I want to do it but I'm just too much of a coward

[searchingforpeace]

I hate myself I find the dumbest reasons not to do it like 0 what if the SN damages my floor and I survive? Then I research whether SN will damage vinyl? Why do I even care? I think I'm Insane at this point I don't know what I'm doing somebody help me please I don't know what to do
I'm so desperate for connection at this point My girlfriend of two years left six months ago because she has too much going on apparently and doesn't give a crap about me I'm chronically in pain I'm a I can barely walk I am depressed all the time Why can't I just acknowledge my lifes is over

 

[ZeroRedz02]

I am such a coward too, but only for the obvious reason that it could damage my brain at the point that if i would survive to it i wouldn't be able to kill myself cause my body will not work anymore as intented it does terrifying me.. What if i will be so unlucky.

 

[itsgone2]

I have to think it's the brain doing any distraction to get you to survive. I have it too. Any thought may enter. Just distractions

 

[ZeroRedz02]

I have to think it's the brain doing any distraction to get you to survive. I have it too. Any thought may enter. Just distractions

This is my top problem, i'm used to getting distracted easily by my brain..