Venting Has anyone broke you?

[Pistolero114]

Yes. Physically. Psychologically. Emotionally. Financially. There is nothing left. And I have no inclination to reacquire any of it. For what purpose? If I have nothing left then there is nothing of value they can take; ergo.....you can't break me again.

 

[woxihuanni]

I think a Hollywood notion of love and the preachings of psychology make this phenomenon possible, and everyone seems to have at least one such experience.

You know what? It does not matter if your partner has empathy, or 'truly cares about you'. It matters if you want them for a partner, have joy to find in them regardless of their feelings for you, and if you can find the strength not to rely on their caring or 'love' to judge your self-worth. It should be perfectly possible to fuck and otherwise enjoy the spakle of a cluster B, and when they try to devalue you, to just say: I see what you're doing, it doesn't work, honey.

Now that I know this fully (I sensed it only partly), all I need is a fucking time machine.

 

[Moonstruck]

Yes, quite a few people broke some pieces off of me until enough was missing that I didn't feel like myself anymore.
But it's only because I let them.

 

[JimFord99]

If I am honest, I think I broke myself. Slowly but constantly. Others contributed to break me, of course.

 

[Stan]

have you ever seen one of those slow motion videos on Youtube? The one where the melon gets shot and explodes reminds me of me.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I've never been broken by a relationship so to say but the closest thing to that was being broken by my so called best friend. We were together for more than 8 years. She got me on a dangerous path which ended up ruining my life. I blamed myself and constantly punished myself for what happened to me. Everytime I got negative thoughts in my head, blaming her, I would immediately reject it and blame myself and make myself suffer. It took more than a year for me to finally admit to myself that it was because of her. I added the pieces together and I realised she did it for her selfishness, so she could be with some stupid boyfriend of hers who was much older than her. She chose him over me, made me do things because she wanted to be with him. She chose that bastard who she "knew" for only 3 years over me. We had a sisterly love, we couldn't live or function without each other, we were the world for each other. I thought I was the most important person for her like she was to me. I thought our bond was much stronger than that. I'm angry for what she did to me and how lightly she treated it. After the incident happened, my compassion, kindness and empathy was gone. There's nothing good left in me anymore. I'm a vile, useless and horrible piece of garbage who deserves to suffer and die. I still remember that I would always tell her that if I had to choose between a guy and her, I would choose her because our sisterhood was everything to me, she said the same. Yet, she ended up choosing that piece of shit over me. She used and manipulated me just so she could be with him. I will constantly hope and pray that she suffers with him. She deserves it for ruining me.

 

[woxihuanni]

I've never been broken by a relationship so to say but the closest thing to that was being broken by my so called best friend. We were together for more than 8 years. She got me on a dangerous path which ended up ruining my life. I blamed myself and constantly punished myself for what happened to me. Everytime I got negative thoughts in my head, blaming her, I would immediately reject it and blame myself and make myself suffer. It took more than a year for me to finally admit to myself that it was because of her. I added the pieces together and I realised she did it for her selfishness, so she could be with some stupid boyfriend of hers who was much older than her. She chose him over me, made me do things because she wanted to be with him. She chose that bastard who she "knew" for only 3 years over me. We had a sisterly love, we couldn't live or function without each other, we were the world for each other. I thought I was the most important person for her like she was to me. I thought our bond was much stronger than that. I'm angry for what she did to me and how lightly she treated it. After the incident happened, my compassion, kindness and empathy was gone. There's nothing good left in me anymore. I'm a vile, useless and horrible piece of garbage who deserves to suffer and die. I still remember that I would always tell her that if I had to choose between a guy and her, I would choose her because our sisterhood was everything to me, she said the same. Yet, she ended up choosing that piece of shit over me. She used and manipulated me just so she could be with him. I will constantly hope and pray that she suffers with him. She deserves it for ruining me.

