louboutinsuicide
i don wanna die i jus dk how 2 live
- Dec 30, 2025
- 26
this is the first time i am dealing with a breakup in sobriety. awful twists and turns. i am capable of yearning and clawing at myself and despising him and laughing at him in the same hour. if i come to the conclusion that it is not surmountable then every memory will decay under the most recent feelings he gave me which have been feral cat bristling panic and random bursts of tears and loneliness
yet again i've been misinterpreted. it's easy to stalk people online nowadays who don't want you looking at their profile. might as well go private bozo. unless you like knowing that i'm watching when essentially my arms are strapped to the back of a chair and rope cuts my cheeks and eliminates the effectiveness of my vocal chords
posting about pretending to have a good time. followed by some bullshit quotes from the mentality of someone who feels like he won. i know what he's thinking because he told me. that i was insane for believing it would work, that i am no prize, that no one will ever treat me like he has.
so he'll forever be the victim of me. no, i don't like that. own your part, at least own your agency and how you could have disappeared earlier. and ill own mine. the fact that i see the signs constantly yet try to make that elephant in the room hide behind the lampshade. the fact that i stepped on that rake again thinking god sent me an angel and in the end being left with nothing but another body roaming this earth that wishes nothing for me but pain and death. bad energy. and the scales aren't leveled i believe, i haven't garnered enough constant unconditional respect or love from many people.
i don't think he's necessarily happy, but one must convince themselves of anything and everything in order not to fall into despair. why don't people provide services like "ill stalk your man for you". that sounds like a great business model.
there are some things i know he will never experience without thinking of me or regretting.
.weve been at every corner of the county. try bringing a new girl anywhere
.hes moved into a huge house above budget that we were supposed to move into together. do you see me in every room, what could have been? whoever takes up that space, will they be able to replace all of me?
.little gestures, he's always neglected to acknowledge those because they "dont make up for the rest of it". who will make you dinner. who will take your clothes off when you get off of work. who will try to make your physical life easier for you.
.he may think of the times he has told me that i could fuck up a million more times and he'd still be mine. the reconcile and the promises, holding me down to talk sense into me.,,,…….
.and if anything, if anything at all, he will never be touched or[ insert insensitive sexual descriptions here] as good on the awesome sex scale at the level i reached with him. that's the only thing i can pride myself on and say confidently and that says a lot about what i think about myself.
i'm doing the same thing i have accused him of. dark colored glasses. i don't wan to remember the kindness you gave me, the generosity in your catering to my needs, when i felt safe and secure oh man did i feel safe and secure. stomping around in rick owens. picking out brands of caviar. no, all of that must be erased or else i won't win then. please continue to be perceived as the enemy. because whether i like to say it out loud or not i am the common denominator.
the effectiveness of denial… is insanity. i was left with a child in my stomach and will now go through that entire extraction process alone after i begged him to be there for me for it no matter what. happy friday the 13th. you've fucked everything up again, louboutin
yet again i've been misinterpreted. it's easy to stalk people online nowadays who don't want you looking at their profile. might as well go private bozo. unless you like knowing that i'm watching when essentially my arms are strapped to the back of a chair and rope cuts my cheeks and eliminates the effectiveness of my vocal chords
posting about pretending to have a good time. followed by some bullshit quotes from the mentality of someone who feels like he won. i know what he's thinking because he told me. that i was insane for believing it would work, that i am no prize, that no one will ever treat me like he has.
so he'll forever be the victim of me. no, i don't like that. own your part, at least own your agency and how you could have disappeared earlier. and ill own mine. the fact that i see the signs constantly yet try to make that elephant in the room hide behind the lampshade. the fact that i stepped on that rake again thinking god sent me an angel and in the end being left with nothing but another body roaming this earth that wishes nothing for me but pain and death. bad energy. and the scales aren't leveled i believe, i haven't garnered enough constant unconditional respect or love from many people.
i don't think he's necessarily happy, but one must convince themselves of anything and everything in order not to fall into despair. why don't people provide services like "ill stalk your man for you". that sounds like a great business model.
there are some things i know he will never experience without thinking of me or regretting.
.weve been at every corner of the county. try bringing a new girl anywhere
.hes moved into a huge house above budget that we were supposed to move into together. do you see me in every room, what could have been? whoever takes up that space, will they be able to replace all of me?
.little gestures, he's always neglected to acknowledge those because they "dont make up for the rest of it". who will make you dinner. who will take your clothes off when you get off of work. who will try to make your physical life easier for you.
.he may think of the times he has told me that i could fuck up a million more times and he'd still be mine. the reconcile and the promises, holding me down to talk sense into me.,,,…….
.and if anything, if anything at all, he will never be touched or[ insert insensitive sexual descriptions here] as good on the awesome sex scale at the level i reached with him. that's the only thing i can pride myself on and say confidently and that says a lot about what i think about myself.
i'm doing the same thing i have accused him of. dark colored glasses. i don't wan to remember the kindness you gave me, the generosity in your catering to my needs, when i felt safe and secure oh man did i feel safe and secure. stomping around in rick owens. picking out brands of caviar. no, all of that must be erased or else i won't win then. please continue to be perceived as the enemy. because whether i like to say it out loud or not i am the common denominator.
the effectiveness of denial… is insanity. i was left with a child in my stomach and will now go through that entire extraction process alone after i begged him to be there for me for it no matter what. happy friday the 13th. you've fucked everything up again, louboutin
