Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

Only hoping for a painless way.
All I wish and hope for is a painless way to finally be free from the cruelty and torment of existing, I'm so tired of suffering and it really feels like I've suffered for so long. It just feels so horrible and cruel to me how I cannot just have the option to simply die in peace even know I see existing as just unnecessary suffering with no limit as to how much one can suffer, death truly would be the only relief for me personally. I was never meant to suffer in this futile, meaningless existence that just brought so much pain all for the sake of it, no matter what it'll always feel so dreadful to exist which is why I only wish for a painless way, in fact I'd never wish to suffer in this existence and it terrifies me how the suffering can continue for so long.

I just find existing to be so undesirable in general and see it as such a terrible, horrific tragedy, all I personally hope for is to fall into an dreamless, eternal sleep and never suffer again, I just wish to be permanently free from all suffering. No matter what I'll only hope to not exist as all I wish for is peace from the burden of existence, I'd never wish to prolong any of this suffering just to end up way more tortured and tormented, in an existence so cruel and torturous non-existence truly is all I see as desirable, I just want all to be gone and forgotten about for me, I never would have chosen existence in the first place and would always prefer to not exist no matter what which is why it's so painful how the suffering just continues with me trapped in this existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Wishing to eternally erase my existence.
As long as I exist I'll always be hoping and wishing to permanently erase my existence, I see existence as just so cruel, so painful and so futile, it just creates so much suffering all for the sake of it and just torments those who suffer here which is why I'm always hoping and wishing to erase my existence. Being able to erase my existence would solve everything for me and finally bring me peace from all the cruelty and suffering in this existence I never would have chose in the first place, to me existing feels like nothing but suffering and I just don't want to suffer in any way rather I just wish for some peace instead, I see it as the most terrible, horrific tragedy to exist at all which is why I just want all to be gone and forgotten about for me.

I've suffered for so long and I'm always so tired of suffering, I just hope and wish to never suffer ever again, I was never meant for this existence and never should have been burdened with it, to me existence is the most futile, torturous burden and I find it a tragedy how this existence was imposed in the first place causing all this cruelty and pain all for the sake of it. I just hope and wish to never exist again, I wish for no more suffering, I wish to just disappear from this painful existence where finally I cannot be harmed in any way, I just want all to be erased for me, I'd never wish for existence no matter what rather it's something I only want some peace from, and for me peace could only ever lie in never existing again, all I wish and hope is to erase my existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence means suffering.
To me existence truly does mean suffering and I just don't want to suffer in any way at all rather I just wish to be at true, permanent peace instead, I only hope for non-existence where all is gone and forgotten about for me, there's just so much pain in how I cannot just have a death like never waking again to finally escape from all the suffering and cruelty in this existence I never would have chose. All I've ever hoped and wished for is to never suffer ever again but of course I never should have suffered in this existence at all.

I personally see it as something so terrible to be conscious and aware in this cruel, meaingless existence that only ever caused so much suffering and so much harm all for the sake of it, to me existence truly is the most horrific tragedy and the way I see it to exist means to suffer with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and I suffer simply from existing and I'll suffer as long as I exist. I'm so tired of being burdened with this existence I never would have chose, under no circumstances would I wish for existence rather I only wish to never suffer ever again, I've suffered so much for so long, I see nothing appealing about suffering in this existence at all, in fact to me existence itself will always be the ultimate problem, all I hope and wish for is an eternal, dreamless sleep where I'm finally free from all pain and suffering, all that can bring me peace is never suffering ever again, I'll always find it painful to exist.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existence is just so cruel.
It really is so cruel and that's why I only hope and wish for death, I only hope to never suffer in this existence ever again, I'll always see existence as the most horrific, terrible tragedy that is so incredibly cruel and just causes endless amounts of suffering, it'll always feel so horrible to me how I cannot just have the option to painlessly die in peace so I can finally escape from the cruelty of suffering in this existence. It's so cruel how I cannot just cease existing in peace even know there's no limit as to how unbearable the suffering of existing can get and I never wished to suffer in the first place, I'd never wish for existence under any circumstance rather it's something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what.

