Imposter syndrome

[Doctors HATE them]

I feel like I shouldn't be depressed. I've seen people cope with lives that are much worse than mine. All I have to worry about it doing homework. That's my only responsibility and I can't even handle that. I absolutely hate myself.

 

[Pluto]

I always struggled with homework, too. Even as a middle-aged adult, I did a course and still struggled with homework. Found it almost impossible to focus. Probably was ADHD all along and my outcomes might have been very different if there had been support.

When we compare ourselves to others, it's worth keeping in mind that some people are more sensitive than others. Sensitive people often make for great artists, scientists and humanitarians, but are also more prone to depression, especially when the world sucks as much as it does. I and many others share your pain.

 

[Doctors HATE them]

Part of me wishes I was neurotypical and the other part wishes I was dead. We as sentient creatures deserve so much better than life can offer.

 

[SexyIncél]

Depression has low entry qualifications! Depression (and society) whispers bullshit into people's ears, that you're not even entitled to be depressed!

And homework demotivates me because it's wasted work, dictated by some teacher. Ordinarily, people use their learnings to amuse themselves, or even help others

 

[Doctors HATE them]

Depression has low entry qualifications! Depression (and society) whispers bullshit into people's ears, that you're not even entitled to be depressed!

And homework demotivates me because it's wasted work, dictated by some teacher. Ordinarily, people use their learnings to amuse themselves, or even help others

The thing is I don't even want to help others or have fun. Since childhood, all I've wanted is to not exist anymore. I'm just so tired. I feel like a bedridden 100 year old. I've been ready to go for years. When I look at existence, I see imperfections that are so severe that I think life would be better off not existing.
When I say that I mean that even physics should not be the way it is. There is no ethical reason to deprive anything of infinite happiness.
I talked to my dad about this and he brushed away my opinion like I'm insane. He compared the importance I put on happiness to the importance and orphan puts on family. It hurts never having anyone agree. I'm always too radical. But they're the real victims; they're so broken down by existence that they can't fathom a better world. I feel bad for them but hate them at the same time. Why can't there be more people who think the same?

 

[ThomasJ]

Think about Chester Bennington, the frontman of Linkin Park for a second. He had everything. One of the biggest rockstars ever to exist, at the peak of his career, a stellar public image, loved by millions, supportive family, more money than he could ever spend in a lifetime.. and yet he was a deeply unhappy man. And eventually he killed himself at age 41.

What I'm trying to say is that if a man like Chester can feel like this, then you don't need to justify yourself for feeling like it either. Feelings of depression can never not be valid. They need to be accepted as a fact regardless of the circumstance, whether your life is great or terrible. You don't have to hate yourself for feeling the way you do - nobody does.