iwkmsssb
what is it that i am?
- Jun 8, 2026
- 43
i've been tormented for weeks because i've been dreaming about my ex. they aren't even bad dreams and that's the worse part of it all. it's the reminiscing about the good times and mourning what could've been, i can't stop thinking about it no matter how hard i try.
the relationship ended bad, he broke up with me over text and he's ghosted me but i see him often irl. i couldn't cope with the abandonment and blatant ignoring. but the situation is much more complicated and im too tired rn to explain everything. but i distract as much as i can before bed, and i stay up for as long as possible to delay the inevitable. i've been so scared to fall asleep. even when i do manage to fall asleep the dreams hit me multiple times and i wake up crying and feeling like shit every other hour so whatever rest i get isn't restful at all. i don't want to fall asleep but im so tired.
i can't even go a day without thinking about him at least once, at least when im awake i can distract while self harming. its less painful to think about him during the day because i can immediately do something else, but i cant do that at night because all im doing is trying to sleep. i'm on magnesium pills but they haven't been much help, im not sure if taking melatonin directly would be better to knock me out. idk im not too informed, im kinda losing it. fuck make it stop.
the relationship ended bad, he broke up with me over text and he's ghosted me but i see him often irl. i couldn't cope with the abandonment and blatant ignoring. but the situation is much more complicated and im too tired rn to explain everything. but i distract as much as i can before bed, and i stay up for as long as possible to delay the inevitable. i've been so scared to fall asleep. even when i do manage to fall asleep the dreams hit me multiple times and i wake up crying and feeling like shit every other hour so whatever rest i get isn't restful at all. i don't want to fall asleep but im so tired.
i can't even go a day without thinking about him at least once, at least when im awake i can distract while self harming. its less painful to think about him during the day because i can immediately do something else, but i cant do that at night because all im doing is trying to sleep. i'm on magnesium pills but they haven't been much help, im not sure if taking melatonin directly would be better to knock me out. idk im not too informed, im kinda losing it. fuck make it stop.