I'm always so tired of suffering in this futile, torturous existence that just causes harm where there's all this cruelty all for the sake of it, all I personally see as desirable is non-existence as only then am I unable to suffer in any way with this existence no longer my problem and as long as I exist I'll only ever wish for death. I only wish for an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all pain and suffering, I only wish for peace from the cruelty of existing and to me existing truly is only suffering, more than anything I wish I never suffered in this existence at all, I wish I stayed permanently unaware of this existence that is so cruel and harmful but of course this existence was imposed and I suffer so much as a result of it and the suffering just continues, I'll always find it deeply undesirable to exist no matter what and I'll suffer until I cease existing.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never should have suffered at all.
I truly never should have suffered at all in this existence and I find it so terrible and dreadful how I did at all, I really was never meant for the pain of existing, I see existence as the most cruel and futile imposistion and I'm so tired of being burdened with this existence that just causes harm and the way I see it, it just serves no function but to torture and torment existing beings until they die anyway. Personally I see nothing desirable about existing at all and I see no value in suffering in this existence I just saw as a terrible, tragic mistake in the first place, I'd always prefer to die but really I never should have been forced into this existence at all and more than anything I wish I stayed permanently unaware.

But now I suffer and continue to do so all I wish and hope for is to never suffer ever again, I only wish for permanent peace from the cruelty and torment of existence, death truly would be the only relief and it's all I'll wish for, I've suffered for so long and I never wished to suffer at all. Existence itself will always be the true problem to me no matter what as after all it's the source of all suffering, I'll always find it painful and torturous to exist and I know I was never meant for any of this, as long as I exist I'l only ever hope for death, I only wish for the absence of all pain and suffering and only in non-existence will I be unable to suffer, under no circumstances would I wish for existence but rather I just wish to be free from it but of course I never should have suffered at all.

 

[FuneralCry]

Eternal sleep is all I'll always hope for.
No matter what eternal sleep truly is all I'll always hope for, I only wish for an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all pain and suffering where all is gone for me, I've always wished to never wake and to cease existing truly is all that can bring me peace from all the suffering this existence causes. Existence is just too cruel, too torturous and painful and I really have suffered for too long, I wish for eternal sleep as it isn't like I can suffer from never waking again yet there is no limit as to how unbearable this existence can get and what feels so terrible to me is how the suffering can continue for so long, existence truly does just feel like a mistake to me.

I'd never wish to exist but rather I just wish to sleep, I wish for peace from this existence that only ever caused me to suffer, I personally see nothing desirable about suffering in this existence rather I'd prefer to not exist no matter what, to never wake again really is all I'll hope for. I only wish to never suffer again but of course I wish I never suffered at all, it just feels so cruel to me how I cannot just have a death like never waking again to finally bring me relief as I only hope for eternal sleep, falling asleep permanently truly would solve everything for me as after all what I ultimately have a problem with is existence itself and as long as I exist I'll suffer, I'm always so tired of suffering and it's tiredness that only eternal sleep can take away for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only in non-existence will all the suffering go away for me.
And that is why non-existence truly is all I hope and wish for as only when I no longer exist will all the suffering go away for me and I just don't want to suffer at all, instead I just wish for nothingness, personally I see nothing desirable about suffering in this cruel and futile existence rather existence just feels like a terrible mistake to me, something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what.

I wish for non-existence as after all it isn't like I can suffer from never existing again yet there's no limit as to how torturous this existence can get that can continue for so long, only in non-existence will I be able to find safety from all suffering and harm, I find it horrific how existence causes all this endless suffering and torment all for the sake of it that just tortures existing beings until they die anyway. I'll always be so tired of suffering and as long as I exist all I'll ever wish is for all the suffering to go away, I've suffered for so long and I never wished to suffer in this existence in the first place, I'd always prefer to not exist but of course I'd always prefer to never exist at all. To me it'll always feel so dreadful and torturous to suffer in this existence and I'll suffer until I no longer exist, only in non-existence the suffering will go away for me as after all without existence there can't be any suffering, to me the true problem will always lie in existence itself as it's the source of all suffering and ultimate cause of all that torments existing beings, under no circumstances would I wish to exist and I'll always hope and wish to never exist again as long as I suffer in this existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing is a burden.
No matter what I'll always see it as a burden to suffer in this existence and it's a burden so cruel and torturous that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it, to me it'll always be so dreadful just having to wake again and suffer so much as a result, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence and it's tiredness that only ceasing to exist can take away for me, more than anything I wish this existence was never imposed. I wish I was never forced into this reality where there is endless amounts of cruelty and suffering, I truly was never meant for the burden of existing and as long as I exist I truly will only ever wish and hope for death.

