Help I need an escape plan!

[Cookiedough8956]

My boyfriend is planning to have me committed cause apparently "i've been going downhill". I need a way out. I CAN"T be committed. He doesn't wanna hear it at all! He's threatening me- saying " if you don't go on your own I'm calling".
Let's say I lie- and say I did go, how do I make it believable. Idk how to go about this ;(

 

[Kyrok]

He cannot have you committed. He can, though, report you as planning to harm yourself. You can deny that and tell the officers he's extorting or abusing you.

Do the two of you live together? Do you want to continue with him?

 

[Cookiedough8956]

He cannot have you committed. He can, though, report you as planning to harm yourself. You can deny that and tell the officers he's extorting or abusing you.

Do the two of you live together? Do you want to continue with him?

No, we do not, I'm just tired of him always threatening me! That alone makes me want to CTB!
I have by tomorrow evening to admit myself in the hospital. I'm panicking : (. I am so afraid of having officers at my door too regarding this.

 

[Kyrok]

Does he have any evidence you plan to ctb?

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Does he have any evidence you plan to ctb?

None really. Just when I blurt it out when I'm having my "meltdowns"

 

[Kyrok]

Maybe it is time to break up with him?

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Maybe it is time to break up with him?

Hes still gonna call apparently
I tried going that route- he's so damn stubborn!

 

[Kyrok]

Sounds controlling. If the police do a welfare check, explain that it was a break-up and your ex was trying to manipulate you into staying with him. Unlikely they would take you away if you look normal, speak calmly, and your place is tidy.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Sounds controlling. If the police do a welfare check, explain that it was a break-up and your ex was trying to manipulate you into staying with him. Unlikely they would take you away if you look normal, speak calmly, and your place is tidy.

Yea ur right on that...i could def manage to do that...
Im just scared he adds extra things in there. Hes kinda overdramatic at times. And he is so set on me going!
I keep begging i dont wanna ..its like one ear in out the other!

 

[Kyrok]

If you want to end it with him, tell him to move on, that you're no longer his problem.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

If you want to end it with him, tell him to move on, that you're no longer his problem.

Oh boy, i told him many times! Its the same thing. And if i ignore him to send him thr message
Ita a threat
Im sending cops to ur house
Sending cops to ur workplace
Anywhere!

Like wth! I sincerely dont know what to do at this point. I really REALLY dony wanna go.

 

[Kyrok]

If he is contacting you without your initiating, tell him you'll have harassment charges issued against him.
Or, just don't answer when he calls (tell him though first so he doesn't assume you ctb).

 

[Jessica-]

Oh boy, i told him many times! Its the same thing. And if i ignore him to send him thr message
Ita a threat
Im sending cops to ur house
Sending cops to ur workplace
Anywhere!

Like wth! I sincerely dont know what to do at this point. I really REALLY dony wanna go.

Break up with him and tell him to stop. If he continues to make threats, report him to the police for harassment.

 

[Worndown]

He does not sound like a positive influence in your life. More of an agitator.
He could say you talk about self harm when distressed and possibly get a crisis team to do a check.
If it was not for his using this situation as a threat, one could almost believe he cares.
Try to stay in control enough to not be seen as a risk.

 

[Kyrok]

Good Luck @Cookiedough8956. I need to sign off for a bit, nauseous tonight.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Thanks guys...i hope i can figure something out :(

 

[Raggas]

He obviously cares about you. Just tell him you will calm down, but there's no need for you to go to hospital.

 

[EmotionlessWanderer]

He's letting his boyfriend title get to his head and trying to control you. He literally can't force you to commit to the hospital unless he has pure evidence that you're going to CTB.

Ignore or break up with this obsessed fuck ASAP and if the cops bother you do what Kyrok says.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

He obviously cares about you. Just tell him you will calm down, but there's no need for you to go to hospital.

I did. I have very abrupt mood swings-so perhaps thats why he doesnt believe me..
But hes so strict on it now. :/
He doesn't wanna listen or believe me whatsoever.

 

[Meretlein]

I have experience with being involuntary hospitalized for my own good by a loved one. My best advice is that if your boyfriend starts calling in front of you or the police show up is to be completely calm no matter what. Try your best to always look put together, don't get angry or get an anxiety attack. Don't do discoverable self harm, if you need to self harm bite the inside of your mouth instead.

