Venting General thread for my vents about wanting to die

[FuneralCry]

It feels like I've suffered for so long.
It truly does feel like I've suffered for so long in this cruel existence I just never would had wished for and never would had chosen and I'd just never wish for any of this rather I just want to not exist.

I'll always see existing as only suffering and I suffer just from being conscious in this torturous existence I always saw as the most dreadful, terrible mistake, for me existence truly is the problem and it's one only eternal nothingness can solve and take away for me as if I don't exist I cannot suffer, there is no suffering in permanent non-existence and I really would just never wish for the suffering of existing rather all I hope for is some peace, I just want to sleep and for me eternal sleep really is the only peace, it's all I see as desirable and as long as I exist I'll just wish to never suffer ever again. I wish for this painful, dreadful existence to be all gone for me but of course all the suffering just continues with me just hoping to not exist, for me non-existence really is the only relief and is all I see as desirable, I wish for no more suffering and I suffer simply from existing, for me non-existence where all is finally gone really is all that's positive, I just want this existence to finally be no longer my problem but of course I'm still trapped in this existence I never would had chosen, I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I want is to not exist, for me non-existence really is the only peace and is all I hope for.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'll only be at peace once I no longer exist.
I truly will only be at peace once I no longer exist and the peace of non-existence really is all I could hope and wish for, I'll just always see it as so deeply undesirable to exist and I'd just never wish for the suffering and cruelty of existing rather all I hope for is nothingness.

I just wish for an eternal sleep free from all cruelty and suffering where there is no more pain and all is finally forgotten and I'll just always find it so painful and dreadful to be burdened with this existence of suffering all for the sake of it just waiting to not exist anyway and for me non-existence really is the only relief, it's all I hope for and is all I could see as desirable, as long as I exist I really will just wish for some peace, I just want to never exist ever again but of course all the suffering of existing just continues, it really is all so dreadful to me and I just wish I never existed more than anything. I'll just always see existence as the most harmful, futile imposition that just causes and brings all this pain and suffering until non-existence takes away all anyway and there's just so much suffering in existing, it's all so terrible to me, I'll just always see existence as the problem, to me existence truly is the most dreadful tragedy and I just wish this existence was never imposed, I just never should had suffered at all and I'll always see existing as only suffering with no limit as to how unbearable it can all get, it's just so cruel to me.