disjointed
Member
- Mar 8, 2025
- 7
whenever i decide to ctb, i want to be beautiful. i'll get myself all done up before, hair, makeup, nails, outfit, everything. it seems so scary but thinking about being beautiful even in death is comforting. the thought brings me so much peace and acceptance towards ctb. i don't want to say im looking forward to it exactly but it makes it pleasant to think about.
i do feel as if im beautiful and insecurity towards my looks isn't something i struggle with much anymore but that's such a worldly thing and i don't want to be in this world. no matter how i've looked, my mind can't be fixed.
honestly death is such a scary thing and im more scared to die than i am to ctb even though the end result is the same. dying a beautiful death is so serene
i do feel as if im beautiful and insecurity towards my looks isn't something i struggle with much anymore but that's such a worldly thing and i don't want to be in this world. no matter how i've looked, my mind can't be fixed.
honestly death is such a scary thing and im more scared to die than i am to ctb even though the end result is the same. dying a beautiful death is so serene