Ceasing to exist is all that can personally bring me peace, to suffer in this existence is something deeply undesirable to me that I'd never wish for no matter what, I just wish for permanent relief from the burden of existing instead, to me human existence will always feel like a mistake, it's something I'd never wish for under any circumstances. I see it as such a terrible tragedy to exist, there's just so much suffering in existing and it's suffering that only death can bring me peace from. No matter what I'd always prefer to avoid something as cruel and futile as existence that just causes all this pain all for the sake of it, non-existence truly is all I hope and wish for, the only relief for me could ever lie in being permanently unconscious free from the torture of suffering in this existence, I'll always find it so painful to suffer in this existence and it's pain that only death can take away for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always wishing for all to be gone for me.
No matter what I'll always and hope and wish for all to be gone for me, I just wish for all to be forgotten about in death with me finally unable to suffer, I just wish for permanent relief from this existence so cruel and painful that just causes endless amounts of suffering all for the sake of it. I truly was never meant for any of this and as long as I exist I'll always hope for all to be gone, I just want all to disappear for me, I'd never wish for the torturous, futile burden of being conscious in this existence destined to decay and die, for me existing means suffering and I just don't wish to suffer in any way rather I just wish for permanent eternal peace instead where this existence is no longer my problem and nothing can concern me.

I'd always prefer to die than suffer in this existence and what is so terrible is how the suffering just continues with no way to just eternally free myself, in this existence that just causes so much suffering all I hope for is all to be gone for me, I want it to be like I never suffered at all, existence itself is the true problem to me. it's such a cruel, terrible tragedy that just causes endless amounts of harm which is why only never existing again is desirable to me, I only wish for the absence of all suffering, I only wish for peace from all the suffering, I see it as something so terrible and torturous to suffer in this existence at all which is why I just wish for all to be gone for me, I'd always prefer to cease existing than prolong all this suffering just to end up way more tormented.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'll always see existence as the most terrible tragedy.
To me existence will always be the most terrible tragedy and it's one that just causes endless amounts of cruelty and suffering, I'd never wish for existence rather it's something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what and it's something I only wish for true, eternal peace from. As long as I've existed I've only ever wished for non-existence and it's all I'll wish for, I truly was never meant to suffer in this existence and I never should have suffered at all, I'm always wishing to permanently erase my existence so there can be no more suffering and I can finally find relief from this terrible tragedy.

I'll always see it as so torturous and dreadful to exist and I suffer simply from existing, only non-existence can bring me peace from my suffering and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope to never exist again, I'd always prefer to cease existing than suffer for potentially decades longer just to die in agony tortured by old age. Personally I just don't wish to suffer at all and I find it so horrific how existence causes all this suffering all for the sake of it, just torturing and tormenting existing beings, I'll always see existence as the most terrible tragedy and it's one that just brings pain and causes so much harm, in fact to me existing will truly always be nothing but suffering and I'll suffer until I die, in an existence so cruel and torturous non-existence truly is the only peace for me, I'd never wish for the burden of being tormented in this existence.

 

[FuneralCry]

Don't want to get old.
Personally I've never wished to reach an old age and the thought of suffering until old age is so horrific to me, I'd never wish for such torture and agony but rather I just wish to never exist again. I've just never had any interest in suffering and I'd rather prevent suffering through ceasing to exist than prolong it just to end up way more tortured but of course I wish I never suffered at all more than anything, the way I see it existence just causes so much harm and it's all just so meaningless and futile anyway.

I just don't see any benefit to suffering at all and there's no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence, instead of being tormented in this existence just to die in agony from old age I'd rather find permanent safety from all harm and suffering. I wish to be permanently unconscious incapable of suffering in any way, I never would have wished for or chosen existence and it feels like I've suffered for so long already, to me human existence is such a terrible tragedy. I see it as a curse to be burdened with this existence and what I find so agonising is how I cannot just have the option to painlessly die in peace even know this existence just leads to decay and death anyway, I'd never wish to get old in fact I'd never wish to exist at all rather I just wish for permanent non-existence, only death can bring me peace from the cruelty and suffering of existing and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope to be gone, the only relief for me truly could only ever lie in permanently ceasing to exist where all is forgotten about for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Human existence will always feel like a mistake to me.
No matter what human existence will always feel like a mistake to me and it's one so cruel and torturous that causes endless amounts of suffering, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence but rather I just wish to never exist again, I wish for non-existence where all is finally forgotten about for me, the way I see it to exist is an deeply undesirable burden and I'm so tired of being burdened with this existence. To me existence truly is the most terrible tragedy and as long as I exist I'll only hope and wish to never suffer again again, I'll personally always find it so dreadful to exist, I find it so dreadful to suffer in this existence I was never meant for.

