Venting feels so hard to try recovery now

[ScaredCutter]

im conatantly worried about the future. the future makes me wprry more each day, hard to constantly distract myself because im eventually reminded of it. watch videos, listen to music, play games, sctoll on instagram, scroll on twitter, ill always be bombarded with whats going on in the world.

i feel like im inxreasingly becoming more suicidal due to how so many goverments, leaders are pushing this so called "censorship law", how its basically just 24/7 monitoring. its all about control, u cabt post this, share this or ull face imprisonment. im so worried that i just want to scrub every single thing ive done online, hide and act like this world isnt real.

i hate facing reality, forcing it accept how its currently going, im fearful anf scared. theres nobody who can make it all seem fine. i want to leave my country so bad. i want to leave this planet entirely.

i still want to get better, change, face my own barriers but with how everything is going, it just makes it worse. i want to hide away. im jist so scared

 

[Someplace_nice]

I understand how you feel, I am fortunate enough to have someone ground me and help me feel better about the current world, no matter how hard I try I can't escape what's happening in my country and it scares me, I have plans for everything along side the weather trying to kill us as well it's hard. Sometimes you just gotta look the gods in the eye and yell at them, make them understand how you feel, even if no one is listening it still feels good to yell and scream about it. I am deleting my account in a few days but am happy to talk with you about it before I do that in private messages.