Discussion how to handle oberload of feelings

[ScaredCutter]

sorry if the title is incredibly wrong to what im sayibg.

at midnight, ive been feeling really shitty, upset, thibking about how i dont matter and nobodu cares about me, the usual lol. but, today i was just looking around things in a server and found smth that just makes me extremly jealous, angry and sad. i feel hatred, i feel like ive been betrayed. all i wanna do is take it out on him but its not even anything bad, literally, nothing bad, but it just makes me recall so many things that i cant handle it.

i dont vwnt to others, even if i desperately so want to, it usually causes issues anyways. i dont have coping mechanisms besides playing 2 online games anf listebibg to music, but thay does nothing rlly.

i feel so frustrated and betrayed.

 

[Vacuous]

During states of emotional overwhelm, one of the worst things the individual can do is moralize or undermine what they're feeling. You must allow yourself to feel as your nervous system wants you to. Then, and only then, can you even consider improving.

As you said, this instance of overwhelm can't be interpreted in isolation; it calls to mind things from your past. Therefore, it isn't so much the event itself causing you distress as it is what it represents within the contexts of your personal experience and identity, and that's data.

You mentioned that you feel "hatred", that you've "been betrayed". Whatever it is that's happened, a wound, or multiple, has been irritated--perhaps even reopened. And there exists only further pain in not tending to it.

The desire to enact vengeance upon the individual is an expected one, and you shouldn't try to downplay what you're feeling by moralizing it, by telling yourself that it's "nothing bad", what this individual has done. It is good that you have impulse control, but let go for now notions of fairness. What is crucial is that choosing the path of vengeance would ultimately reinforce the wound; it would keep you on the same path, tethered to the past, enslaved. Self-love is how you stay grounded; it is how you preserve your agency.

All that you should focus on right now is allowing yourself to feel without having to act on it, for your emotions contain truth. Play games, listen to music, but don't turn your back on your pain; stare at it head-on, and prove to yourself that your heart is coated with enough self-compassion to stare without judgement, to stare without having to embody your pain, without having to let it override your will, for you deserve that honesty.