I personally see it as a curse to exist, I see it as a curse to be capable of suffering to unlimited amounts in this existence I always saw as so futile and unnecessary, I wish I was never forced to suffer in this existence more than anything and to me existence truly does feel like nothing but suffering, I'll personally suffer until I die, I'd never wish for the cruelty and futility of human existence that just leads to decay and death anyway but rather I just wish for nothingness. I wish for all to be gone and forgotten about for me, if it's up to me I'd choose to erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all, I only hope to never suffer ever again, I just wish for permanent relief from all future unnecessary suffering in this existence that truly has caused me nothing but pain, I'll always be so tired of suffering in this existence I just saw as a mistake in the first place.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never wished to exist.
I personally really did never wish to exist and I never would do no matter what, under no circumstances would I ever wish to suffer in this cruel, futile existence where there is all this endless suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tormented. I also find it so deeply undesirable to exist as well and all I ever hope and wish for is to never wake again, in fact ceasing to exist truly has been all I've ever wished for, in this existence so torturous and pointless death truly would be the only relief for me, I really was never meant for this existence and I've always preferred the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep over suffering so unecessarily in this existence I never would have chose.

I'd always prefer to cease existing but really I never should have suffered in this existence at all, I find it such a terrible burden to suffer in this existence and I've never wished for any of this but now that I've suffered for so long in this existence I always saw as a mistake, all I can hope for is to finally cease existing. I just want nothingness, I wish to be permanently incapable of suffering and I find it so painful and dreadful to suffer in this existence and it's pain that death can only take away for me. As long as I exist I'll only hope for non-existence which is the only relief for me where all is gone and forgotten about, something as incredibly cruel as existence that just tortures and torments existing beings is something I'd prefer to avoid, I'd never wish to exist and as long as I exist I'll only hope and wish for the absence of existence, I wish for an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all unnecessary pain and suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always wishing for a painless way to just cease existing.
No matter what all I'll ever hope and wish for is a painless way to just cease existing, I wish for death to finally bring me peace from the cruelty and suffering of this existence. It just feels so cruel and horrible to me how I cannot just have a death like never waking again to bring me permanent relief as I'd never wish to exist and I'd always prefer to peacefully not exist than to prolong all this suffering just to end up tormented by old age. I personally only hope and wish for non-existence, I never saw anything desirable about existing in the first place and I personally see no value in suffering in this existence rather I just wish and hope for non-existence where all is finally gone and forgotten about for me.

I just wish to forget about this existence that just causes all this suffering all for the sake of it, I'm always wishing to just never wake again as all I hope for is the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep, there's just so much cruelty in how I simply cannot just choose to not exist as death really is the only relief for me personally and ceasing to exist would solve everything for me. It'd remove what I see as the true problem which is existence itself as after all without existence I cannot suffer in any way and to be permanently unable to suffer is all I wish for, I'm always so tired of suffering and I've suffered for so long, all I wish and hope for is to simply cease existing where this cruel, torturous existence is no longer my problem, never existing again is all I've ever hoped for which is why it's agonising how I cannot just have a death like falling into an eternal sleep, it's so painful to be trapped in this existence

 

[FuneralCry]

Always hoping to fall asleep permanently.
No matter what I'll always hope and wish to fall asleep permanently, all I wish for is an eternal, dreamless sleep to finally bring me peace from the cruelty and suffering of existing and the fact that I cannot just choose to never wake again truly is so painful, there's just so much pain in existing and it's pain that only ceasing to exist can take away for me. As long as I exist I'll hope to never wake again as after all if I'm sleeping for all eternity then I cannot suffer in any way and all is finally gone for me but really I wish I could just erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all. I'm always wishing to just erase my existence, I just want all to be forgotten about for me, I just want to never exist again, eternal sleep truly would solve everything for me and it's all I see as desirable. I'm so tired of suffering in this cruel, torturous existence and as long as I exist I'll always feel so tired, I never should have existed and was never meant for the pain of existing, as long as I exist I'll only ever be hoping and wishing to be gone.

