Fuck dreams

[youremy]

I don't mean aspirations.

I hate the alternate reality presented to me every night.

One in which my reasons-why don't exist. A weird mashup of happy memories of moments that never happened. A movie with people who I considered to be my friends - who were just tolerating me because I am actually insufferable - as the main characters.

I need my note to myself with my reasons why to be able to push me over the edge.

How do you battle false hope?

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

I don't mean aspirations.

I hate the alternate reality presented to me every night.

One in which my reasons-why don't exist. A weird mashup of happy memories of moments that never happened. A movie with people who I considered to be my friends - who were just tolerating me because I am actually insufferable - as the main characters.

I need my note to myself with my reasons why to be able to push me over the edge.

How do you battle false hope?

Why dont you have nightmares? I die in my dreams all the time. Sometimes i dont even resist

 

[Wojaczek]

rip princess diana

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

 

[Tautochrome]

Yeah, fuck dreams. My dreams are so good, so detailed and interesting that waking up to the flat 114p reality feels like a punch in the guts every time

 

[Magau]

I hate my dreams, too. They are nice and cozy but awakening is the most dreadful. Either in panic attack or just hating myself for not catching the bus already. I just read the post of how to make peace with yourself/death:

Ways of making peace with dying

Part of moving toward my date is making ever greater peace with dying. Not just death (no longer being here), but dying itself - that hurdle between living and death that I must also encounter en route. I think the 'dying' is where most people get hung up, understandably, with fear. I feel that...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I think today is the day. I hope having found an doable and successful way:

https://i.sanctioned-suicide.net/images/2024/04/196600_List.da.en.pdf

My combination of prescription drugs has several security layers. After having had several syncope I assume to know what to expect.
All drugs are prepared and packed in front of me. The antiemetics is there, all clear to go. I don't push myself today. It needs to come naturally.

 

[iwkmsssb]

i also have been hating my dreams recently, i haven't been able to get good sleep because i keep replaying painful memories over and over. my mind keeps racing. i dread going to sleep and i dread waking up, i always feel like shit and it's never ending these days. hope is what brought me to this point, but i never should've tried in the first place.

 

[youremy]

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Edit: it looks like the way to bypass an image being broken is to quote it.

 

[yukisopathetic]

same. i'll have an amazing dream where i'm fully happy and i love the people around me and i'm fully immersed. then i can feel myself waking up and it hits me that i just want to curl up and die. i wish i could either dream forever or not dream at all.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

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Edit: it looks like the way to bypass an image being broken is to quote it.

For anyone who can't see it…
"I'm always trying to wake up but I can't"
- Franz Kafka.

Here's another favorite from him along the same lines…
"I don't fear nightmares anymore, reality replaced them too well."

We can't wake up from this Kafka-esque nightmare and the only way to escape it is in death.