Discussion I don't remember when the sky was still blue

[Henryk]

I have chronic depression and that means I have no idea when this all started. The feeling is that I've been suffering my whole life and honestly I can't stand living this way anymore. In fact, I believe that living in suffering is not living in fact, but torture that has no end. There are still people in this world that I love and I wish they didn't suffer with my death but I think I've spent so much time living for others that this time I need to be a little more selfish and think about what I believe is best for me.
i wish i was braver and could end it all at once but inside me there is a fear of being wrong that prevents me from acting, but one thing i am sure of, it may not be today or tomorrow but at some point i will commit suicide because deep down I know it's just a matter of time.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I have chronic depression and that means I have no idea when this all started. The feeling is that I've been suffering my whole life and honestly I can't stand living this way anymore. In fact, I believe that living in suffering is not living in fact, but torture that has no end. There are still people in this world that I love and I wish they didn't suffer with my death but I think I've spent so much time living for others that this time I need to be a little more selfish and think about what I believe is best for me.
i wish i was braver and could end it all at once but inside me there is a fear of being wrong that prevents me from acting, but one thing i am sure of, it may not be today or tomorrow but at some point i will commit suicide because deep down I know it's just a matter of time.

Frustrating thing about depression is we are aware are impression of the world is poisoned with darkness…

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you wish for as it really does sound like you've suffered a lot. It certainly can be tiring and torture feeling so trapped here and it's completely understandable just wishing to be gone from this hellish world.
I could never personally just continue to exist only for the sake of others, as after all the fact that we were brought into this world in the first place was never our fault, it was due to the selfish actions of others.