I just want to never suffer again and I've suffered for so long already, I'm always just wishing for a death like never waking again, personally I'll always see it as so terrible and dreadful to suffer in this existence, to exist is a burden to me that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it and I just don't want to suffer in any way. I just want nothingness instead, I wish to fall asleep eternally where nothing can concern me and finally this existence isn't my problem.

 

[FuneralCry]

Death is the only peace for me
No matter what the only peace for me could ever lie in death, all I hope and wish for is peace from the cruelty and futility of existing, I'm always hoping to never suffer in this existence ever again and it really feels like I've suffered for so long, I only wish for death as after all I'm only unable to suffer once I finally cease existing and there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this cruel, torturous existence. All I personally hope for is permanent safety from all suffering, I wish for an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is gone for me and finally I cannot suffer in any way, that to me is peace and for me peace could only ever lie in never existing again.

All I see as desirable is being permanently unconscious free from all the suffering this existence causes, I'll always see existence as such a painful, futile burden that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it, it'll always feel like a mistake to exist to me. Ceasing to exist is all that can bring me peace now that I suffer so much as a result of being burdened with this existence and the suffering just continues but more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, I never should have been forced into this existence and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope and wish for some peace. I wish for the peace of being unable to suffer and never suffering again, I'm always so tired of suffering in this existence and I'll suffer as long as I exist, death truly is all that can personally bring me peace from this existence I was never meant for that I'd never wish for.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never being meant to suffer in this existence.
I truly was never meant to suffer in this existence and I never should have existed at all, I find it the most terrible, horrific tragedy to exist and human existence just feels like a mistake to me, it's one so cruel and torturous that just causes harm torturing existing beings until they die anyway, there's just so much suffering in existing and that is why I only hope for death. I'd prefer to stay permanently unaware of this existence no matter what, I wish for non-existence as after all only when I no longer exist will I be unable to suffer and the absence of all suffering is all I personally hope for, I've suffered so much for so long and I really never should have suffered at all, to me existence will always feel so dreadful and hopeless no matter what and I'll always see it as deeply undesirable to exist in general.

Personally I see no benefit to being conscious and aware in this existence that was always so pointless to me, rather such will always feel so burdensome no matter what, I'm always so tired of being burdened with this existence and all I've ever hoped and wished for is to never wake again, I personally just wish for the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep where I can finally find peace from this existence I was never meant for that just caused all this cruelty and suffering all for the sake of it and to me existing really does feel like nothing but suffering. There's just so much pain in existing and I see it as all so futile anyway, personally I just hope and wish to never suffer ever again, it's all that can bring me peace from this existence I was never meant for that I always saw as so undesirable, as long as I exist I'll only ever hope for peace and relief from all suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never had any interest in suffering in this existence.
I personally truly never have had any interest in suffering in this existence but rather I'd prefer to not exist no matter what, I see existence itself as such a terrible, tragic mistake, to me existence will always be a burden that just causes so much suffering all for the sake of it and I just don't wish to suffer in any way, rather I just wish for peace from all the suffering. I just wish to never exist again, all I hope for is to be free from all the cruelty and suffering, I just don't find existing to be desirable in general and under no circumstances would I see it in such a way, I'd always prefer to cease existing than prolong all this suffering just to end up way more tortured just to decay and die anyway, I see it as completely undesirable to exist in general.

I'll personally always find it so torturous and futile to suffer in this existence, to me human existence just feels like a mistake and the true problem for me will always lie in existence itself no matter what as it's the source of all suffering and ultimate cause of all that torments existing beings and I'll suffer until I die. I'll suffer until death takes all away for me anyway, I'd personally always prefer to avoid existence, existing certainly isn't for me at all, I was never meant to suffer so unnecessarily in this reality where there is all this endless cruelty and torment and I just don't see any value in suffering in the first place rather I just hope and wish for nothingness. I'm always so tired of being burdened with this existence and it's tiredness that only ceasing to exist can take away for me, I just want death to bring me peace from this existence I never would have wished for and never would have chosen.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me existing means suffering.
No matter what I'll always see existing as only suffering and the way I see it to exist means to suffer, I'm always so tired of suffering in this cruel, futile existence I never would have chosen that just caused me so much pain all for the sake of it. To me existing truly is the most torturous and pointless burden that serves no function but to cause suffering so unnecessarily all for the sake of it all while one is just waiting to die anyway destined to decay and suffer way more unbearably as a result. Existing is just suffering all for the sake of it all while risking experiencing way worse suffering and torment at any moment and it's horrific to me how there's no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence that I just saw as a terrible, painful and tragic mistake in the first place.

