Discussion Do you believe Romantic love exist

[efil27]

i want to discuss this because it is one of the top reasons people give to continue living I got to the point where i believe romantic love is lust wrapped up as love that disappears after some years I think the only kind of love( maybe genuine care)that exist is biological ie what biological parents and their offspring which itself is shaky as I have heard countless stories of abuse and neglect i know their is kindness and sympathy and altruism like foster parents bond between brothers and sisters and friends which is also shaky as there are countless stories of abuse and betrayal but i want to talk specifically about romantic love a kind of love for a stranger that you can stand with him or her in his or her most difficult situations and can share everything and don't need to hide anything
I like to hear to thoughts and if you have your story or someone story to store why it or it doesn't exist I will very grateful

 

[darksouls]

I am mentally and emotionally too broken for a romantic relationship
I have never experienced anything like this

 

[enjoytheride]

Same here - feeling too exhausted. Love seems too far to reach. But I like comparing love to gold. There's fool's gold, plenty of it out there. True gold is relatively rare. So I believe that true love exists and I have seen a few couples that seem to have it (especially older couples). But being rare, one must look and work really hard to find it. Or then just have good luck.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

Romantic love is a temporary condition. Sparks fly, there's chemistry and partners see each other with a halo. When that fades true love is tested through sacrifice and acts of devotion. Love is not words, promises or merely a feeing, love is measured through actions.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

I mean everything is biological in a way because, at the end of the day, we're just bags of meat with electricity running through them. That doesn't degrade the importance or emotional legitimacy of the feelings.

But I don't think it's inevitable at all that love or even intense attraction dies out and is replaced by a more platonic 'care'. I've been lucky enough to be in a relationship for 5.5 years and I am still immensely attracted to my girlfriend + I love her more now than I did when I first met her. I'm sure it happens to some relationships, but it's not an intrinsic feature of the emotions.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

i believe romantic love is lust wrapped up as love

Lust and love are not the same thing from a neurobiological standpoint and, while they can sometimes be intertwined, they can occur independently of one another. Lust tends to mainly activate the parts of the brain having to do with pleasurable activities while love activates broader regions. Romantic love involves the release of vasopressin and oxytocin, while lust mainly involves the release of estrogen and testosterone. We can also see this difference between the two when looking at the insula, as love tends to activate the anterior insula and lust tends to cause increased activity in the posterior insula. Romantic love is also thought to have potentially come about through co-opting mother-infant bonding mechanisms.

Romantic love and lust are considered to be distinct on a neurobiological level. Along with that, what you are suggesting also doesn't take into consideration the fact that there are many out there who have a very low sex drive but who are still able to experience romantic love.


I don't get why people see this as a topic even worth debating. Love is about as real as any other emotion. Not believing in it doesn't make you some kind of intellectual or something.

 

[Dejected 55]

I always wanted to believe in true love... even if it was rare. I no longer believe in anything anymore.

 

[just a bird]

I loved (still love) someone to the point where thinking about them hurts. Love exists, and I currently hate it.

 

[divinemistress87]

Yes, but I think its rare

 

[John-Doe]

I loved (still love) someone to the point where thinking about them hurts. Love exists, and I currently hate it.

it can be the greatest source of either pleasure or pain in life, sometimes it seems like both at the same time. i usually experience it as the latter, i know what you mean about hating love

 

[-nobodyknows-]

It definitely exists, but not quite in the way most people think it does. Love is a choice, not an emotion.

 

[Pluto]

 

[theboy]

Of course!
It's beautiful

 

[Feldsparc]

Love and being in love ruined my life. I'm afflicted with the tendency to fall in love many times even though I'm married. Thought I could get away with it without caring how my husband would feel. I feel like a monster. I am one.

 

[ilovenewyork]

I found love. It hurt more than anything I experienced so far

 

[kouna]

I was with my my wife for 17 years. Love/romance/lust, whatever you wanna call it lasts a few months, definitely not years. After that, it's all about having fun together (obviously including sex)... that's all there is. My therapists actually said that it's (was) very rare for a couple to do so many fun things together, we used to go to concerts bars, raves, go to the gym together, do chores together (I did anything that included water because she loved her nails and didn't want to mess them).
Even a few days before she left me, we had return from a big trip in Central Asia (the Stans).... And because you'll definetely ask me why she left me, we had a couple of very big fights close to each other fueled by me drug use and she was afraid (she was wrong in my opinion) I would hurt her.

Back on topic. I had a few other longer term relationships (more than a year) and that was really the pattern. First it's full of lust,love and desire etc and afterwards it's all about enjoying your time/doing fun things together. It's not that complicated BUT that doesn't mean it's easy, it takes sacrifices from both sides... because a lot of times you'll have to do things that you don't like but you'll have to "endure" it for the sake of your other half.... One example that comes to mind is shopping, women love spending hours shopping so if your GF asks you to join her, you'll have to endure it.... luckily nowadays we have mobile internet. Or the other way round, me dragging me wife to a death metal concert that she obviously didn't enjoy but only came so she could be with me.... the list is endless

That's my experience

 

[blood...]

i'm not sure if love is real or if it's only a concept that people believe in
but at the point in my life where i think about off'ing myself i just can't start loving someone who - i know - will stay behind someday in the future ...

 

[Spit On My Grave]

I am mentally and emotionally too broken for a romantic relationship
I have never experienced anything like this

Irrelevant .read the question again please because it is starting with do you think it exist?

From my brilliant PERFECT experience I believe it exists but rarely to be found. It in different words romantic relationships you see in small Tv screens are not exist because people are selfish, mean and lame so Fuck'em bitch

 

[darksouls]

yes, I think romantic love exists

 

[DeadManLiving]

Yes

 

[GASLIGHTER7000]

true love exists and it's one of the most beautiful and fulfilling feelings:)

 

[blackorchid]

I hope it exists. sad I never found it but the idea of true forever love is for me one of the most beautiful things in life. always fantasized about it.

 

[unloveable27]

I do but since it can never happen for me I operate as if it doesn't exist. I wish it wasn't real so nobody else could have it either. I replaced my romantic fantasies with more vulgar and angry ones. Schadenfreude is a great medicine, especially for bitter men who are destined by their height and face to be alone no matter how they act or what they say or do

 

[shampoo sniffer]

i don't know, i've never been in love.

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

Of course it does, as cheesy as it sounds when you see those old couples that were high school sweethearts and that still peck eachother/blush/giggle and all at 80+ you can't tell me it doesn't exist ahah

 

[alwaysalone]

I believe it's real. I also believe that it will make you want to die faster than anything else

 

[Enyan]

I've been with my partner for eight years, and the love I feel for him is so deep and genuine, it feels like my soul is connected to his (not literally, I'm not spiritual or anything). So, yeah, I absolutely do think it exists.

Losing him is THE worst aspect of dying. I cry about it every day.

 

[Leidensgenosse]

I think it's possible, but very hard to come by and it very rarely lasts. Like everything else people tend to overromanticize romance, leading to expectations that reality can't live up to. Anyone who's been in a long term relationship will acknowledge that relationships are a lot of work, which is primarily what they are. It's just another thing you have to manage. I catch myself wanting a new romantic relationship all the time before having to acknowledge that I wouldn't be able to maintain one with my current mindset, and that it wouldn't improve my situation the way I'd want it to.