new life

new life

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
276
Yeah exactly.

yeah I want my body to be found so ctbing in my apartment is not an option.

Yeah I'm staying alive for now to see what happens with this coronavirus but I'm at the brink of ctbing so I could change my mind at any moment.
I wish you peace in whatever you choose. I am going in augast.
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
I wish you peace in whatever you choose. I am going in augast.
Thank you, I'll either be in a different country by August or dead =D
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
See you in another life, even though i don't believe in after life.
Haha you to, and yes I don't believe in that either =)
 
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Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
I have no idea how I manage to exist! I sleep three hours a night for over five years now..I'm a freakin retard for not ending this bullshit already
Peace/hugs
 
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new life

new life

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
276
Haha you to, and yes I don't believe in that either =)
I am not the only one then that does not believe in life after death. At least im not a loner on that subject.
I have no idea how I manage to exist! I sleep three hours a night for over five years now..I'm a freakin retard for not ending this bullshit already
Peace/hugs
I dont know how i exist sometimes so you are not the only one. Sometimes i can't sleep either without thinking about ctb. You are not a retard for not ending it already as it is a big decision to make, and i have not succesfully ended it yet eiither, i just keep having failed attempts. Peace and hugs to you too.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I am giving up as i want to ctb, i have never been so certain. I might take a look at those videos thank you. It is scripted and i can't seem to follow that script and be normal like everybody else.

Well, I suck at following that script too, although I assume you suck even more at it. However, what I have in mind is, basically, mechanical memorization of answers. An example of what I mean:

– Hello! How are you?
– I'm fine. How are you?

It takes zero social skill to partake in something like that. Everyone can learn some basic answers which will always work. Of course, the discussion can take any direction after that point, but job interviews are more predictable. I don't know exactly how it works in your country, but in most countries you usually get asked questions like these during a job interview:

– Could you tell me a little bit about yourself?
– Where did you work before?
– What are your strenghts?
– What are your weaknesses?
– Why do you want this job?
– What attracted you to this company?
– Why should we hire you?
– Do you have any questions?

And so on. You can prepare answers to these questions in advance. If you think it's difficult to come up with good answers, you can always ask people here for help.
 
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oxymoron

oxymoron

Arcanist
Jul 18, 2019
439
Every day we all live in pain and have to through shit. How do you all manage to get through each day until it is time to ctb for you.
Guess it's a day to day act for me. One day pretty much bleeds into the other and I'm glad that it's over while ascertaining myself that I'm shorter of breath and a day closer to my death. You get used to it, the suffering. Of course I'll CTB soon but that's what my life looks like at the moment.
 
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new life

new life

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
276
Well, I suck at following that script too, although I assume you suck even more at it. However, what I have in mind is, basically, mechanical memorization of answers. An example of what I mean:

– Hello! How are you?
– I'm fine. How are you?

It takes zero social skill to partake in something like that. Everyone can learn some basic answers which will always work. Of course, the discussion can take any direction after that point, but job interviews are more predictable. I don't know exactly how it works in your country, but in most countries you usually get asked questions like these during a job interview:

– Could you tell me a little bit about yourself?
– Where did you work before?
– What are your strenghts?
– What are your weaknesses?
– Why do you want this job?
– What attracted you to this company?
– Why should we hire you?
– Do you have any questions?

And so on. You can prepare answers to these questions in advance. If you think it's difficult to come up with good answers, you can always ask people here for help.
I probably do not suck at following lifes script even more than you do, and i dont want you to feel that I am spechal because I am not in no way spechal. The mechanical memorization of answers above are the answers I would ordinarily give. The questions that you would typically get asked in ajob interveiw in your country are the same here in the UK. I might try answering theese questions in advance if I get another job interveiw before i ctb, which i doubt it as it would be a waste of the employers time if i am going to ctb in augast anyway.
Guess it's a day to day act for me. One day pretty much bleeds into the other and I'm glad that it's over while ascertaining myself that I'm shorter of breath and a day closer to my death. You get used to it, the suffering. Of course I'll CTB soon but that's what my life looks like at the moment.
I think it is a day to to day act for all of us. I am glad everyday is over aswell as you and other people probably are, however I am sad that I have to wake up and breathe everyday aswell. Like you said thow at least everyday we are here we are a day closer to our death. I think i will get used to the suffering just still have not got used to it yet.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I probably do not suck at following lifes script even more than you do, and i dont want you to feel that I am spechal because I am not in no way spechal. The mechanical memorization of answers above are the answers I would ordinarily give. The questions that you would typically get asked in ajob interveiw in your country are the same here in the UK. I might try answering theese questions in advance if I get another job interveiw before i ctb, which i doubt it as it would be a waste of the employers time if i am going to ctb in augast anyway.

I'm quite certain you're special and I'm quite certain everyone else here is special as well. No ordinary people end up in a place like this. It seems you know what to do, so I say go for it. I wouldn't worry about your employer. They always take a risk when they hire someone. Their employees can die in accidents, get seriously ill, get pregnant, simply decide to quit, and what have you. It sounds like you deserve a job, so I think you should apply.
 