To me there's just so much cruelty in how even know existence causes all this suffering I cannot just have a death like never waking again, all I personally hope for is non-existence, I only wish to be permanently safe from all suffering, I just wish for peace from all the suffering in this existence that just caused so much harm in the first place, as long as I exist I'll only hope to never suffer again and I'll suffer as long as I exist. For me existing will always feel like nothing but suffering and it's suffering that's all meaningless and unnecessary to me anyway and I'd always prefer to not suffer at all as after all if I don't exist then I cannot suffer in any way and all is finally gone and forgotten about for me, personally I just wish to forget about existence, I wish to be permanently unaware incapable of suffering, to me existing means suffering and all I've ever personally hoped for is an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all pain and suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing can easily get way more unbearable.
It truly can which just makes me only hope and wish for death even more, to me existence itself really is the most terrible, horrific tragedy that just causes endless amounts of suffering, I'd always prefer to die than suffer in this existence and what is so cruel and terrible to me is how existing can very easily get way more unbearable just causing way more suffering as a result. There's literally no limit as to how much one can be tortured in this existence and that is why I personally find it so immensely cruel how I cannot just have the option to simply cease existing in peace as after all only in death will I be able to find safety from suffering as there cannot be any suffering in non-existence, all suffering is ultimately as a result of existence itself and to be permanently unable to suffer is all I hope and wish for.

Non-existence really is all that can bring me peace, non-existence solves everything for me, it solves what I ultimately see as the true problem which is existence itself and it's a problem so futile and unnecessary that just caused suffering all for the sake of it, harming and tormenting existing beings until death takes away all for them anyway. The thought of being trapped in this existence that I always saw as the most cruel, harmful mistake until I'm tortured so unbearably from old age is really terrifying to me, I'd never wish for such but rather I only wish to die, existence to me is something so horrific as it's the source of all suffering and as long as I exist I'll only hope and wish to never suffer again, I only wish for the absence of cruelty, harm and suffering, I wish to never wake again and forget about this existence that has just tortured existing beings all for the sake of it all throughout history, the amount of suffering this existence has caused is endless.

 

[FuneralCry]

Death is all that's positive for me.
For me death truly is all that's positive as after all if I don't exist then I cannot suffer in any way and all is gone for me, to me existing means suffering and to die means to never suffer ever again, to be permanently unable to suffer is all I hope for, death truly would be all that's positive for me in an existence so cruel and futile that just brings all this pain all for the sake of it. I'd always prefer to die but really I wish I could erase my existence, I want it to be like I never suffered at all, nothing would make me wish to be conscious and aware, In fact to me existence just feels like a curse and it's a curse that has only ever caused me to suffer, I find it so terrible and tragic how existence causes existing beings to suffer all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much agony they can feel all while they are waiting to die anyway.

I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, I only wish for peace from all the suffering and cruelty in this existence that just causes endless amounts of harm, to never exist again truly is all I could ever see as desirable. To painlessly die and be free from all future meaningless and unnecessary suffering in this existence that is just destined to decay anyway could only ever be positive to me, only non-existence can bring me relief from the deeply undesirable and torturous burden of human existence where I'm always hoping and wishing to never suffer again. As long as I exist I'll only hope to never wake, I'll only hope for an eternal, dreamless sleep where finally I'm safe from all suffering unable to be harmed in any way.

 

[FuneralCry]

Always feeling dread for what lies ahead.
No matter what I'll always feel so much dread for what lies ahead in this cruel, futile existence where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer, it terrifies me how one can suffer so unbearably for so long. Personally I just don't wish to exist at all and never would do, I'd always prefer to not exist but more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, to me existence truly is the most terrible tragedy and the true problem for me will always lie in existence itself as after all it's the source of all suffering and I just don't wish to suffer in any way instead I wish to be permanently at peace from it all.

