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How do you feel right now?
Thread starterMeteora
Start date
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I should qualify my blasé attitude by saying I'm in the UK so the worse that ever happens is cobwebs. But they do eat wasps, which I'm allergic to, so I'd be happy with any other Australian ones as they are SAF
Really freaked out. There's all sorts of banging and thumping noises from somewhere outside and I can't see anyone or work out what's happening and my anxiety and PTSD have gone into overdrive. It's only the fact that I know I have anxiety and PTSD that are stopping me from flipping completely.
Horrible, gonna quit therapy because it's pointless. Don't feel heard or ever listened to, makes me feel worse after.
Can't get myself to do any work for my degree, like I can't even get myself to sit down for a single minute and finish an assignment.
Tired of this constant battle where one day I feel alright but the next day I feel horrible. Tired of having to do so many things at the same time, I feel overwhelmed. I just want a break, or at least be fine with doing one thing successfully. Instead I bash myself in the head because I 'could' of done more. They say appreciate the little steps you make but I can't, like I expect from myself to do everything right at once otherwise I feel like a loser.
Besides that constant temptation to CTB with the SN I have available now. Unfortunately I can't get myself to not care about the impact it will leave on my family.
Seriously tempted to work out how many houses are on the street behind my garden and buy at least 2 pairs of Bluetooth headphones per household. It'd be worth it.
I crave human connection so much, but I no longer feel like I deserve it. I feel unworthy of people. I feel unworthy of friends, love, and support. I don't want to be saved anymore, I don't deserve it, the world will be better off without me.
Reactions:
lizzywizzy09, JaJu, moshimoshi and 1 other person
First severe migraine since starting new meds. Retreated under duvet. It's getting a bit too warm for this. Definitely not a late spring/summer health condition. That rock bottom I keep talking about? Still not found it.
First severe migraine since starting new meds. Retreated under duvet. It's getting a bit too warm for this. Definitely not a late spring/summer health condition. That rock bottom I keep talking about? Still not found it.
When doing the depression/anxiety screenings, I've never understood the "talking so slow other people may have noticed" but I think I understand if now.
I never got an answer on whether my request for a therapist was authorized or not. It's just as well since I wasn't planning on really trying anyway.
Ultimately that's why therapy would never work on me, because I don't want it to. And there's nothing on this earth that could make me want to except for a romantic relationship which is apparently so far out of my reach that it might as well be impossible.
Oops. Wrong thread. I feel like an idiot, an even bigger one than usual I guess. Last night I went to Jack in the Box and accidentally left before my order was finished. For some reason when he closed the drive thru window on me I thought he was done. I made it all the way home before realizing so I drove back, sheepishly picked up my food, then when I got home again I realized something from my order was missing so either they forgot or I left too early yet again. I'm one of the worst people ever to live. No wonder she doesn't like me.
Reactions:
Ln42, moshimoshi, JaJu and 1 other person
i want continue living and "being happy" (my bf and i went our separate ways last night...) but behind closed doors i want to cut and drink and just destroy myself. all while smiling and feeling ok......
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