For what it is worth coming from a stranger, it sounds like you turn your anger for her towards yourself. I'm sure you are no garbage, and hope that you rediscover your self worth. I got deprioritised by best friends when they got a SO, and it was not pretty. Never did it myself, never betrayed a friend for a SO. But if a conflict arises, almost everyone will chose their SO. That's because we are animals and our best friends cannot fuck us, cannot bring us a glass of water when we are both sleepy and thirsty, cannot make a child with us, cannot be a mate for us. So these friendly bonds will always be broken if they conflict with a mate bond. Normally there is no reason why the two should come into conflict anyway, if it does, there is something wrong with at least two people among the three.

 

[sadgirl2002]

For what it is worth coming from a stranger, it sounds like you turn your anger for her towards yourself. I'm sure you are no garbage, and hope that you rediscover your self worth. I got deprioritised by best friends when they got a SO, and it was not pretty. Never did it myself, never betrayed a friend for a SO. But if a conflict arises, almost everyone will chose their SO. That's because we are animals and our best friends cannot fuck us, cannot bring us a glass of water when we are both sleepy and thirsty, cannot make a child with us, cannot be a mate for us. So these friendly bonds will always be broken if they conflict with a mate bond. Normally there is no reason why the two should come into conflict anyway, if it does, there is something wrong with at least two people among the three.

I turn my anger for her and myself towards myself. I blame myself for what happened to me, even though it started because of her. I'm definitely a piece of garbage. I have no worth anymore. She was in a LDR with that guy and he became the most important to her. One day, she will regret what she did to me and be sad that she lost me. Now, she seems to be doing fine without me and she's still in contact with that bastard. Ugh, she will suffer through him. As long as I'm alive until I ctb, I will keep cursing her. You're right about that.

 

[woxihuanni]

I turn my anger for her and myself towards myself. I blame myself for what happened to me, even though it started because of her. I'm definitely a piece of garbage. I have no worth anymore. She was in a LDR with that guy and he became the most important to her. One day, she will regret what she did to me and be sad that she lost me. Now, she seems to be doing fine without me and she's still in contact with that bastard. Ugh, she will suffer through him. As long as I'm alive until I ctb, I will keep cursing her. You're right about that.

My lady, the very fact you judge yourself so harshly means you have good in you. We all have self worth unless we deliberately ruin somebody's life. Hell, I'm sure some murderers had good enough reason and are worthy deep down.

 

[sadgirl2002]

My lady, the very fact you judge yourself so harshly means you have good in you. We all have self worth unless we deliberately ruin somebody's life. Hell, I'm sure some murderers had good enough reason and are worthy deep down.

Thank you for thinking that of me. I'll always see myself as a disgusting piece of dirt. I honestly don't have any good left in me but I appreciate that you believe otherwise. That's so true.

 

[Dawn0071111]

Yup. Thats why Im here. Tried to ctb because I got destroyed in the worst way... amazing what humans inflict on each other

 

[azucaramargo]

face humper?

You're so hip, not_a_robot! I had never heard this term, and thanks to you, I looked it up on Urban Dictionary, and now I is informed! Thank you for keeping us on our toes!

 

[Fallen_From_Grace]

Yes. Not only just one person but it was multiple people over and over. I'm tired in every sense of the word.

 

[Astral316]

'Everyone' and 'no one but myself', simultaneously.

 

[azucaramargo]

Yes. Numbness is a very common feeling. Took me 3 long months to have emotions other than being emotionless or sad.

I'm so grateful to your family, HGL91.

 

[Jengator]

Yes it's happening to me right now by my own father. All because he's got a fragile ego. I'm amazed at how healthy people can attack sick people.

 

[MisanthropicLycan]

Yes. My ex-girlfriend Tristan absolutely ripped my heart apart and crucified my soul when she left me. The urge towards love pushed to it's limit is an urge towards death.