I see existing as completely undesirable and it always will be to me no matter what, I find it so dreadful to be conscious and aware burdened with this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts. To me there's just so much cruelty in how I cannot just have the option to simply die in peace to permanently escape from an existence that has only ever caued me to suffer, personally I only wish for permanent safety from all harm and suffering where I cannot suffer in any way and all is finally gone and forgotten about for me. I'm always so tired of suffering in this dreadful existence and it's suffering that only death can take away for me, I'll suffer and hope for death as long as I exist, all I hope and wish for is peace from the cruelty and suffering of existing and for me peace could only ever lie in never existing again. To me existing truly does just feel like only suffering, something as harmful as existence is something I'd prefer to avoid no matter what, I truly never should have suffered in this existence that has always been so dreadful to me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it horrific how trying to die can go wrong.
Personally I find it so horrific how even trying to permanently find peace from this existence can go wrong and lead to way worse torture and suffering, it's all just so terrible and cruel to me, I never wished to suffer in this existence in the first place and the fact that I cannot just painlessly cease existing to escape from it truly is so agonising, I'm so tired of being trapped in this dreadful, torturous existence. To me there's just so much cruelty in how I cannot just have the option to permanently cease existing even know death is all that's inevitable anyway, this existence will disappear into nothingness no matter what so I'd prefer to die sooner to escape from unnecessary suffering.

In fact I'd never wish to exist, to me existence was always so deeply undesirable and it terrifies me how it can continue for so long with no limit as to how unbearable it can get, personally I just hope and wish to never exist again, I wish to die in peace with this existence all gone and forgotten about for me. There's just so much cruelty in existing and the suffering this existence causes is endless, only non-existence can bring me peace from suffering, the way I see it to exist means to suffer so unnecessarily all while risking experiencing way worse suffering at any moment and I suffer so much because of the imposition that is existence, to me existence itself will always be the true problem, it's so painful how I cannot just have a death like never suffering again to finally escape from it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Feels like I've wished for eternal, dreamless sleep for so long.
It truly does feel like I've suffered in this existence for so long and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope for dreamless, eternal sleep, only eternal sleep can bring me peace from the cruelty and suffering of existing. It just feels so painful and horrible how I cannot just have a painless death like never waking again as eternal sleep truly is all I see as desirable. I personally would never wish to suffer in this existence and prolong all the suffering just to end up way more tortured and tormented but rather I just wish for nothingness, to never suffer again in this existence truly has been all I've ever hoped for personally I find it so dreadful and futile to suffer in this meaningless existence that to me was just a terrible, tragic mistake in the first place.

I just wish to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and forget about it all, I just want all to be gone for me, I'd always prefer to sleep permanently as after all only in eternal sleep am I unable to suffer but of course more than anything I wish I never suffered at all. I wish I never became aware of something as cruel and torturous as existence that just causes all this suffering for the sake of it but now that I suffer so much and continue to suffer all I can wish and hope for is to be gone, non-existence truly is the only relief for me and I'll only be at peace once I'm no longer able to suffer, eternal sleep really would solve everything for me.

 

[Rational man]

O

Feels like I've wished for eternal, dreamless sleep for so long.
It truly does feel like I've suffered in this existence for so long and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope for dreamless, eternal sleep, only eternal sleep can bring me peace from the cruelty and suffering of existing. It just feels so painful and horrible how I cannot just have a painless death like never waking again as eternal sleep truly is all I see as desirable. I personally would never wish to suffer in this existence and prolong all the suffering just to end up way more tortured and tormented but rather I just wish for nothingness, to never suffer again in this existence truly has been all I've ever hoped for personally I find it so dreadful and futile to suffer in this meaningless existence that to me was just a terrible, tragic mistake in the first place.

I just wish to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and forget about it all, I just want all to be gone for me, I'd always prefer to sleep permanently as after all only in eternal sleep am I unable to suffer but of course more than anything I wish I never suffered at all. I wish I never became aware of something as cruel and torturous as existence that just causes all this suffering for the sake of it but now that I suffer so much and continue to suffer all I can wish and hope for is to be gone, non-existence truly is the only relief for me and I'll only be at peace once I'm no longer able to suffer, eternal sleep really would solve everything for me.

Of course, it is obvious that we cannot experience the benefits of non existence. Once we cease, we're gone.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate so much to your posts FC. You're one of the few members here who I feel like actually understands me. I feel alone even on this site but your posts makes me feel less alone as you actually understand just how painful the mere act of existing is. Life itself is inherently painful and the absence of life is peaceful. I hope you find peace soon away from this hellish existence. Fuck life, this shit isn't worth it. I wouldn't hesitate to press the red button to end this shit. Life is nothing but a harm and an imposition, it isn't anything beautiful or nice

 

[FuneralCry]

The only relief for me could only ever lie in death no matter what.
No matter what for me the only relief could ever lie in death and as long as I suffer in this existence it's all I'll ever hope for, I'm always so tired of suffering in this cruel, torturous existence where there's all this pain all for the sake of it and the pain will continue until I finally cease existing. I'll always find it so dreadful and torturous to suffer in this existence which is why all I wish and hope for is to never suffer again, I only wish for eternal nothingness, I wish for an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all pain and suffering where all is finally gone for me and this existence is no longer my problem.