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new life

new life

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
276
I'm quite certain you're special and I'm quite certain everyone else here is special as well. No ordinary people end up in a place like this. It seems you know what to do, so I say go for it. I wouldn't worry about your employer. They always take a risk when they hire someone. Their employees can die in accidents, get seriously ill, get pregnant, simply decide to quit, and what have you. It sounds like you deserve a job, so I think you should apply.
Thanks for your opinion, my question to your statment of "No ordinary people end up in a place like this" is what is an ordinary person in this world. I completely get what you mean by employers taking risks every time they hire. If i see a job and I think i am ready to apply for I will.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
Thanks for your opinion, my question to your statment of "No ordinary people end up in a place like this" is what is an ordinary person in this world. I completely get what you mean by employers taking risks every time they hire. If i see a job and I think i am ready to apply for I will.

I think an ordinary person simply is someone who fits the norm perfectly, or at least well. Someone who doesn't have to struggle with "anomalies" like mental problems, physical problems, social problems, relationship problems, financial problems, family problems, and what have you. Put another way, a boring person.

I keep my fingers crossed that you'll find a job that suits you. You deserve it.
 
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new life

new life

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
276
I think an ordinary person simply is someone who fits the norm perfectly, or at least well. Someone who doesn't have to struggle with "anomalies" like mental problems, physical problems, social problems, relationship problems, financial problems, family problems, and what have you. Put another way, a boring person.

I keep my fingers crossed that you'll find a job that suits you. You deserve it.
Thank you. I am still going in augast, i really hope it works and I find peace. I have planned it all out nearly to the exact detail.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
Thank you. I am still going in augast, i really hope it works and I find peace. I have planned it all out nearly to the exact detail.

Then there are several months left and who knows what will happen in the meantime. Maybe you find a job and your life takes a turn for the better and you lose your death wish. If not, then you have at least tried.
 
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new life

new life

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
276
Then there are several months left and who knows what will happen in the meantime. Maybe you find a job and your life takes a turn for the better and you lose your death wish. If not, then you have at least tried.
We will have to see what happens in the several months left. Even if things did take a turn for the better, I have still made my decision and I am commited to following through.
 
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LonelySoul

LonelySoul

Member
Mar 13, 2020
64
Every day we all live in pain and have to through shit. How do you all manage to get through each day until it is time to ctb for you.

I appreciate the simple little things which life gives me. Mentally it's very hard at times, Winter is the worst time of the year for me. I wish I could hibernate and wake up in Spring. I have become more and more inward, through not being able to make friends or connect with people.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
We will have to see what happens in the several months left. Even if things did take a turn for the better, I have still made my decision and I am commited to following through.

There's never any shame in changing your mind when it comes to such an important decision. Give life a try.
 
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oneside

oneside

Member
Mar 22, 2020
83
Since I already made my mind a month ago, I'm just enjoying life the way I can while my bus is on the way. I'm also learning and working on some methods, so I can be sure it will be a successful departure.
 
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new life

new life

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
276
I appreciate the simple little things which life gives me. Mentally it's very hard at times, Winter is the worst time of the year for me. I wish I could hibernate and wake up in Spring. I have become more and more inward, through not being able to make friends or connect with people.
Sometimes for some peope it is the little thinsg which makes life a little more managable. Mentally it is hard, it is hard mentally for me to keep breathing everyday. I dont really make friends either.
There's never any shame in changing your mind when it comes to such an important decision. Give life a try.
I have done already for the last 22 years. I am so commited to following through, but I understand what you are saying.
Since I already made my mind a month ago, I'm just enjoying life the way I can while my bus is on the way. I'm also learning and working on some methods, so I can be sure it will be a successful departure.
I made my mind up a while ago aswell, I am trying to live through everday in pain just like you and other people. I am still doing some research on my CO method aswell, to ensure it all goes smoothly.
 
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oneside

oneside

Member
Mar 22, 2020
83
I made my mind up a while ago aswell, I am trying to live through everday in pain just like you and other people. I am still doing some research on my CO method aswell, to ensure it all goes smoothly.

CO is also my method, although I'm starting to like SN. I'm gathering all the informations that I can about these two methods. Maybe I will do both. lol
 
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new life

new life

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
276
CO is also my method, although I'm starting to like NS. I'm gathering all the informations that I can about these two methods. Maybe I will do both. lol
I am still planning the final few details, what to do on my final days etc.If you need any help let me know. Were are you finding all the information espechally about CO, i am really struggling. I am having to learn from this site.
 
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oneside

oneside

Member
Mar 22, 2020
83
I am still planning the final few details, what to do on my final days etc.If you need any help let me know. Were are you finding all the information espechally about CO, i am really struggling. I am having to learn from this site.
I'm gathering the informations in the megathreads about SN and CO, they are long, so I'm reading carefully and taking notes. Here they are:

SN: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-megathread.1156/

CO: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/carbon-monoxide-megathread.2053/

I'm also learning from threads of people who already CTB from SN and CO, and how they did it.

Now I'm just waiting this coronavirus fuss to end so I can travel to somewhere nice and finally start the plan.

Soon enough I will be posting a thread about a CO technique that I'm working on which I'm very confident about. Maybe we can discuss more about it in the next days.
 
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