 

[kerokeroka]

Yeah, i crushed hard on this girl who i thought liked me back for a few months. For the first time in years i felt loved and that i was capable of being loved.
Then we started getting distant, that destroyed me as i felt like for the first time i had an actual friend or someone who loved me. I blamed myself for what happened maybe i hadnt been more proactive or something or i pushed her away unknowingly. This tore my heart and mind up. This lasted for a few weeks in which i barely ate anything and couldnt sleep or do anything. I had always been kinda suicidal but for a while i suppressed it when i crushed on this girl as i thought that maybe things could be different for me and that i could be loved, though as i was going through heartbreak it kinda came back and i was like fuck it and i joined this site hoping to find someone i can talk to about these feelings and get a better understanding of myself. And ultimately kill myself. Later on i confided what happened to a girl i thought i could trust in a note, basically described all the heartbreak i felt and how hurt i felt mentally. The girl i confided too showed the note to the girl i crushed on and it weirded her out and her friends, brother, etc who i considered myself to be on good terms with. Ended up basically burning bridges with that girl unintentionally as she only liked me as a friend and now we cant even be friends because of what happened. And alienating myself from my peers..
Spent the next two weeks not showing up for classes and not talking to anybody, just curling myself up in a ball in bed until nighttime or when i needed to go to the bathroom. It was too much for me to handle.. But i eventually pulled through it but now im not so sure if i want to love someone again for a long time.
----
She didnt do anything wrong but everything that happened between me and her did break me mentally, its only now that im starting to fully recover from the mess i created for myself mentally. I guess i could say i broke myself mentally by clowning myself with the idea that someone could actually love me for who i am and accept me as i am. Especially romantically. I dont think im ready for that nor am i interested in the idea of dating someone again at least not for a long time. Maybe in a few years i'll be down to date someone and love someone again but for right now eh.

 

[Ruinedmylif]

Has someone messed with your mind so bad that they ended up breaking you apart. Ever since I met them I havent been the same, they tore my brain apart. They kept loving and hating me to the point my brain just broke. I dont know who I am, i dont feel real, I feel like an entity that's here just to create. I attempted last night, it did workout well I wouldn't call it an attempt more of a practice. They ruined me I was so.much happier before I met them. I was in a dark place, but they sent me to a place even darker, a place where I wont come put alive. My heart is turning cold, my empathy is going away, my emotions are nothing and I'm losing interest in life itself. Who am I? How did i get here? I dont know anymore, I just need to keep creating, my self is going to vanish soon. Love is dangerous and unempathetic, love can destroy your whole psyche. Especially at the hands of someone who wants your soul.

My wife goes out every friday with another man and I'm so broken over it. But she will tell me she loves and misses me but can't be with me right now all to just keep me in the house

 

[lotus11]

love can destroy people even without the other person being a psychopath. Just simply the normal complications of can and can't have and life getting in the way can destroy you. It is destroying me personally and in fact i know a couple of people who have killed themselves over love. And that is with relationships with relatively good people so I don't want to imagine with a psychopath

 

[noctiva]

No, I will not put my brokenness on any single person but myself. Some people have contributes, and I will mostly refer to my mother in my childhood here. If I had been raised secure, with any sense of love and self love, with any kind of problem solving skills or any kind of support towards independence, I would not be he here. I have tried to acquire all these skills later on, but no matter what I did-.. it changed nothing. I hit a crisis, and it broke me, because as soon as I faced losing someone I really love, I became the broken child again, no matter how hard I tried to keep the adult mindset I worked so hard on.
I was raised broken, I am broken. I will not put that on the head of the one I love.

 

[gothfairy]

individuals categorized in the cluster b disorders (like for example psychopaths) manipulate by something called 'love bombing' in which the victim is idealized strongly followed by a phase of devaluation. it's like being on drugs: the drop is so fatal that the victim gets addicted rather quickly. After the abusive relationship, the victim feels empty, broken as if their identity was stolen from them. the abuser actually takes joy in watching the victim falling apart. cluster b people have a lack of empathy - they dont give a shit.
your description reminds me of this phenomena.

this sounds exactly like my ex boyfriend. that is the only person who i think broke me, even more than the one who cheated on me over and over and did something really fucked up to 3 of my friends.

 

[HGL91]

I'm so grateful to your family, HGL91.

Hey you're back!

