how do you feel right now? don’t even think about it, just type.

[darksouls]

sasu is the only place where I feel safe,
I have nowhere else,
I am afraid of losing even that

 

[Webcore]

Cold scared alone

 

[americanoomad]

Defeated that I'm back at this point again. I feel like I'm working so hard to coexist with my mental illness and find a healthy balance—I take my meds, I meditate, I journal, I socialize, I explore hobbies—and everything was okay for a few months. I thought I finally got the hang of things. Today, that insidious numbing feeling crept in again, and now I'm thrown back into the bottomless pit of wanting to hurt myself but feeling obligated not to hurt the feelings of those who love me. It's quite frightening how one moment I was feeling at peace and enjoying my day (literally musing to myself how nothing could go wrong), and within an hour I felt without purpose and completely numb. I know eventually I'll crawl out of this hole, and things will look up again, but I have no idea how long it'll take until that happens. I hate that no matter how hard I try to be "stable," my mental illness ultimately still takes over and messes everything up at any given moment.

 

[jojobanana]

tired and nothing at all

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Depressed and tired. I often question why I was brought into this cruel world.

 

[nitrogenous]

I feel hopeless and overwhelmed. People kept on telling me that everything will get better, but it hasn't been any better so far. It keeps on getting worse and worse. People say they care, but they never shown any act of care and when it comes the time where I can't afford my living expenses anymore, I'm truly alone. When I express my suicidality with immediate plan and means, not a single person gave a shit, not even my medical professionals. So, I guess, there's no hope anymore.

 

[darksouls]

as I lay dying,
all the burdens fell away from me,
I felt peace,
now all the burdens are back,
and they are unbearable,
why did I have to survive sepsis?

 

[IMAFRAIDDAVE]

so fucking frustrated. i should have been dead so long ago but i do not have the resources to get the materials needed for a guaranteed death. i am too afraid to attempt and fail. i just wish i could have some confidence and put all mt effort into succeeding

 

[CaramelAppleStars]

I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow. I feel an intense anxiety thinking about talking to the people there. I have friends there, but I wish I didn't sometimes. I hated when I was lonely, but I miss it so much now. I hate the words that come out of their mouths and I somehow find a way to get stressed out over the things they say.

Not to say they are bad people, I just can't stand human nature. I'm really fucking weird for that I think, but it's true. Humans can't live without social interaction though, and I can't stand it. This wouldn't be a problem if I was dead.

Not wanting to attend class is the only reason I am on right now. I don't want to sleep, but just sitting in the dark will make me think of everything that stresses me out.

 

[igrippedthewheel]

I'm so tired. I thought moving 2,000 miles away from where everyone I loved died or threatened me would help but now I'm just on the brink of homelessness constantly. I have turned away a lot of help because it really just never works. I only have a couple days of rent left so I'm jumping off a building in a week. I put a lot into this life and got nothing. Nobody here deserves me and I'm tired. I think of everything in my past and get so nauseous and angry and all therapists and people will tell you to do is get over it. This is me getting over it.

 

[cookji]

I feel so overwhelmed and lonely

 

[luckyduck]

I have this ever growing knot in my gut I can't seem to shake. I feel trapped.

 

[CatLvr]

Tired. Of the world and the mean, self-absorbed, egotistical people in it. Why are people SO mean?? Especially when you have tried to quietly do the right thing and step back out of their way. Not that I was in the way on purpose -- just how things worked out. But now they are trying to draw me into a drama-filled fuck around that I was trying to avoid. I guess they will figure it out eventually, by my lack of participation, but I am not playing. I am gonna go find a rock to crawl under.

 

[Feldsparc]

Desperate to seek relief from constant anxiety and terrible guilt

 

[NihilDoll]

Irrationally lonely.

 

[Sakura.]

I should have received help in the past from my parent. Maybe today things would have been a little better for me. But I fucking didn't.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Suffering

 

[spiders.in.my.head]

i feel tired, like ive been worn to the bone. i feel bitter and irritated at the smallest of things, and i feel ashamed of how ive been acting recently - constantly snapping at my family and being straight up cruel to them.

 

[AnxiousLife]

I just stopped taking my antidepressants, as I didn't even have motivation, nor energy to take them (ocd made it difficult to know if I took them or no, making me question reality), and I feel a lot more depressed, but also I feel the world being a kind of more real, I don't know how to describe it, but yeah, overall it's worse as these meds helped me somewhat with social anxiety and depression (but all other meds I tried didn't help or had pretty unpleasant side effects)

 

[EscThisPlace321]

I feel really hung over. I've been drinking wayyy too much lately and I haven't really been eating like i should. I just put some stuffed peppers in the oven that I made the other day to kinda finish cooking them because they weren't cooked all the way through. I'm hoping i can eat some of them because I really need to eat. I ate a soup earlier but it wasn't that much...

 

[EmptyBottle]

I'd like to know how users balance productivity with time for themselves, and how to get the right balance (vs, at least for me, avoiding tasks).

Had a nice time in a chat I run/coded

You need -1 more posts to view this content

... both today and yesterday. Also logged my dream to the site as usual, there's more than 600 logs in a row, according to the stats (note that 1 forgotten submission had timestamps adjusted to the time of writing plus a few mins)

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Feel needy, but not bad overall.

I'd like to know how users balance productivity with time for themselves

Define productive. In my definition, I don't do anything productive.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Feel needy, but not bad overall.

Define productive. In my definition, I don't do anything productive.

eg completing tasks assigned (like a cloud assignment), without getting stuck, or forgetting to work on it, or not doing much on a day I worked on it.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

eg completing tasks assigned (like a cloud assignment), without getting stuck, or forgetting to work on it, or not doing much on a day I worked on it.

Assigned? I don't get assigned shit. I just go through the motions, thinking as little as possible, doing a shit job because who cares, it's minimum wage and I get to die someday, finally.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Assigned? I don't get assigned shit. I just go through the motions, thinking as little as possible, doing a shit job because who cares, it's minimum wage and I get to die someday, finally.

At university, tasks get assigned, which aid in passing the course (and eventually getting the IT degree)

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

At university, tasks get assigned, which aid in passing the course (and eventually getting the IT degree)

Oh, a non dropout, that explains it. I dropped out because it doesn't matter anyway. Why help a society that will die anyway.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Oh, a non dropout, that explains it. I dropped out because it doesn't matter anyway. Why help a society that will die anyway.

mmm true.

For me, the degree and a future job would bring $$ I could use to run my site for longer (than just relying on the house and electricity I'm in).

And true, one day I'd not be around (that has it's pros and cons, pro being I don't need to do anything dull, con being I can't chat in my site and some other chatters will miss me).

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

mmm true.

For me, the degree and a future job would bring $$ I could use to run my site for longer (than just relying on the house and electricity I'm in).

Cool. Have fun.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Cool. Have fun.

Tks. Hope conditions improve for u 2.


[side note, this text was added between quoting]:
And true, one day I'd not be around (that has it's pros and cons, pro being I don't need to do anything dull, con being I can't chat in my site and some other chatters will miss me).

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Tks. Hope conditions improve for u 2.


[side note, this text was added between quoting]:
And true, one day I'd not be around (that has it's pros and cons, pro being I don't need to do anything dull, con being I can't chat in my site and some other chatters will miss me).

I was okay until you mentioned being productive but I don't hold that against you.