I'll always find it a burden to suffer in this existence and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope and wish for death, only death can bring me peace from the terrible, cruel burden that is human existence, the way I see it existence itself really is the true problem, it just causes harm and suffering all for the sake of it and I'd never wish to suffer in this existence and I'll always find it deeply undesirable to exist. To me existing really does feel like nothing but suffering and I'll suffer as long as I exist, only in non-existence will I be unable to suffer which is why it's all I wish and hope for, I've suffered for so long already and the only relief for me really could only ever lie in never existing again, I only hope to be permanently unaware of this existence that to me was always such a horrific, tragic mistake.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd always prefer to die than suffer in this existence.
No matter what I truly would always prefer to die than suffer in this existence, only death can bring me peace from what I see as the true problem which is existence itself, only ceasing to exist can solve everything for me as after all if I don't exist then I cannot suffer in any way and all is finally forgotten about for me, all I hope and wish for is for death to take away all my suffering.

I'd always prefer to die than be tortured and tormented in this meaningless existence that just leads to decay and death anyway, to me human existence is the most horrific tragedy, it's something so cruel and terrible that just causes endless amounts of suffering. I'd never wish for the torment of existence but rather I only hope and wish for death, I wish to be permanently unconscious incapable of suffering in any way, I'd never wish to suffer in this existence at all under any circumstances.

Non-existence really is all that could ever be desirable to me, there's just so much pain in this torturous, pointless existence which I see as so terrible, existence itself will always be the true problem for me and it's a problem that only ceasing to exist can solve for me. I'd always prefer to die than to suffer way more just to be tortured by old age in this existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I only wish for eternal nothingness to take away all the pain of existing and finally bring me peace from an existence I never would have chose, existing truly is nothing but suffering to me and I'll suffer as long as I exist.

 

[Leiot]

Never wishing to get old.
Personally I'd never wish to get old and I could never see anything desirable about suffering in this existence for decades longer just to be tortured and tormented decaying from old age. To me old age just sounds like extreme torture and agony, it's something I'd never wish for no matter what but rather something I'd always prefer to avoid but of course I wish I never suffered in the first place, to me existence truly is just the most futile and torturous process of waiting to die which I always saw as completely meaningless and unnecessary anyway causing so much suffering all for the sake of it all while one is destined for nothing but to decay and die anyway.

Your body failing as you get older isn't as bad as the decades of pain and regret. It's been 39 years of physical pain and it does things to you, but it makes suffering very clear.

I would say I shouldn't have been born but if I hadn't my daughter wouldn't have lived her life. Even though we didn't have much of a relationship she made it worth it. Even with everything else so crappy.

For you:

 

[FuneralCry]

I just want all to be gone and forgotten about for me.
No matter what I'll only hope and wish for all to be gone for me, I just wish to forget about this existence and never suffer ever again, just being conscious is such a futile, torturous burden to me and I find it deeply undesirable to exist at all. Non-existence truly is all that can bring me peace from this cruel, meaningless existence where there is all this suffering all for the sake of it and as long as I exist I'll only ever hope for death, but really I wish I could erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all, human existence just feels like a mistake to me and it's something I'd never wish for, I'd always prefer to never exist again than suffer in this existence just to die in agony tortured and tormented by old age.

To me existing truly is suffering all for the sake of it and I'm just so tired of suffering, for me personally the only relief could only lie in never existing again, I wish to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and permanently forget about this existence that only ever caused me to suffer, I want all to be forgotten about for me, in my case I see no value in prolonging all this terrible, meaningless suffering, instead I wish to be non-existent for all eternity where the cruelty and futility of existing is no longer my problem. I just wish to be unaware of it all, I just wish for an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is finally gone for me, free from all pain and suffering and the way I see it existence caused nothing but suffering in the first place, I want death to solve what I ultimately see as the true problem which is existence itself as after all if I'm dead then I cannot suffer in any way and all is gone for me, as long as I suffer in this existence I just saw as a terrible, tragic mistake non-existence truly will be all I hope for.