the first thing i think about when i wake up is ending it

[failedmind]

i took a trip across the country to a beautiful state for a week by myself to try to distract myself from how messed up my mind has been lately and still, every morning, i open my eyes and my first thought is suicide. so much beauty around me and i still want to die. sad reminder that no matter where i go, there i am. can't escape myself. i wish i was different, born different, never born at all, i don't know.

 

[iwkmsssb]

i struggle with the same thing. by textbook i should be happy, but im not no matter how hard i try. my mind just wanders in the comfort of knowing i could end it when things become too unbearable. i hope you can find peace one day.

 

[itsgone2]

Yes. Change of scenery does nothing.
I'm scared. Too far gone I think.

 

[SASU-KE]

I've given up trying to be happy. I'm just waiting for the clock to run out. It's bound to take years though.


Still,in the morning, it's the first thing I think about. At night, it's the thing I think about before going to bed.

 

[Oiled Sandwich]

Same. One of the few things I enjoy is sleeping throughout the day. The thought of eternal sleep is nice in my book.

 

[endboss]

I also want to die when I wake up.