momentomori00
Bellum
- Jun 8, 2026
- 16
I really don't wanna hurt my mom. She's given me her all and i know that me making this decision would scar her for life, I don't know how she'd deal with the grief. At the same time, the amount of weight and anger and frustration I carry is unbearable. The weight of my past actions haunts me and it's genuinely become impossible for me to carry. I've seen therapists, psychiatrists, anybody I can get my hands on, but I'm so tired nothing helps. I'm so sick of feeling stuck in a life that wasn't supposed to be mine.
I have passions I have things I want to do but if it means I have to carry this weight with me then those things are rendered impossible. What am I to do? I want to leave but I don't want to hurt her, it's not her burden to carry. Even if I die 'accidentally' the grief would still be unbearable for her, I'm all she has. What am I to do? I feel like I'm in limbo all the time. I just want the weight to go, I want the pain to end. But why should that entail my mom carrying my burden instead?
I have passions I have things I want to do but if it means I have to carry this weight with me then those things are rendered impossible. What am I to do? I want to leave but I don't want to hurt her, it's not her burden to carry. Even if I die 'accidentally' the grief would still be unbearable for her, I'm all she has. What am I to do? I feel like I'm in limbo all the time. I just want the weight to go, I want the pain to end. But why should that entail my mom carrying my burden instead?
