Venting It's horrible to write this but I no longer care that I will ctb and leave my pets

[curiousbeing]

My depression become so bad that I don't care for my dog. Yes, I still feed her, feel guilty , walk daily . Other people care for her, she isn't alone

But in the past , the thought of leaving my dog behind / abandoning her was reason which was powerful enough to stop me from active suicidal thoughts ie planning.

Now, I cry , I feel bad, but deep down , I am okay with leaving her behind

Just horrible that how much depression can advance

How about you ?

Sorry if my post was rude , I don't feel well

 

[whywere]

1st off, I have massive depression, so I can relate so very well with you on this.

But you ARE such a caring, kind and loving soul, just probably look at how your dog responds to you, as that is a very natural way of saying just how important you are.

Yes, depression SUCKS BIG TIME, it is a huge dark cloud that hangs over me sometimes and it is VERY hard to realize that there is love and kindness waiting for me and YOU in this world, but it is.

I told myself decades ago, that the damn depression was NOT going to win no matter what, as I be damned if I am going to buckle down to it and neither will you, as you are family and a great friend to me and I want the best for you.

If I may ask, have you tried meds, different types of treatments, etc.?

Also, NEVER EVER be sorry for not feeling well, that is where I and I bet so many other family members here are for, as far as support and I want you to know that you NEVER EVER walk alone in this world and that we CAN FIGHT the damn dark clouds of depression and WIN, I 100% of complete faith in you and always will period.

There are days that I can barely function, as far as getting in such a deep funk from the damn depression, BUT there in again, I be damned if it will EVER win and/or defeat me and you are in the same boat with me and we CAN and we WILL win together as family.

That is one of the wonderful aspects of SaSu, is all the loving, and the deep connections to help each other out.

Please give your dog a pat on his/her head for me and sunshine and fields of flowers to you always.

Walter