I no longer believe I have a mental illness, I believe I am depressed because of Capitalism.

[painofzed]

I have stopped taking all of my medication a couple weeks ago and I feel no different, not more depressed, not less. My issues all stem from feeling like (and knowing) that under this system I have no real power. My kids have been the only thing tethering me to this planet, but now I see what is needed. I am planning on taking my life out of protest of capitalism. I will leave behind a note, several letters to the press, and multiple postings online about my intent and protest before I do it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't think it's worth to kill yourself bc of capitalism to protest.

This is how the world works. What's your alternative system that would be better?

My issues all stem from feeling like (and knowing) that under this system I have no real power.

I think under other "systems" you would have even less power.

 

[painofzed]

I don't think it's worth to kill yourself bc of capitalism to protest.

This is how the world works. What's your alternative system that would be better?


I think under other "systems" you would have even less power.

So you're suggestion is we should just let them continue to fuck us eternally, while the haves become richer and the have nots more numerous? I no longer wish to contribute the rest of my lives to the haves. I'd rather take it in protest than give them one more second of my life to enrich them. The disdain I have for the capitalist class cannot be expressed in words, I wish to express it with my death.

 

[Exitwings]

Shit Life Syndrome sucks and capitalism is absolutely evil, I agree.

But also antidepressants are hit or miss. If the ones you were on had no effect, you should talk to whatever doctor to try different ones, probably.
Tbf antidepressants aren't supposed to make you feel good, so much as help you function... and I don't have depression myself, so take this with a grain of salt.

 

[fade to black]

If your only reason to CTB is to protest capitalism, I can assure you that the people you distain won't be effected at all. Only the ones that you love will be.

 

[astr4]

capitalism is the reason for so many of us wanting to ctb. no ones value should be tied to how much profit they can make you but the system doesn't care and most people would rather turn a blind eye.

on one hand i commend you for the intensity of your values but on the other hand (and this is a discussion i have with myself all the time) are there no other options? i'm a believer in revolution and radical change so i wonder sometimes if instead of CTB i could set up some kind of community group or charity organization or something, idk. i wonder if that middle path truly exists for me sometimes, and i wonder the same for you.

 

[painofzed]

Shit Life Syndrome sucks and capitalism is absolutely evil, I agree.

But also antidepressants are hit or miss. If the ones you were on had no effect, you should talk to whatever doctor to try different ones, probably.
Tbf antidepressants aren't supposed to make you feel good, so much as help you function... and I don't have depression myself, so take this with a grain of salt.

I've tried every antidepressant there is, magnetic stimulation, ketamine infusion therapy, doctor prescribe weed, and the only thing really left is electro shock therapy which is just a road I'm not willing to go down. My depression has been classified as treatment resistant, and I'm starting to think I am just built so that I do not function in this society. So I'm going to make a statement to that effect.

capitalism is the reason for so many of us wanting to ctb. no ones value should be tied to how much profit they can make you but the system doesn't care and most people would rather turn a blind eye.

on one hand i commend you for the intensity of your values but on the other hand (and this is a discussion i have with myself all the time) are there no other options? i'm a believer in revolution and radical change so i wonder sometimes if instead of CTB i could set up some kind of community group or charity organization or something, idk. i wonder if that middle path truly exists for me sometimes, and i wonder the same for you.

How do you form a revolution against a government that has death robots that can eliminate you before you know they are there? I truly think we are beyond the point of revolution and it is going to take extreme acts to fight back at this point.

If your only reason to CTB is to protest capitalism, I can assure you that the people you distain won't be effected at all. Only the ones that you love will be.

No, but every day I show up to work and make profit for them I benefit them. I refuse to continue to bow down.

 

[astr4]

also wanna add that you might be interested in reading some huey p newton. he was one of the founders of the black panther party. and something he wrote which stuck with me was regarding suicide.

I do not think that life will change for the better without an assault on the Establishment, which goes on exploiting the wretched of the earth. This belief lies at the heart of the concept of revolutionary suicide. Thus it is better to oppose the forces that would drive me to self-murder than to endure them. Although I risk the likelihood of death, there is at least the possibility, if not the probability, of changing intolerable conditions. This possibility is important, because much in human existence is based upon hope without any real understanding of the odds. Indeed, we are all—Black and white alike—ill in the same way, mortally ill. But before we die, how shall we live? I say with hope and dignity; and if premature death is the result, that death has a meaning reactionary suicide can never have. It is the price of self-respect.

Revolutionary suicide does not mean that I and my comrades have a death wish; it means just the opposite. We have such a strong desire to live with hope and human dignity that existence without them is impossible. When reactionary forces crush us, we must move against these forces, even at the risk of death. We will have to be driven out with a stick.

idk if i have the energy to fight so i don't blame you for wanting to ctb in protest. but if you do have the conviction to die then why not go down swinging, yk? anyways just some food for thought. i hope nothing comes off as invalidating because i'm very much in the same boat, but i wanted to offer a more hopeful perspective.

