Venting I hate my own personality and the way I behave

[Le temps perdu]

I feel like I'm very ignorant, and stupid. Sometimes I feel like I don't know how to communicate or interact with people. I feel like I only ruin everything. I feel like all I do is make other people uncomfortable or hurt them. My emotional intelligence is too low. I feel ashamed of myself.

I also regret that since around 2020, I have been using binge eating to cope with my emotions. As a result, my BMI has reached 40. Since my stomach started having problems, I've realized that many times I keep eating even when I'm not hungry. Although I know that maybe a lot of my suffering comes from my environment, I also feel like I have made my situation worse myself. Maybe I should have died earlier. Maybe I deserve this. I regret that I didn't end my life before my body started having problems.

 

[EndlessRage]

I feel like I'm very ignorant, and stupid. Sometimes I feel like I don't know how to communicate or interact with people. I feel like I only ruin everything. I feel like all I do is make other people uncomfortable or hurt them. My emotional intelligence is too low. I feel ashamed of myself.

I also regret that since around 2020, I have been using binge eating to cope with my emotions. As a result, my BMI has reached 40. Since my stomach started having problems, I've realized that many times I keep eating even when I'm not hungry. Although I know that maybe a lot of my suffering comes from my environment, I also feel like I have made my situation worse myself. Maybe I should have died earlier. Maybe I deserve this. I regret that I didn't end my life before my body started having problems.

I don't think it is your fault. You just found and got yourself into a bad coping method.
There are alternatives to cope with your emotions, maybe listening to music, watching movies, playing video games if you're into that. Whatever keeps you distracted in a good way; There are bad copes and there are healthy copes, you should also try to get on a diet ( do not starve yourself or anything ) having a diet will help you a lot.

 

[Le temps perdu]

I don't think it is your fault. You just found and got yourself into a bad coping method.
There are alternatives to cope with your emotions, maybe listening to music, watching movies, playing video games if you're into that. Whatever keeps you distracted in a good way; There are bad copes and there are healthy copes, you should also try to get on a diet ( do not starve yourself or anything ) having a diet will help you a lot.

Thank you for your kind words and advice, I'll try to keep it under control.

 

[eeriepuff]

I feel like I'm very ignorant, and stupid. Sometimes I feel like I don't know how to communicate or interact with people. I feel like I only ruin everything. I feel like all I do is make other people uncomfortable or hurt them. My emotional intelligence is too low. I feel ashamed of myself.

I also regret that since around 2020, I have been using binge eating to cope with my emotions. As a result, my BMI has reached 40. Since my stomach started having problems, I've realized that many times I keep eating even when I'm not hungry. Although I know that maybe a lot of my suffering comes from my environment, I also feel like I have made my situation worse myself. Maybe I should have died earlier. Maybe I deserve this. I regret that I didn't end my life before my body started having problems.

i know exactly how you feel. talking to others is so hard i overthink the FUCK out of my interactions with every single person i come across and am constantly hoping i do and say the right thing in order to appease the other person and make them happy.

 

[Kokonoe]

i hate my personality and the way i behave, too. every single time i watch myself say or do anything, i wish i could just make it stop. but i can't really do anything about it. it's upsetting.