I don't know how to fix anything.

[Sweetcheeks]

I keep looking for ways, to make my life feel like it's worth living. I keep worrying about the guilt. That I'm leaving my only real sibling with no one. The rest of our close family is dying. I can't believe how stupid I am and how easily it is to believe what people say. And yo actually have positive emotions over things that have never happened. I'm getting tired of looking for ways. I'm tired of being made to look like a loser. I just need one thing, bad enough to make me try again. Maybe this depression will be enough. It feels like it.

 

[Afterglow]

It's kind of a balancing act. Whether the pain you can stop from inflicting upon you is greater than the pain your passing would inflict onto others.

I hope things get better for you. I really do. Hang in there for now, sister.