I'm scared, please help

[MsMaudlin]

From what I have read it will almost definitely work.
Just make sure you aren't going to be disturbed.
I'm going to make 3 x solutions just incase I puke the first one.
Sending you love and peace ❤ on this site you're never really alone x

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

I don't agree that just because you have SOME fear, that you aren't ready. I'm not sure where some people get the idea that the sign of readiness for self deliverence is the ABSOLUTE & TOTAL ABSENCE of fear... My guess is those who experience that is a minority, considering how many of us typically need benzos, alcohol or something else to quell that remnant remaining fear.... It certainly would be nice to achieve that ideal state of no fear, just like finding the perfectly praceful death. I like to think of it more as each individual has a threshold for the level of fear permissible that would allow one to be okay with ending ones life. I for myself sure the fuck ain't gonna wait till I have no fear, I might be stuck in this shithole for decades! Lol

 

[listeningpost1379]

I failed once seven years ago and the aftermath was so ugly, to this day I feel crippled by the fear, I understand. Wishing you peace.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

With all the things that could have been said you decided to inculcate feeling of guilt

I decided to respond with honesty and candor to what the OP brought up. Zero intent to influence his decision. If he had said, "I wonder how SN would affect me," I would have responded with equal honesty and candor.

Wouldn't it be better if suicide was an acceptable response to great pain, and people who love us would let us go, understanding we no longer want to suffer and we've suffered enough.

OP has attempted before. It's not an impulsive decision here.

Of course it would be better! It would be better if we didn't have SI or fear, either. What should be in life is often not what is, most unfortunately.

The OP has fears and concerns, which he has shared because he wants support. He did not say, "Community, please support me by saying whatever it takes to overcome my fears so I can get on with it. Lie if you need to."

He has attempted before and is still scared, stil has concerns. I directly addressed them. We cannot make informed decisions if we are not given accurate information.

If he were considering buying a car and said, "I wonder what would happen if this car would crash into a wall," he could not make an informed decision if the salesperson ignored his concern, or answered, "The wall would be understanding and give way, and both the car and the wall would go unscathed." It also wouldnt matter if it wasn't his first attempt at buying a car.

 

[hatelife]

I'm scared it won't work. And that when I'd attempted in the past I was actually successful and I'm currently in hell and my punishment is not being able to die. It's a little out there I know but it's been my suspicion

same, my last try was not nice at the end, it did not hurt but after I had fell asleep I think I was near death woke up and felt it, it wasnt something nice and went to call help, its like collapsed after 1 min after that, but still what I saw was weird and I dont think we actually die when our body dies tbh, us ppl dont really smart enough to get this universe time and thing, future can change the past...we live in a block universe..

 

[Pan]

same, my last try was not nice at the end, it did not hurt but after I had fell asleep I think I was near death woke up and felt it, it wasnt something nice and went to call help, its like collapsed after 1 min after that, but still what I saw was weird and I dont think we actually die when our body dies tbh, us ppl dont really smart enough to get this universe time and thing, future can change the past...we live in a block universe..

What did you see ? How did you experience it? What makes you say that we live in a block universe? I find this very interesting...can you elaborate?

 

[Polly]

Is there anything in your life that you believe is insurmountable?

How would you make it worse?

Aside from that, with regard to how your family and siblings will feel. If your parents are still married, there is a chance their marriage will not survive. They may blame one another as being the cause of your choice. When someone commits suicide, the natural response is to look for someone to blame, rather than seeing it as the choice and responsibility of the person whose action it was. You and your siblings have an order in the family, and that is a part of their identities as well as yours; when a sibling is lost, the order is thrown off as well as the sense of self, because being a sibling is part of the self. Suicide leaves a feeling like a gaping hole because it doesn't make sense like an organic or outside cause, especially because no one can know what is inside another person, so they are left with eternal questions. Some will blame themselves for not recognizing signs, for not loving you enough to fill what was missing, for not doing enough even though they had no way of knowing. It is likely that anyone who loves you will hurt so much that they will consider taking their own lives. One or more of your siblings will be far more likely to attempt suicide in the near or distant future. I don't say these things to try to shame you or to change your mind. I am responding to what you said with honesty and candor.

Blatant guilt ripping, far from supportive. This could apply to any one of us deciding to take this path. And yet we have this site, where we support the right to choose.

 

[Pan]

In my best of all possible worlds, the right to ctb would be a given, with Nembutal sold right over the counter. Ditto for tranquilizers. Doctors have too much power over their patients, and jealously hoard their pharmaceuticals, which they pass out to the fortunate few. In the nation of Belize (I own property there). Anyone can get anything over the counter. Surprisingly, Belize has one of the lowest rates of prescription drug abuse in the world.

 

[hatelife]

What did you see ? How did you experience it? What makes you say that we live in a block universe? I find this very interesting...can you elaborate?

I dont remember in exact way, like my mom told me I got into her room and said "there they are around my pillow" and then collapsed and started convulsing.
I dont remember doing any of this though, I only remember falling asleep after 2 minutes after taking amitryptiline 5 grams.
At times though I find it kinda exciting to find out what happens, maybe I will try it again but with SN this time we will see if I do it agian.
Block universe I dont know if its true just and idea from what I saw some scientist talk about it, I think sean carroll said it on an interview