 

[GuylumBardot]

Why don't you try reading some Marx etc. and organizing with anti capitalist parties, study groups etc nearby?

 

[Priestess]

I don't believe I have a mental illness either. I think my suicidality is perfectly rational. I am seriously ill, disabled and in a lot of pain (cancer treatment, had a stroke and chronic migraines). This has left me unable to work, so I rely on disability benefits, which are a pittance and very insecure. This means i can't afford a decent place to live, so i live in horrible conditions, poor and hungry. My health won't improve so my situation won't improve. It's not crazy to not want to spend another 50 years like this.

 

[sserafim]

Capitalism is the root of all evil

 

[painofzed]

Why don't you try reading some Marx etc. and organizing with anti capitalist parties, study groups etc nearby?

Do you honestly think I got to this point without reading extensive anti-capitalist literature? Including Marx.

also wanna add that you might be interested in reading some huey p newton. he was one of the founders of the black panther party. and something he wrote which stuck with me was regarding suicide.



idk if i have the energy to fight so i don't blame you for wanting to ctb in protest. but if you do have the conviction to die then why not go down swinging, yk? anyways just some food for thought. i hope nothing comes off as invalidating because i'm very much in the same boat, but i wanted to offer a more hopeful perspective.

I admire your will to fight the system, but I don't believe it's possible to fight the system within the system and I'm not (call me a coward) willing to fight it in a way which would directly land me in jail, what good would that do either.

 

[GuylumBardot]

Do you honestly think I got to this point without reading extensive anti-capitalist literature? Including Marx.

Hey, plenty of people these days are vaguely aware of anti-capitalism and have not read any theory. Sorry for assuming, but my point remains. Organizing might give you the sense of fighting back and having a purpose in life.

 

[painofzed]

Hey, plenty of people these days are vaguely aware of anti-capitalism and have not read any theory. Sorry for assuming, but my point remains. Organizing might give you the sense of fighting back and having a purpose in life.

I no longer believe it is possible to fight the system from within the system, and I'm not willing to fight it in a way that I think has a slim chance of working but would land me directly in prison. How do you form a revolution against a government that can send flying death robots to take you out before you are aware of them?

 

[GuylumBardot]

I no longer believe it is possible to fight the system from within the system, and I'm not willing to fight it in a way that I think has a slim chance of working but would land me directly in prison. How do you form a revolution against a government that can send flying death robots to take you out before you are aware of them?

By building dual power, spreading class consciousness and being prepared for the inevitable breakdown of capitalism due to its internal contradictions. The revolution is very highly unlikely to look like a group of rebels fighting open war against the military in the imperial core

 

[painofzed]

By building dual power, spreading class consciousness and being prepared for the inevitable breakdown of capitalism due to its internal contradictions. The revolution is very highly unlikely to look like a group of rebels fighting open war against the military in the imperial core

I guess I've just been beaten down too far for that fight. When I post my notice of intent on this forum right before the deed is done, you all spread the news for me. Maybe (probably not) my death will have some good outcome for the world.

 

[chester]

When I post my notice of intent on this forum right before the deed is done, you all spread the news for me.

As much as I admire your dedication, I think this is a very naive thing to count on. Most of us aren't here because we want to change the world. We're here because we want to escape the world. This is not a place to recruit activists.

 

[painofzed]

As much as I admire your dedication, I think this is a very naive thing to count on. Most of us aren't here because we want to change the world. We're here because we want to escape the world. This is not a place to recruit activists.

I also want to escape the world, I'm giving myself a .0000001% chance that maybe that does some good. I have no delusions of grandeur.

 

[MBG]

The press will ignore your letters: to do otherwise sets a bad precedent.

Over the past decade or so there's been a lot of research showing magic mushrooms are very effective for treating anxiety, depression, PTSD and even treatment resistant depression. In the US many cities and 2 states have decriminalized or legalized it. On Nov 4 Massachusetts will vote to join them (6 cities in MA have already decriminalized them).

Do your homework and research before use.

Try everything before throwing away everything!

 

[Timothy7dff]

I'm not sure there's a single capitalist country in the world today. It's crony capitalism at best. When the same people make the laws, run the courts, run the companies, etc, it's not capitalism.

It's even worse with the tech companies.

One example. Look at the housing crisis from the 2000s. All the banks got bailed out because they were "too big to fail". There's no such thing as "too big to fail" in capitalism. If company bankrupts itself through bad business, then they go out of business.

I think a lot of people are suicidal because of finances, but it's hardly the result of capitalism. Capitalism doesn't exist.

 

[painofzed]

One example. Look at the housing crisis from the 2000s. All the banks got bailed out because they were "too big to fail". There's no such thing as "too big to fail" in capitalism. If company bankrupts itself through bad business, then they go out of business.

I think a lot of people are suicidal because of finances, but it's hardly the re

I mean sure call it whatever you want, but what we have is the evolved form of Capitalism, it'll keep right on Capitlisming until all but one of us are a slave.

