Venting I have nothing going on with my life

[NihilusVan]

Four months ago I dropped out of my Philosophy degree. I didn't know what to do, I was tired, I didn't want to read or write or leave my house. I'm tired and I don't know tired of what exactly; my mom keeps a roof over my head but I don't have anything else, no abilities, no talents, nothing. I'm clumsy, awkward, slow-pased and witless. I wished I could just disappear to spare my mother and my dog the suffering, but it isn't possible. I don't want to stand up. Even though I want friends and a boyfriend, and helping others feel satisfaction, elation and joy, but I feel defeated and I can't talk to anyone. They always say I'm weak, perhaps they're right.

 

[Wojaczek]

same, i've been a failure all my life and im doing it again, failing seems to be the only thing i can do.

i do not have the strength to be constantly warding off all these ailments and responsibilities.

i'm basically rendered useless once i reach my limit, tend to hide away and act like i don't exist.

this is where im at right now.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

It's amazing how little I can do. I'm 36 and I never learned anything. I've been so lazy since I was a kid. Pleading "mental health" as an adult got me more down time living at home to be lazy. I simply have no discipline or courage. I am a ruined soul.

The way out is the noose but guess what, I'm too cowardly for that too.

 

[NihilusVan]

It's amazing how little I can do. I'm 36 and I never learned anything. I've been so lazy since I was a kid. Pleading "mental health" as an adult got me more down time living at home to be lazy. I simply have no discipline or courage. I am a ruined soul.

The way out is the noose but guess what, I'm too cowardly for that too.

Sorry if I answer too late, I kind of needed to breathe outside, I guess. You know what's ironic? I had a very busy childhood, I learned to do or live by a bunch of stuff and still I feel useless. It seems like we're looking to be everlasting unachievable superstars, always moving, always studying, always working. It feels unfair to be unable to stop, to gaze at the abyss, I guess. It's tiring.

 

[chudcell]

Four months ago I dropped out of my Philosophy degree. I didn't know what to do, I was tired, I didn't want to read or write or leave my house. I'm tired and I don't know tired of what exactly; my mom keeps a roof over my head but I don't have anything else, no abilities, no talents, nothing. I'm clumsy, awkward, slow-pased and witless. I wished I could just disappear to spare my mother and my dog the suffering, but it isn't possible. I don't want to stand up. Even though I want friends and a boyfriend, and helping others feel satisfaction, elation and joy, but I feel defeated and I can't talk to anyone. They always say I'm weak, perhaps they're right.

Listen, its not the end for you. You're just going through a transition period. Life has many challenges, and things can change. Dont be so hard on yourself. Theres other options and doors that open. If you need to talk my dms are open. Best wishes

 

[NihilusVan]

same, i've been a failure all my life and im doing it again, failing seems to be the only thing i can do.

i do not have the strength to be constantly warding off all these ailments and responsibilities.

i'm basically rendered useless once i reach my limit, tend to hide away and act like i don't exist.

this is where im at right now.

Listen, its not the end for you. You're just going through a transition period. Life has many challenges, and things can change. Dont be so hard on yourself. Theres other options and doors that open. If you need to talk my dms are open. Best wishes

Thank you for replying! I really thought there wasn't much hope in venting, but there's actual people listening! Thank you again!!!