LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
That's the main thing that discourages me from CTB. As you say, each method carries it's own unique risks. Also, I don't want to destroy my family and possibly cause someone else to follow. It wouldn't be good for my young nephew to have an aunt that killed herself. I know my suicide would destroy people 10,000 times worse than I am feeling right now and I simply can't do that. UGH!
I know. Just the guilt I have thinking about my son following me....it keeps me from leaving. But the pain...
 
BobbyPellitt

BobbyPellitt

Leap of Faith
Sep 4, 2019
83
My end would probably be a mixture of relieve and regret, with a hint of fear.
 
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toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
I know I will be at peace emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I'm in fact very happy that I can come to my death. I don't want to live and still have conscious of my dead baby.

My death? Physically? Lol, it be alot of pain. I don't know until I die, but my CTB is I will plunge 2,000 feet free fall to my death. Or a 12 gauge shotgun to my head. I don't think it considered peaceful.

The only thing I won't dare to do is use an electric saw to saw my head off like that Russian boy. If that the case, please just give me a shotgun.
 
ScorpiusDragon

ScorpiusDragon

Mage
Mar 25, 2019
593
probably terror-filled, but hopefully I'll lose consciousness quickly, so those moments of terror will be brief
 
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Kikoo Loool

Kikoo Loool

Enlightened
Feb 25, 2019
1,128
probably terror-filled, but hopefully I'll lose consciousness quickly, so those moments of terror will be brief
Same. But I also have some chance to share this moment with a partner, I wonder whether it would help to overcome terror or not.
 
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Mizzmini45

Arcanist
Dec 1, 2019
447
Most people I knew that died whether through suicide or "natural" causes wasn't peaceful
 
BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
Yes, the word "peaceful" is probably a relative term. I would like to go out as peacefully, calmly, and rationally, as I can. But again, that's probably all relative. And as the person above states, even people who die of natural causes don't exactly go out peacefully. I'm not sure there is a way to have a 100% peaceful death.
I think the main difference is when someone dies a natural death, they're usually in a hospital or in hospice where they're given medicine so that the family doesn't see what they're actually going through. Or if the person dies naturally "in their sleep", everyone else is asleep at the time too, so no one actually sees what they go through.
I'm expecting some pain, some anxiety, and all that kind of stuff. I'm just hoping to mitigate as much of it as I possibly can and be as calm as I possibly can. Some of it will be mitigated through medication. Some of it I'm just going to try to do deep breathing and try to focus on happy thoughts or being released from my body or whatever other thing I can think of that might make me calm. Maybe listen to calming music or something.

I am under no illusion though that it's going to be what people would classically define as "peaceful" likely.

Then again, who knows, we all may be pleasantly surprised. Maybe our brains will be flooded with endorphins when the time comes and we won't even get to know what's happening. That would be the best outcome.
Unfortunately, I don't think that phase happens until right before the very end. It's the rest of it that's going to be difficult.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I'm hoping my end is calm and peaceful, but idk.
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
I hope so, but I am pretty sure it won't be....unless I drink N
 
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liverpoolfan

liverpoolfan

Student
Jun 10, 2019
189
I have N (expired and just one bottle and I'm a big lad) so I'm quite interested in this Debreather thing. Especially as you can eat and drink as much as you like and don't have to worry about throwing up or your last taste being some foul chemical.
Hypoxia is supposed to lead to euphoric feelings and seeing as I'll have a shit load benzos and a bottle of excellent claret on hand I think it might be pretty damn peaceful.
Of course you never know how strong your survival instinct is until it kicks in - but booze, benzos and hypoxia sound pretty solid as far as making the whole thing pretty mellow.

Or maybe I'll do the N after all. At least we know it works, right? The Debreather hasn't even gone on sale yet.
 
Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
Sort of. I assume I'll be overwhelmed by a suicidal impulse, down a glass of death, get hammered beyond recognition, and black out without much drama. End of the line.
 
mpnf

mpnf

Mental anguish..no more please.
Oct 3, 2019
190
I think that considering my luck , I would fail if I tried. But I I torture myself enough mentally about it, that I don't know if I will have the guts to try again. But I have to try, and if I wake up with a disability or brain damage, I will feel like shit..but there will be no returning point from there and I'll have to live with it. And it scares me so much.
 
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faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
Yes, I think it will be peaceful. But I may feel a bitter regret about what was actually wrong in my life taking the bus to the final stop...
 
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