnt to fish when I was in Scotland, (when in Rome n all that) sat dangling me rod, boat bobbing up and down. One of the most peaceful things I've ever done.

 

[BobSmoked]

No it'll be me not cottoning on. I like salmon, infact I learnt to fish when I was in Scotland, (when in Rome n all that) sat dangling me rod, boat bobbing up and down. One of the most peaceful things I've ever done.

Something I used to indulge in myself although I preferred the dry fly from the bank unless I were out on the lochs for trout, I've not fished in a long time now I try just to go once or twice a year and just watch the fish rise.

Two of the better photos I've taken of the River Ness a slightly diffrent river with no real Salmon run these days unlike some of the smaller rivers.

 

[Individual1034521]

Hello, all. Just joined, but have lurked for some time. I am a 27 yo teacher that has no promising prospects in his future. I am approaching a new school year that I dread will be a repeat of the last, and have no agency to control it. I like anime, video games, and comics so I am a real catch! /s Anyway, just looking to speak with people of similar mindsets to feel less alone in my self-imposed urban hermit lifestyle. If you want to chat about whatever, I'm game; will be more social interaction then I would normally get lol

 

[anon554]

Im 19, in college and ready to give up. Ive given myself one year to convince myself otherwise. Nice to meet all of you.

 

[daisymayhem]

hi everyone, i'm a 23 year old girl from the US.
i'm bipolar schizophrenic, & have had SI since early childhood (first time was around 8 years old).

i wasn't meant to live this life, or be here for a long time. i've always been this way, or attempting/self harming. im content with the idea of no longer being here. i'm fairly antisocial & don't have any friends at all.

i do ballet, study philosophy, and im a huge music lover. i also have a jewelry business & enjoy playing video games. these things are keeping me stagnant until the inevitable, nice to meet you all

Hi. Nice to meet you to. What sort of jewellery do you make?

Hello, all. Just joined, but have lurked for some time. I am a 27 yo teacher that has no promising prospects in his future. I am approaching a new school year that I dread will be a repeat of the last, and have no agency to control it. I like anime, video games, and comics so I am a real catch! /s Anyway, just looking to speak with people of similar mindsets to feel less alone in my self-imposed urban hermit lifestyle. If you want to chat about whatever, I'm game; will be more social interaction then I would normally get lol

Hi, nice to meet you. Im not a teacher but I was once every teachers nightmare.....

Im 19, in college and ready to give up. Ive given myself one year to convince myself otherwise. Nice to meet all of you.

Hi, ive given myself until my dog is ready to shuffle off this planet. A couple more years. Its hard and I've promised her if I fail it won't be through lack of trying, but I know what her worst nightmare would be and see it as my duty to keep her safe. So what's on your list of convincing reasons to stay so far?

Im 19, in college and ready to give up. Ive given myself one year to convince myself otherwise. Nice to meet all of you.

Hi, ive given myself until my dog is ready to shuffle off this planet. A couple more years. Its hard and I've promised her if I fail it won't be through lack of trying, but I know what her worst nightmare would be and see it as my duty to keep her safe. So what's on your list of convincing reasons to stay so far?

Something I used to indulge in myself although I preferred the dry fly from the bank unless I were out on the lochs for trout, I've not fished in a long time now I try just to go once or twice a year and just watch the fish rise.

Two of the better photos I've taken of the River Ness a slightly diffrent river with no real Salmon run these days unlike some of the smaller rivers.

Beautiful photos. You clearly enjoy photography. My first time out boat fishing has imprinted in my mind, it was thick snow lying and the sea was calm, when the little boat stopped and bobbed lazily, I dangled my line, then looked around me, the land was white, there were small cars,people and animals going about their day, no fish biting, but I just remember feeling this extremely, peaceful detachment from life and its problems. Fly fishing looks fiddly to me? Hope your well as can be?

 

[Steff1337]

Welcome to all the new members! I hope you enjoy the forum.

 

[Zawsze Smutny Chłop]

Hello, I will leave this world probably in 2025.

Short details about my life:
-first suicide thoughts at age 16, now I am 23 years old
-168 cm of height and 53 kg of weight, even though I am a grown man
-severe spine problems (degeneration and scoliosis)
-despised and rejected by society
-chronic isolation from other people since the age of 15
-being exteremaly boring, no personality, unable to talk to other people
-living in the countryside
-never been loved by a girl, never been in a relationship
-neet, parasite, unemployed (even though I'd like to work but I am nobody for employers)

 

[BobSmoked]

Hi. Nice to meet you to. What sort of jewellery do you make?

Hi, nice to meet you. Im not a teacher but I was once every teachers nightmare.....

