Venting i want to go so bad but idk how

[inhabitinglots]

i feel so stupid, everyone else has a set method they can think of and i just have nothing. i was looking into a few and then saw conflicting things about its effectiveness. of course all methods arent gonna be quick and easy but i dont know. something will sound like it works, is inexpensive, and accessible but then someone will say to the contrary. i dont even care about the pain, i just dont want time to regret it. i probably deserve to feel that, that life-flashes-before-your-eyes moment and at one point i wanted to feel it because i wanted every single emotion that would come with what i would do, because i deserved it. i still deserve it but im selfish and im scared of it now. i know that the feeling is probably inevitable, but i would want to minimize it with something quicker, or be so out of my mind in pain im not thinking of regret, other than the "oh my god it hurts" kind? i know immolation might fit that bill but i tried that ages ago and it was a shitshow, i mean ofc ur entire being is hard-wired against doing something like that to yourself so like obviously but i dont know. probably the only that would work for what i want is a gun but i dont have access, i dont think at least, not easily. idk im being stupid. i guess its like all things in life the good stuff isnt cheap or easy lolol im just talking bs sorry

 

[Hollowman]

I highly doubt everyone here has a set method. What were you looking into?

 

[inhabitinglots]

I highly doubt everyone here has a set method. What were you looking into?

definitely not yeah my bad, i realize i ought to not speak so hyperbolic and dramatic. recently i was looking into the "night night" method due to how accessible it seemed but it doesnt sound so effective? but i also cant find many experiences with it. other than that it was FSH and partial. any other method i might have access to (train or jumping) would probably traumatize someone else deeply and i cant bring myself to do that. i mean even fsh and partial would, i think i was/am attracted to the idea of the "night night" method because i could go somewhere secluded where no one regular person would find. the only other "portable" methods i can think of are ones i dont really have access to

 

[Hollowman]

No worries just letting you know you're not alone. Night night is effective but not easy to pull off.