 

[A Dream of a Dream]

I have stopped taking all of my medication a couple weeks ago and I feel no different, not more depressed, not less. My issues all stem from feeling like (and knowing) that under this system I have no real power. My kids have been the only thing tethering me to this planet, but now I see what is needed. I am planning on taking my life out of protest of capitalism. I will leave behind a note, several letters to the press, and multiple postings online about my intent and protest before I do it.

These neoliberal/capitalist economic systems are a immoral failure, there is indeed gross inequity, the vast majority are suffering, as is the planet, and a small greedy minority sits at the top. there is an alternative, but like all progress and change, it will have to be fought for.

i hope u don't choose to ctb out of protest simply because there would no impact. an alternative must exist, completely disagree with other poster's phrasing. most people if you explained socialism would agree with it. even some balance of regulated capitalism and socialism is more sensible than this gross vampiric system.


the rich have made it a dirty word, meanwhile they love to privatize their profits and socialize their losses. if you don't pay a living wage and provide health care and then force people to rely on the government, that's socialism for the rich. the stagnant wages while productivity went up 20x is outrageous. and they campaign/complain about their taxes and money being spent to help people (bullshit nanny state slogan). it's time to take the word back and explain what it would actually mean and how it would help the masses. and all the deregulation is also what brought us here, allowed for money and power to accumulate in a few hands. time to tax the rich, and corporations who evade taxes through loopholes and blackmail, and close all the trillions in tax evasion. it's gonna be a long fight...

 

[nembutal]

I also want to escape the world, I'm giving myself a .0000001% chance that maybe that does some good. I have no delusions of grandeur.

the only way your message will spread is if some act of violence propels them forward. Refer to- Luke Helder, Connor Sturgeon, Chris Dorner, Ted K, and plenty more.

 

[astr4]

the only way your message will spread is if some act of violence propels them forward. Refer to- Luke Helder, Connor Sturgeon, Chris Dorner, Ted K, and plenty more.

counterpoint to this, tons of martyrs are remembered and cherished.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I agree so much with this. I think we're on our way to a Great Depression, and with climate collapse it's going to get worse for a lot of people. I'm on the road to financial disaster and there are so many reasons why CTB is my answer, and having to mentally prepare myself for homelessness because of me running out of money and seeing capitalism will never go away makes the choice to die so much more easier.

I never used to think people were vile but now? The good ones are trapped on a planet of sheep and sociopaths. i won't be here another 20 years to see it all fall apart.

 

[pain6batch9]

I'm so tired.

I think I'm coming to the end of explaining to people what the problems are and how they can be fixed. I want o join in these conversations, I really want to. I can explain history, politics, economics.

But I'm tired. As long as everyone has a different idea of the ideal system, there will never be one. The world could have been perfect, but the struggle for power is absolute. In the end, this struggle will consume us all.

 

[chasingsarcasm]

I have stopped taking all of my medication a couple weeks ago and I feel no different, not more depressed, not less. My issues all stem from feeling like (and knowing) that under this system I have no real power. My kids have been the only thing tethering me to this planet, but now I see what is needed. I am planning on taking my life out of protest of capitalism. I will leave behind a note, several letters to the press, and multiple postings online about my intent and protest before I do it.

I get it. But counter point, the only people who are going to remember you are your kids and they're not going to understand your protest. They're going to think you're insane. Once we get put on meds that's all the world sees, the medication. Any ideas we have aren't our own, any feelings we have are connected to our medication. We stop being people we turn into our diagnosis. Once they find out you "were off your meds" everything you say in your writing will be ignored.

CTB if you have to. Or you can raise your kids to see the truth of the world.

 

[jexiste]

There hasnt been a second of my existence where I've had a positive net worth. I'm onboard with what you're expressing here, but also I genuinely cannot imagine a more bleak scenario than the working class self-selectively ctbing bc of the alienation of capitalism and wage slavery.

My advice to you: a tragic aspect of capitalism is that all the work of fighting for labor rights falls on the worker. You can't put it all on yourself as an individual though. This is what unions are for... and unions genuinely make a larger difference. I don't know what your trade is but I definitely encourage you to explore that avenues you have with respect to expressing your rights as a laborer and in the context of a labor union.

Tldr: capitalism ruined my life but labor unions are a beacon of hope

 

[needthebus]

I have stopped taking all of my medication a couple weeks ago and I feel no different, not more depressed, not less. My issues all stem from feeling like (and knowing) that under this system I have no real power. My kids have been the only thing tethering me to this planet, but now I see what is needed. I am planning on taking my life out of protest of capitalism. I will leave behind a note, several letters to the press, and multiple postings online about my intent and protest before I do it.

what about political activism instead?

the press wont care likely. people walk past others starving. no one cares about others anymore mostly.

run for office or volunteer with a political group

 

[Little_Suzy]

Which country do you live in? What is your ideal existence if capitalism did not exist? People who want more autonomy and equality often form communal groups. Is this something that interests you? What kind of support system do you currently have? Obsessing over capitalism to the point of contemplating suicide does not sound healthy. I hope you'll feel better soon.