 

[MeltingHeart]

Has someone messed with your mind so bad that they ended up breaking you apart. Ever since I met them I havent been the same, they tore my brain apart. They kept loving and hating me to the point my brain just broke. I dont know who I am, i dont feel real, I feel like an entity that's here just to create. I attempted last night, it did workout well I wouldn't call it an attempt more of a practice. They ruined me I was so.much happier before I met them. I was in a dark place, but they sent me to a place even darker, a place where I wont come put alive. My heart is turning cold, my empathy is going away, my emotions are nothing and I'm losing interest in life itself. Who am I? How did i get here? I dont know anymore, I just need to keep creating, my self is going to vanish soon. Love is dangerous and unempathetic, love can destroy your whole psyche. Especially at the hands of someone who wants your soul.

Yes!! This has happened to me- someone I met five years ago- I think if I hadn't I wouldn't be on this site now. It's my fault for staying - but I couldn't really seat at the time- it's only in retrospect I see how they chipped away at me and destroyed my faulty vunerable (but much stronger before I met them) sense of self! They broke me!! I'm sorry for u too! :(

individuals categorized in the cluster b disorders (like for example psychopaths) manipulate by something called 'love bombing' in which the victim is idealized strongly followed by a phase of devaluation. it's like being on drugs: the drop is so fatal that the victim gets addicted rather quickly. After the abusive relationship, the victim feels empty, broken as if their identity was stolen from them. the abuser actually takes joy in watching the victim falling apart. cluster b people have a lack of empathy - they dont give a shit.
your description reminds me of this phenomena.

individuals categorized in the cluster b disorders (like for example psychopaths) manipulate by something called 'love bombing' in which the victim is idealized strongly followed by a phase of devaluation. it's like being on drugs: the drop is so fatal that the victim gets addicted rather quickly. After the abusive relationship, the victim feels empty, broken as if their identity was stolen from them. the abuser actually takes joy in watching the victim falling apart. cluster b people have a lack of empathy - they dont give a shit.
your description reminds me of this phenomena.

Shit this happened to me! I only realised it retrospectively when the damage was already done!

 

[N3UR0T1C]

Why does everyone hate Cluster B so much, they have issues like everyone else. Some people with a Cluster B disorder may be bad people, but not everyone.

 

[Lethe]

I've always built walls (...surrounded by moats, filled with crocodiles, as well as archers on top of said walls that shoot flaming arrows) to keep people away, so that they don't have the chance to damage me to begin with. Though I think my father might have broke me in a subtle way by electing not to be in my life, or allowing his various GFs to shit-talk me at a very young age.

 

[azucaramargo]

the spakle of a cluster B

This was some good wording, WXHN! I really liked this!

 

[wendydong1]

Love bombing...

Is it when a person makes you feel loved and makes you addicted to that person in a very short time.

Afterwards, that person changes his attitude 180 degrees?

 

[escapefromabuse]

This is an old thread but the entire thing speaks to me.

Has someone messed with your mind so bad that they ended up breaking you apart. Ever since I met them I havent been the same, they tore my brain apart. They kept loving and hating me to the point my brain just broke. I dont know who I am, i dont feel real, I feel like an entity that's here just to create. I attempted last night, it did workout well I wouldn't call it an attempt more of a practice. They ruined me I was so.much happier before I met them. I was in a dark place, but they sent me to a place even darker, a place where I wont come put alive. My heart is turning cold, my empathy is going away, my emotions are nothing and I'm losing interest in life itself. Who am I? How did i get here? I dont know anymore, I just need to keep creating, my self is going to vanish soon. Love is dangerous and unempathetic, love can destroy your whole psyche. Especially at the hands of someone who wants your soul.

This is an old thread but it speaks to me. Literally everything about it. Being thrown to the side 36 hours after last sharing a bed. Like the last 6.5 years meant nothing. Like our family and home meant nothing. The lying and manipulating that followed that drove me to into dissociative states because of the pain and confusion. The constant questions of WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?? WHAT HAPPENED?? The cruelty and callousness like we're the vilest enemies. Yeah.

 

[S1mpleme]

Yes, everyone and all the time, just bite small pieces.