Venting I’m just a loser

[lithium00]

I'm the biggest loser I know. Nothing in my life ever went well and I'm an idiot for not killing myself yet. My father shouldn't have become a father. I've cut myself since I was 10. I never had actual friends like ever. No one likes me. I've seen a couple therapist since I was 11 and none of them could tell me what the fuck is actually wrong with me or they didn't care, I don't even know.
I'm just a fucking retard. I can't do anything. I can't concentrate on anything. I want to pursue hobbies or anything like that but I can't because I either don't have the energy or just can't concentrate.
I get anxious when I have to go literally anywhere. I get anxious when I have to do the smallest task. I feel like everyone hates me.
Everything sucks and I don't know what to do or how to fix that. I thought that everything would be alright and that it would get better but it doesn't. What did I ever do to deserve this. I just want to be a normal human being but I apparently never got that privilege. I just feel bad all the time. I don't want to do this anymore.

 

[bhaloo]

Found my identical twin

 

[soshified]

if i could tell my therapist this is how i feel without the constant pitying and repetitive "it'll get better" i would. this is all too close to how i feel, i'm 22 i have a job a boyfriend but i still feel like such a loser and a waste of space, a joke. it's hard to even laugh without hating myself. i feel you op