 

[pinkblanket55]

I agree with an earlier post. Your best defence if police or mental health services turn up is to stay calm, seem open to a chat and explain that you're so sorry they got called out and have a story ready about how he's just trying to get revenge because you broke up with him or something like that.
I can TOTALLY relate to people trying to "help" just making you feel more like doing it. Maybe try a negotiation, like, rather than going to some facility where you'd get locked up, say you'll go to a psychologist of your own will (alone) and obviously don't mention ctb intentions. Having said that I know that depends on finances and how the health system works in your country.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I have experience with being involuntary hospitalized for my own good by a loved one. My best advice is that if your boyfriend starts calling in front of you or the police show up is to be completely calm no matter what. Try your best to always look put together, don't get angry or get an anxiety attack. Don't do discoverable self harm, if you need to self harm bite the inside of your mouth instead.

Yeah my self harm isnt obvious..thank good ness.
Thats gonna be hard...ugh :( guess ita just gotta be done.

I agree with an earlier post. Your best defence if police or mental health services turn up is to stay calm, seem open to a chat and explain that you're so sorry they got called out and have a story ready about how he's just trying to get revenge because you broke up with him or something like that.
I can TOTALLY relate to people trying to "help" just making you feel more like doing it. Maybe try a negotiation, like, rather than going to some facility where you'd get locked up, say you'll go to a psychologist of your own will (alone) and obviously don't mention ctb intentions. Having said that I know that depends on finances and how the health system works in your country.

Yeah ! I was supposed to go this coming week! And now hes no
No no u canr wait that long u gotta go now!!
Im so angry. He wants me to tell him things and whenever i do he threatens me this way and when i dont- (and if he gets a feeling) he STILL threatens! I cant win!

 

[Kikoo Loool]

'm sure you can do it. And after that, you may have to consider changing bf...
Cheer up

 

[Meretlein]

Yeah my self harm isnt obvious..thank good ness.
Thats gonna be hard...ugh :( guess ita just gotta be done.

It might be best to slowly distance yourself from your boyfriend. Just tell him you found a new hobby or friend and started feeling better. It is up to you whether you want to lie to him but I would personally tell any lie to avoid getting the psych ward hammer.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

It might be best to slowly distance yourself from your boyfriend. Just tell him you found a new hobby or friend and started feeling better. It is up to you whether you want to lie to him but I would personally tell any lie to avoid getting the psych ward hammer.

I dont like lying to ppl i care about. It hurts :/ and i feel real guilty. But i also dont want to be committed.
If i distance or act any type of way
He starts the whole "ill kill myself if u leave type thing. " like cmon :(

 

[Meretlein]

I dont like lying to ppl i care about. It hurts :/ and i feel real guilty. But i also dont want to be committed.
If i distance or act any type of way
He starts the whole "ill kill myself if u leave type thing. " like cmon :(

Just look at it as lying to protect yourself. It is pretty shitty for him to threaten suicide if you leave him and you could use that against him if he calls the police. I know this sounds bad but sometimes you have to protect yourself.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Just look at it as lying to protect yourself. It is pretty shitty for him to threaten suicide if you leave him and you could use that against him if he calls the police. I know this sounds bad but sometimes you have to protect yourself.

Nothing works believe me :( hes so damn stubborn its aggravating!! Else he'd be like "im gonna slit my throat rn if u leave or i suspecr u leaving"...its damn scary! I NEVER did that.
I know :( i have to hide things from him from now on...
I didnt want our relationship this way..but its like no choice. There will be no good
Being kept in a.hospital

 

[Jc40]

How do you feel about splitting up with him, is it something you can do? Can you be committed just because someone says? You could lie your way out like people have said, it is to protect yourself.
Or you could go in voluntary and get out super quick?

 

[Cookiedough8956]

How do you feel about splitting up with him, is it something you can do? Can you be committed just because someone says? You could lie your way out like people have said, it is to protect yourself.
Or you could go in voluntary and get out super quick?

If i mention any type of. Breakup he has his own meltdowns and start threatening suicide...i really don't wanna go there.

Idk how these things work tbh- im scared if i get am anxiety attack and they restrain and etc.
Ivr always kinda talked my way out of being committed. .. But he might add more or exaggerate it..i have a feelimg im.not gonna win

 

[TiredHorse]

I agree: stay calm and tell any police doing a "welfare check" that he's A) being manipulative because he knows you're planning to break up, or B) vengeful because you've broken up. That sort of manipulation is why the police won't pull you in on his word alone.

And as your boyfriend, he doesn't have the legal pull to get you committed. Pretty much no one does except parents (even of an adult child) or legal spouse --my sister tried to get me committed and she didn't have the legal right, so she tried to convince/bully my mother into it (she refused). He can send the police around, and that opens the door for them to make their own decision, but if you stay calm and have a good story, they can't pull you in without reasonable cause of suspicion. And it isn't hard to talk your way out of it if you stay cool. They had written evidence on me, when TimeCave sent the police my suicide note, but I still talked my way out of it by explaining that I'm a writer, and was corresponding with another writer about a story I was working on.

Key point: stay calm.