End of all hope

[Kush-Chronic]

For months I have been wondering what the path should be.

I have thought about help but I know that it will no longer bring anything. So much has happened in my life. I had to endure all the pain and all the help in the end was useless. Rather the opposite. One struggles. You get up. Trying to go on. But when you fail or a blow of fate happens, it only gets worse.

Another option would be to just pack my things and leave. I did that once before when I was younger. Looking back, the new beginning was very liberating and it gave me some nice moments. Unfortunately, I don't have that enthusiasm anymore and if it doesn't work out, it only gets worse and in the end you sit there and think about putting an end to it all.

I had already finished with my life a very long time ago. At that time CTB didn't work out. I woke up and everything was worse than before. Somehow I managed to pull myself together and tried to lead a "normal" life. But it only brought me more problems. And even when I wanted to, no one could help me.

Here I am, hoping to successfully CTB soon, after I have made all the necessary preparations for it.

A last exhausting way, hopefully...

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly can be so tiring having to endure this existence and it's so true that what we go through in life usually just gets worse as time goes on. But anyway, I wish you the best with your plans.