Hi, ive given myself until my dog is ready to shuffle off this planet. A couple more years. Its hard and I've promised her if I fail it won't be through lack of trying, but I know what her worst nightmare would be and see it as my duty to keep her safe. So what's on your list of convincing reasons to stay so far?

Hi, ive given myself until my dog is ready to shuffle off this planet. A couple more years. Its hard and I've promised her if I fail it won't be through lack of trying, but I know what her worst nightmare would be and see it as my duty to keep her safe. So what's on your list of convincing reasons to stay so far?

Beautiful photos. You clearly enjoy photography. My first time out boat fishing has imprinted in my mind, it was thick snow lying and the sea was calm, when the little boat stopped and bobbed lazily, I dangled my line, then looked around me, the land was white, there were small cars,people and animals going about their day, no fish biting, but I just remember feeling this extremely, peaceful detachment from life and its problems. Fly fishing looks fiddly to me? Hope your well as can be?

Likewise my friend in regards to be well.

 

[daisymayhem]

Likewise my friend in regards to be well.

Here if you need an ear.

 

[mateusz432]

Hi folks,

I'm 28 y/o man, living with parents in a small town, based in Poland. I barely finished my college and I have a low-level office job now. (after some time neet-ing). I am a little bit depressed and lonely. I found this forum to be a nice space to share my thoughts and talk with others.

Recently I got interest in philosophy. I appreciate existential nihilism. From the other side, I currently familiarizing myself with late Wittgenstein thoughts and postmodernists (Foucault, Derrida, Deleuze). Reading some random philosophical books is for me the best thing to forget about problems and a sad life.

I like to play board games and chess. I like also various computer games. I like to play Among us but I'm very bad in it and I have nobody to play with.

I am open to talk and maybe play some games with people around here because I found this forum to be very lovely.

Nice to meet all of you!

 

[Thisisnotaname]

Hi there.
I'm 40 , man , 10 yo daughter and leaving alone. I love kdrama and vidéos games as my youth age and now hummm it's the same
I have pstd and bpd since 15 yrs. I'm from France and maybe I 'll find mates here to talk about everything.
I'm here to talk about my struggles and suicidal throughts. I'm sure this is not a dating place,I hope so...

Lets talk then

 

[Onelessstraw]

Hi
I've been looking on here for the last month or so now and have finally plucked up the currage to talk. I'm in my late 40s, always felt like I didn't fit in, self harmed, had suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember. I met the love of my life and the noises in my head calmed, they were still there, just quiet. I thought I had found my safe space. I was wrong, they have been having doubts, aren't sure if they want to be married to me anymore after nearly 10 years together. They have strung me along for the last 3 months saying they don't know what they want. I'm heart broken. Both at losing my best friend but also that someone who said they love me can be breaking up with me in this way, no one knows as I'm in limbo, I had to go through the last 90 days acting like everything is normal. One minute getting kisses, the next being told that it's too complicated. I'm broken. I'm not sure why I am holding on, a small glimmer of hope I guess. My mental health has crumbled, I hardly sleep and the last week I have hardly eaten. I'm not sure how I still have a job. I guess I just want someone to talk to.

 

[daisymayhem]

Hi
I've been looking on here for the last month or so now and have finally plucked up the currage to talk. I'm in my late 40s, always felt like I didn't fit in, self harmed, had suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember. I met the love of my life and the noises in my head calmed, they were still there, just quiet. I thought I had found my safe space. I was wrong, they have been having doubts, aren't sure if they want to be married to me anymore after nearly 10 years together. They have strung me along for the last 3 months saying they don't know what they want. I'm heart broken. Both at losing my best friend but also that someone who said they love me can be breaking up with me in this way, no one knows as I'm in limbo, I had to go through the last 90 days acting like everything is normal. One minute getting kisses, the next being told that it's too complicated. I'm broken. I'm not sure why I am holding on, a small glimmer of hope I guess. My mental health has crumbled, I hardly sleep and the last week I have hardly eaten. I'm not sure how I still have a job. I guess I just want someone to talk to.

Hi silly question but how old is he? Could he be having some kind of midlife crisis? From what you've just said he sounds unsure of what he wants and appears to be sending mixed messages. You know what you want so the problems his and he needs to pull his socks up and stop being so flakey. Sorry if I'm sounding unsympathetic towards him, I just dont get why people cant say what they mean.It's not like you've changed over night have you? Is there anything you can put your finger on? You need to tell him it's having a detrimental effect on your mental health and you have to protect yourself. If he has a problem or he feels you've done something then get it out in the open. Limbo is an awful place to be. And good for you for speaking up. I'm 60 and have similar urges as you. It doesn't take much to push us closer to edge.x