Story i think my day finally came.

[Teleftaía Anapnoí]

How are you guys? I'm worse than the last few days. I just went into a psychotic crisis. A manic crisis with psychotic features. I discovered a betrayal. Yes, my daughter's mother. I feel broken. In the midst of my psychotic episode, she simply took her bags and the baby and left. I never thought I would be abandoned like this. Now, it gave me the strength I needed. I'll start taking my anti-emetic at 9pm. I intend to redo him at 11pm. Between 00:30 and 01:00 I will be taking the SN. That's my plan. Everything can still be changed. I have so much to write. I've already written a book, but I need to say even more things. Now I'm singing, maybe I'll post a video so you can hear my voice for the last time. Thank you, you were the only ones who helped me. The therapist couldn't do it, my wife abandoned me, my daughter isn't here to contain me. I love her so much. Her name is Aurora. She was supposed to be the Dawn of my days. It hurts me so much to leave. I wanted so much to see her grow up. But I'm destroyed. My psyche and my heart are in pieces.

I intend to be online with you throughout the process. So whoever is here around this time can ask me anything until I pass out. Maybe I need to write in Portuguese, after all I'm not a native speaker and I don't speak English as my main language. In fact, it is now 8:37pm in Brazil. Thanks for all guys. This forum helped me in my worst moments. It's a shame it has come to this. But I knew this time would come. My bus is going to pass, I hope I can catch it.






Listening to this one:









Oh god, my smile is really a rifle.

 

[Crono]

Ei, eu também estou péssimo, desejando morrer mais do que nunca

É triste que as coisas vão acabar assim, mas enfim, desejo boa sorte a você e que sejam tranquilos os seus últimos momentos

 

[tfnb]

I'm sorry that it took something traumatic to bring you to peace. Good luck on your journey.

 

[SVEN]

So sorry for your pain. I hope all goes well with you and you find peace. Vaya con Dios hermano. (I know it's Spanish, but it's the nearest I know and is well intended).

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Man I can relate. The only reason I'm still here is because my daughter fights for me. Her and I are emotionally identical. My ex (who I still live with) knows the day I have to be without my daughter is the day I CTB. So yes I feel your pain. I hope you find your peace my friend.

 

[Teleftaía Anapnoí]

Unfortunately I didn't make it. People came to the house to see if I was okay. It wasn't today, but it will be soon. Thank you very much for all the kind words I received in this post. Thanks. I also wish things were different.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really dreadful what you are going through, it's cruel how people suffer so much in this existence, I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom you are searching for.